Realizing for years the diminishing reserves of crude oil, its ever-rising price, unstable politics of the Middle East, refusal of Washington to allow any new drilling in the U.S., and stiff competition from the Japanese, Koreans, and soon, the Chine...
Juneau, Alaska - (Bonkers Mess): Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin has been speaking about the birth of her fifth daft-named child today.
WASHINGTON-In an astonishing announcement, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has revealed that the Mars Rovers Spirit and Opportunity have discovered irrefutable evidence of life past and present on the red planet.
(Washington DC) The latest Gallop poll shows Hillary Clinton taking a substantial lead over Barack Obama in the campaign for the 2008 Democratic Party nomination.
The Finnish 'Frog fishing team' has once again taken the world title back to Helsinki amidst scenes of fervent and unashamed displays of patriotism mixed with an angry and potentially troublesome anti Welsh rally during which members of the c...
Moscow - (Rotters): Russia's leading tabloid has reported that in a landmark poll of 2,000 red-blooded Russian males aged 18-69 this weekend over 95% were too pissed to answer any questions coherently.
SAN DIEGO-For George Matson, the dream of every red-blooded American boy was his for the taking in the gathering twilight of a splendid Sunday evening in San Diego: a do-or-die kick to win the Super Bowl.
Worst President Ever George W Bush's publicist, Stucken Furst-Gere has announced the long awaited Bush autobiography; "You Do It!" will be released in time for the summer beach reading lists. Critics in possession of advanced copies hav...
A very strong manure-like odor has permeated the city of London and officials expect it to stick around until Tuesday.
GALVESTON, TX-U.S. Representative Ron Paul appeared Thursday in this Gulf Coast community within his congressional district, proving to a gathering crowd of startled onlookers that he still exists, and ending twelve months of intense speculation conc...
Harry Potter 'actor' Daniel Radcliffe has told journalists that his walls are covered in posters of moustachioed former England soccer goalie David Seaman.
Salisbury Plain - (Paleolithic Mess): Archaeologists excavating Stonehenge have stumbled on what has been described as a stunning human life-sized amethyst crystal skull believed to date from circa 5,000 BC.
A San Francisco court is today expecting to hear opening arguments in a class action against numerous medical companies to ban the new blood and urine tests developed to detect prostate cancer.
Utah State Penitentiary - (Fundamentalist Mess): "You heathen folk just don't realise that for a fundamentally polygamist prophet like myself, congress is hell when each wife comes with a mother-in-law."...
The day before yesterday, the Martians invaded Earth, but it seems incredible to me that people are still going on with their lives as though nothing serious has happened.
European Union (EU) prosecutors investigating Microsoft's compliance with a 2004 anti-trust judgement have stumbled upon documents indicating the Y2K threat was an elaborate hoax.
Wayne Rooney, the erm Manchester United and erm England striker, has entered the Record Books again by shattering the World Erm-saying Record, breaking the existing total set by Simon Jack in 1978.
A man in Liverpool is recovering in hospital this morning, after suffering what is thought to be Great Britain's first recorded incidence of a sustained and unprovoked attack by plastic b...
Fans at last night's Joe Calzaghe/ Bernard Hopkins weigh-in were astonished to see the event turn into an unprecedented Silly War Of Words, as the two boxer's childish antics took over.
Due to ever increasing off-field demands such as shopping, personal grooming and generally looking pretty for personal endorsement appearances, occasional footballer David Beckham has decided to outsource his football services.
Britain's second largest bank, Royal Thistle Bank of Scotland, is to ask passerby for about £10bn of extra cash to improve its financial position and meet its quarterly shortfall.
In what can only be described as a win for the United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and special negotiator Bernie Ecclestone, a resolution has been reached that will see a peaceful transition of power in the troubled African nation.
ELDORADO, TX - The Eldorado based polygamist sect mired in the largest child custody hearing in state history defended its members against allegations of child abuse and coerced marriage of minors in a press statement issued Friday.
Red-faced US military personnel have discovered that 9/11 terrorist Osama Bin Laden had been working at the Dunkin Donuts in Somerville, Massachusetts as recently as two months ago.
The 5.2 Midwest earthquake that struck in the wee hours of Friday morning claimed its first victim when 96-year-old Maude Frickert-Smith of Paducah, KY died from an epidural hematoma.
In recognition of the Yankee organization's willingness to allow Pope Benedict XVI to celebrate Mass at Yankee Stadium, The Pope will allow certain accommodations.
The White House will support a new standard for abbreviations to fit with modern text messaging. President George W. Bush reminisced about his experiences with acronyms in his youth while talking with journalists on Thursday.