The Pope is a fake, he proclaims peace while backing war in Gods name.
Eldorado, Texas - The National Organization of Women (N.O.W.) has stepped up to the plate and offered to personally help every one of the fundamentalist polygamist compound wives make the transition into modern society.
Earlier today Paris Hilton was seen barging past security at the Harry Potter Farnham set as she hunted down ginger actor Rupert Grint.
Pope Benedict XVI spent several hours at the White House in Washington, D.C., today. During this time His Holiness furtively performed one of the most historic exorcisms in the history of the Church.
Following the lead of her more senior European Union neighbors, France and Spain, the Polish Parliament has passed legislation that will discourage anorectic models from sauntering down the nascent fashion industry's catwalks.
Groups of people who do things were investigating a woman over an incident that may or may not have happened somewhere- possibly sometime last week or at some other time.
Eldoarado, Texas - After the Eldorado police raided the largest polygamy fundamentalist compound in the state of Texas, confiscating 416 children, they thought they had put an end to the practice, only to discover that they succeeded in driving the p...
Karen Matthews, mother of Shannon Matthews, is following in the footsteps of the McCanns and hiring a former newsreader to be her family's spokesperson.
After years of searching, Osama has finally been located, and in one of the most unlikely places, the president's bed.
Pope Benedict XVI has come down with a rare disease which affects the immune system. The symptoms are more severe than AIDS because he can never have contact with another human again.
With his visit with Middle East contacts, former President Jimmy Carter has decisively asserted his relevance to no one in particular.
To be honest when my friends ask me to join them on a wee outing to the Bridgewater hall to see John Barrowman in concert I thought 'Good God, I would rather slit my throat! Is watching a man in a sequin costume singing along to an Elton John song the best use of my precious time? I could have written at least 10 good quality Daniel Radcliffe stories in that time!"...
At a hastily-convened news conference, the island of Bali has decided to divorce herself from the Indonesian archipelago and find an abode in another corner of the world.
City of London - (Ass Mess): "We figured he'd start schmoozing that feckless Bush," City of London's Commander Jim B Ergerac said today after reviewing the murder files of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi who lost Joseph Ra...
Sana'a, Yemen Arab Republic - (Fetid Mess): An eight year old Yemeni girl sold into a slave marriage with a 28 year old uncle has blamed feckless Texas polygamist Warren Jeffs for inciting harmless Sana'a relatives into acts of wanton stupidi...
St Helier, Jersey - (Sordid Mess): Police excavating the Haut de la Garenne site have found a series of lime pits at the dormitory end of the former children's home.
A "long lost" 16mm film of Norma Jean Mortenson in flagrante fellatio was recently sold for USD $1.5 million by the son of an FBI informant. The 15-minute short shows Ms. Mortenson, aka Marilyn Monroe, dressed, on her knees, and g...
Washington AC/DC - (God's Banker Mess): President Bush has welcomed the Pope at the White House and given his old satanic P2 Lodge chum a present for his 81st birthday - a new puppy to replace the 'Poodle' that was ex-UK Prime Monster Ton...
Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Geriatric Mess): "And a three-legged one at that," is Wall Street's assessment of GOP presidential hopeful John McCain.
In a stunning reversal to previous papal policies, Pope Benedict XVI announced before a crowd of US onlookers outside St. Dominic Church in Washington that women will now be allowed to receive cunnilingus. Women in the crowd cheered the Pope's d...
Newly renamed Pope Benedict the First, the first true Pope that the one true Church deserves, was interviewed by the distinguished members of the American religious press, most of whom have been obituary writers who don't know and can't tell shinola from shit any better than they can spot the difference between theology and a thesaurus.
The Holy Father of Roman Catholicism, Pope Benedict recently declared himself, the first, since he believes that the one true Church deserves him as the one true Pope.
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Bambi, the beloved doe-eyed forest Prince whose early life was first documented in Bambi, A Life in the Woods by author Felix Salten before being filmed by Disney Studios in 1942, died yesterday.
Washington D.C. - Washington's toughest pundits were shocked to discover that they had run out of scandals to report on breathlessly.
In a rare candid interview with foreign reporters on Monday, outgoing (or incoming) President Robert Mugabe admitted that a number of issues have arisen with his visionary plan to bid for the 2020 Olympic Games.
Pope Benedict, the former Cardinal No, on the Vatican private jet bound for Bush City, told reporters that he has suffered greatly because of the pedophilia scandal during his reign as Cardinal of the Holy Inquisition and Victim of Christ on earth. H...
In an odd twist to the recent Max Mosley video scandal, McLaren Formula One Chairman Ron Dennis is being held by Scotland Yard and is assisting them with enquiries into a daring armed raid on a London City branch of Barlays Bank.
Did you ever think that Disney-sweetheart, Vanessa Hudgens, would ever have a baby? Well imagine it! During what was going to be a routine interview, we learned a little more than we bargained for!...
In a shocking move yesterday, psychics and mediums worldwide proclaimed that Adolf Hitler has expressed wishes to be reborn - as a Newfoundlander.
In a recent study women who have breast enhancements bigger than they need could find themselves airborne. Seems some makers of these bigger is better breast enhancers found that if they fill them part way with some helium it could make them light and less weight filled thus making it possible for women to have less back pain.
Washington, DC - The Pope Benedict XVI has arrived in American for his first official papal visit. He brings with him his customary entourage and bulletproof Pope-mobile for security purposes as usual. However, in order to reach out to America's...