In news that will send shockwaves around middle England, Conservative leader David Cameron admitted that the Tories have absolutely no chance of winning the next election.
'Intimate' details of Princess Diana's life will be heard at the inquest into her death, but evidence of pregnancy may never be known, a judge has said.
Scotland - (Conspiracy Mess): Lawyers for convicted Libyan Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi have filed a new appeal alleging a key prosecution witness in the Pan Am Flight 103 bombing trial was offered a $2m reward by George W Bush i...
Gordon Brown ended speculation about the date of a 'snap' General Election when he announced that he would be holding a 'pre-election' election, just to see where the land lay.
Atlanta - (Ass Mess): Veteran TV news anchor and ex-MSNBC senior correspondent Rita Cosby has vowed to publish gay porn videos in support of her book that claims Anna Nicole Smith's ex-partner and lawyer Howard K Stern and Larry Birkhead, father...
David Cameron ended the Conservative Party conference with the rallying cry, "Oi, Gordon Brown! Please don't call a snap election."...
Orange County, California - Unfamiliar with the let down that being treated just like everybody else is not all that it is cracked up to be, 19-year-old, Charlene Nguon, vowed to file an appeal overturning the results of today's judicial ruling t...
Rescuers desperately trying to refloat rescue Cherie Blair from the beach where she lays stranded fear they may have to give up because 'no -one cares about her any more.'...
Washington AC/DC - (Conspiracy Mess): Connections of former Saudi ambassador to the US Prince Bandar have spoken of his 'shock and dismay' at the news of the death of Manhattan porn star drag queen Dean Johnson whose body was found in a AC/DC...
Police and firefighters wearing protective breathing apparatus were called to the Thai Cottage Restaurant, D'Arblay Street, Soho to defuse a really hot chilli dish prepared by chefs. The dish, called Nam...
Modena, Italy - (Litigious Mess): Opera star Luciano Pavarotti died broke after signing away his fortune to a 'young male stripper friend' called Brazilian Bruno, a sensational new will revealed today.
New studies show that the red, orange, and white parts of a candy corn all taste the same, despite popular belief. It is a common practice to bite each color individually in hopes of experiencing each flavor by itself.
London - (NarcoPress): Buckingham Palace should be barred from hiding drugs in the food and drink of its elderly residents, MPs were told yesterday.
The BBC, purportedly the most professional organisation in the world, has made a glaring error in announcing the sacking of one of its most popular and trusted newcasters, Moira Stuart. It sp...
A new production studio's hopes for their recent action blockbuster dimmed somewhat when their film opened to a mediocre audience response and poor reviews.
Newt Gingrich has un-withdrawn his withdrawal of consideration to run for President. While this doesn't mean that Newt is running for President it does mean that he is still considering being a candidate.
LONDON: Today, lean, mean chocolate giant Cadbury launched a super new range of cheap chocolate bars, and to make them even sweeter, they're going to make huge savings on UK jobs everywhere outside London.
OSAMA BIN LADEN narrowly escaped capture last night after getting pissed out of his skull on an Al Qaeda stag night in Afghanistan.
After loosing custody of her two children Britney Spears decided to go tanning and clubbing to chase away the pain. This is understandable after being the responsible one for the last two years it's only fair she gets to sew her wild oats.
Jurors at the inquest into the deaths of Princess Diana and Dodi al Fayed have been prevented from seeing some of the last photographs to be taken of the couple - because they are "too d...
The Conservative party kicked off this year's party conference in Blackpool with a staggering, 'elect us and we will make you rich' manifesto.
Los Angeles, California - After Britney dropped off her kids at a Carl's Jr. fast-food restaurant chain, Carl's Jr. executives have gone into overdrive trying to brainstorm on how to capitalize on all the free publicity. Recently they turned...
In a statement that is bound to prematurely end the career of nonce Jeremy Kyle, the odious television presenter claimed yesterday:...
Avram Grant, seen here wearing a hat, last night pledged to bring a smile back to Stamford Bridge as he promised the moody Blues fans: " You will learn to love me ".
There has been a lot of talk lately about The Environment - that rapid poodle Al "Ring Master" Gore keeps dragging out onto stage like some rhesus monkey with a robot brain at a mad scientist's convention.
EAST ST. LOUIS, IL -- Early yesterday morning a terrorist group with links to Al-Queda staged a daring raid on a warehouse holding the Midwest's largest cache of government cheese.
BOULDER, CO -- Studies performed at the University of Colorado at Boulder have concluded that while most forms of flatulence are nasty to outright disgusting in smell, flatulence emitted by vegans can be borderline toxic and even deadly. The study hi...