Detroit (IP) - Rap star Twelve Pack 4 Sure was shot in the rear end by a rival rap star and is reported to be in fair condition.
Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - The Palm Beach Times reports that Paul McCartney's ex-wife, Heather Mills and Jimmy Buffet were recently married at the Breaker's Hotel on North Ocean Avenue in Palm Beach.
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The International Space Station will be dismantled one section at a time and be brought back to Earth for mechanical repairs and to remove grafitti and bumper stickers placed there by rogue astronauts and robots.
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has recalled the New Horizons mission to Pluto. The space craft is performing a U-turn and will return to Earth as commanded.
Havana, Cuba (IP) - A second missile crisis looms almost 50 years after the first Cuban misile crisis brought the world to the brink of nuclear war.
New York, New York - With the use of steroids nearly running rampant by Olympic athletes, Kodak has decided its time to end its long-term association with the Olympics, which dates back to the very first games in Athens in 1896. Officially, Kodak exe...
(New York) - More than 100 of New York's finest call girls are holding a 3-day fundraiser this weekend for presidential front runner, Hillary Clinton.
I just move into new home in Southern CA. It's a "Leave it to Beaver" type of community. As usual, the first thing I try to do when I move into a place is meet the neighbors.
The BBC has come in for more criticism after the 'Scott Walker' Imagine documentary when it announced that the prestigious Christmas Day schedule would include the movie 'Citizen Yentob'.
World, Wide and Web, the international conglomerate responsible for the running of the internet today announced that on midnight of 14th October 2007, for the first time ever in its history, the entire internet would have to be closed for &#...
English rugby and indeed the entire country has gone mental over its side's win in Paris last night.
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): A new Vanessa Hudgens Christmas cracker iPod has been launched that promises to do away with the need for Viagra by downloading pheromone-imitating subliminals in the form of alpha waves that directly stimulate the vagus ner...
Kremlin - (Conspiracy Mess): Russia's President Vladimir Sputum has threatened to "interfere in Russia's internal affairs" unless US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice releases one of his country's biggest-seized narcotic cargo...
Cricklewood, London - (Rotters): Nobel prize winner Doris Lessing played a blinder this week accepting the prestigious literature gong for a lifetime of humbug and denial about some murky DNA secrets lurking in her personal closet.
The Nepalese and Tibetian governments announced today that Mt. Everest would open the world's first haunted mountain this Halloween season. The 29,035 foot peak, the highest in the world, has been an attraction for climbers all over the world sin...
Dundalk, Ireland - Stephen"Stan"Staunton, manager of the Rep.of Ireland football team, has sensationally admitted to lying in order to get the 500,000 euro per annum job, one of the most sought after posts in international football.
In a desperate move to hold the nation's economy together and provide necessary sweeping reform in all areas, the United States president has ordered hundreds of thousands of rolls of duct tape and has passed a national duct tape standards act.
For years people called me a 'tiny-tranny-perv-beast' and a 'rotten little Scot slipper' so I know what it's like to be on the end of an extra long, wordy insult.
The health secretary dramatically accused fat people of putting the world at risk. She said that obesity is as dangerous as climate change and terrorism, and that everyone will be weighed to decide if they are obese or not; those who fail could be pu...
Today, millions of truffle sniffing Frenchmen and their mistresses are waking up with a sore head following their country's shameful assault on the England rugby team in the Stade De France last night.
Grassroots, USA -- As the latest polls are released today, one thing is clear: democratic Senator Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Presidency is on fire. As a result, it is abundantly clear that the American people are finally put off with the war...
WASHINGTON -- President Bush held a press conference today to announce a new energy initiative. At the heart of the initiative is an unprecedented and highly controversial proposal aimed at reducing U.S. dependence on foreign oil, as well as increasi...
American spoof writer King David did not win the Nobel Prize for literature this year. David, best known for his novel, The Golden Shower, currently writes prolific satire for TheSpoof.com a website originating in the UK.
Antarctica - Al Gore today received the Nobel Prize for single handedly creating global warming. "I create global warming," said former Vice President Gore, "It was actually before I created the internet, which is still being fought fo...
New York (AP) Today George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees made a stunning proposal for a prospective rules change.
BAGHDAD - The United States army never uses any weapons containing Depleted Uranium in Iraq, the United States' Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said here on Saturday at the sidelines of his visit to Baghdad, Iraq.
Whenever the UK's wimp prime minister pulls his finger out and decides he wants to lose an election, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has decreed that the premiership shall be decided in the wrestling ring.
"There's not enough farking wrestling on t...