I have before me a dainty volume in green calfskin. Come with me, gentle reader, for within its pages we shall find a world vibrant with the eccentric life of fin-de-siecle Paris. It is as if we can smell, taste, touch, hear, and, last but certainly not least, see, those streets, cafes, and the filthy garrets where the artists and writers lived their halcyon lives, hastened on their brief orbits.
Hi, my name's In Seine; I'm disabled - I have no brain; and therefore no means of financial gain (that's why I write for TheSpoof.com).
I don't normally talk about dreaming about men. Except he-men like Tony the butcher or Strangler Lewis. If I ever dream about them, I'll post it, then run, far away, hide, and look and see if anyone is calling me a fairy. And I know that most people don't like to hear about others dreams. They're too boring, and blah blah. But this one will excite you!...
Spoiler Alert: Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda Young are dead. Upon hearing the news of Detective Kerry's murder, two seasoned FBI profilers (Agents Strahm and Perez) arrive at the depleted police precinct and help veteran Detective Hoffman sift through Jigsaw's latest grisly game of victims and piece together the puzzle.
But when SWAT Commander Rigg, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw,...
Vigalante? Hero? When I ventured out into the streets of Gotham my new area after being transferred from the Daily Assholes to the Gotham Bugle. (Hotter Chickitas) I got varied answers.
Washington, D.C. - You may never look at a turnip the same way again, and according to the latest studies, carrots are not only good for your eyes, they can make you a virtual love machine. "The only real side effect of doubling up ones carrot...
The teen sensation Miley Cyrus has admitted that in Children's TV show that she doesn't actually play Hannah Montana!...
I hear the skipper Phil Vickery fought the bigwigs for the right to join Princes wills & Harry for their own knees up.
On the side lines of fishing and hunting tour at the beach of Barberra Ocean, Mr. Bush complained;...
Ranger, North Carolina (IP) - A barren field in the an area near Ranger, North Carolina has become a stargazers' paradise.
As avocados and flowers continue to shrivel and wilt from the intense heat in San Diego County caused by wildfires, a spokesman for the American Society of Sex Workers and Models (ASSWAM) said today that not only are these fires affecting the state&#...
APE Line News - Buckingham Palace was caught by surprise by news that Prince Charle's DNA is nearly an exact match with Luther, a 3 billion year old humanoid from the Crustatian period.
A burglar has been found guilty in Sheffield today in the world's first case using Carbon Footprint Detection Technology.
(Washington) - In a truly incredible display of arrogance and cluelessness, the U.S. House of Representatives today voted to give itself a 4-day workweek, with every Friday off.
Portimao, Algarve: (Conspiracy Mess): With the summer holiday season now well and truly over, unemployed seasonal workers in the Praia da Luz district of the Algarve have hit on an ingenious Xmas bonus scheme in the current wake of the lets-get-the-...
In what many are already calling both "stunning" allegations and "no surprise at all", arson investigators have turned their focus of the devastating California wild fires towards a discarded crack pipe allegedly belonging to bele...
Al Gore, Nobel Prize recipient, Oscar winner, U.S. Vice President and extreme environmental wacko spokesperson, today announced he has a solution to the overuse of energy by the U.S., which he thinks also causes global warming. Gore's solution is...
Governor Aaaald Schwarzenegger announced today that the state of California will open as the world's first theme park of natural disaster. The decision came after Schwarzenegger, and a board of Haas avocado farmers got together to plan strategies...
Two lucky Kansas based Harry Potter fans hot the chance to meet author JK Rowling after being selected from a pool of thousands who entered a Scholastic J.K. Rowling Open Book Tour Sweepstakes.
Buckingham Palace, London: (Constitutional Mess): A sex, drugs and blackmail plot to oust the Puppet Monarch has resulted in a dawn raid on a Buckingham Palace crack den according to police reports.
Queen Elizabeth II was today dropped into the infamous capital of Iraq with a crack team of army soldiers. The decision came after the Queen asked to go and 'help her boys in that hell-hole'.
LOS ANGELES - An unemployed, aspiring actor was arrested by Los Angeles City Police on Saturday after suspicions that he had cooked and eaten his roommate were confirmed by investigators.
Seattle, Washington - Pussies are getting all hot and bothered resulting in an extension of the mating season that usually ends by October before starting up again in April. However, due to the balmy weather, cats are knocking their mittens and havin...
Ron Paul's campaign consultants could not have done better. Redstate.com, a tiny and insignificant political blog, recently banned most Ron Paul supporters from so much as mentioning Mr. Paul on its website.