London, England (IP) - A divorce magistrate has tossed out the settlement that Heather Mills originally won in her gold digging case against Paul McCartney.
The ACME Custard and Blood Extractor...
It seems the father of Hannah Montana has his head firmly screwed on. Billy Ray Cyrus announced this morning that his daughter Miley, who plays the Disney character Hannah Montana will go into rehab next week for a short stay. After completing rehab...
In a sharply divided vote, Aryan Nation, a formerly all-white supremacist group, voted today to allow "light skinned negroes" and those of mixed heritage to join its organization. They will also be allowing Jews who have converted to Chris...
California - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Elaine Marshall, the former daughter-in-law of Anna Nicole Smith's late octogenarian husband J Howard Marshall II, is being linked to a series of California authorities' raids connected to the former stripp...
O2 Arena - (Trick-or-Treat Mess): A secretive, dedicated bird flu-combating entrepreneur is believed to be behind classic 70s rock band The Eagles' performance of a rare one-off private gig.
Vatican Shitty - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The Pope has suspended a high-ranking gay Catholic priest from the cross.
Bang Cock, Thighland - (Ass Mess & Reuterus): King Bum-i-Boil thigh-feeling week has ended arse-over-tit with the 79 year-old supreme majesty confined to a padded cell after scans finally revealed a lifetime's inadequate blood supply to the brain...
It was just another Walk for the Cure, hundreds of good folks raising money for Kidney Disease research on a bright fall morning. No one could have predicted that this time, the "Walk for the Cure" would actually lead to a cure for one of...
The Great Lion, Aslan, finally called it a day this week. The creator of Narnia, and Lord of several other fantasy worlds has quit his role as ruler of all talking beasts.
Washington (IP) - Computer users have complained to Congress that when they enter "list of corrupt republicans" into a search engine that their computers are automatically sent a virus which wipes out their hard drive.
Denver, Colorado (IP) - Officials at the Denver mint have announced that Larry Craig will be pictured on the new Three-dollar bill that will be issued this week.
It has been confirmed by a leading US medical expert, that Britney Spears, the former pop star, has a serious medical condition which prevents her from removing her sunglasses.
Britney Spears, the troubled pop star, has been given custody of two plastic baby dolls, so that authorities can ascertain whether or not she is capable of spending time safely with her children agai...
Stade de France, Paris - England coach Brian Ashton has told the French team to not even bother turning up for this evening's Rugby World Cup Semi-Final, 'if they know what's good for them.'...
Officials of the Post Office's Communication Workers Union are up in arms about the recently agreed deal with Management and are planning to show their dismay with senior union officials by walking out on all union activi...
Avril Lavigne has sensationally revealed that she has a crush on Dubya, and it doesn't end there.
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Astronauts walked off the job today and set up a picket line to protest the new food vending machines installed aboard the International Space Station (ISS).
For millions of days 'sarcasm' has been seen as the lowest form of wit but an un-shocking new surveyette released today ranks potato-farming literamous Fergus McSpredder as the nation's least funny form. Fungus narrowly snatched defeat fr...
Geneva (IP) - The Nobel Peace Prize is being given to so many folks these days that it has been decided to issue them via cereal boxes.
Deke Skeever, owner of an adult toy/erotic goods store in San Francisco called The Pansy's Saddle has had a series of complaints and possible lawsuits lobbed his way this past week because of a product he sells - an inflatable sex toy designed to...
Inflammatory Fox radio and television pundit Bill O'Reilly made it clear in no uncertain terms that he seldom, if ever, washes his hands after taking a dump. The loofah-loving right winger claims that such sanitary impulses bespeak an unmanly adm...