Spoof news stories from November 2007
There were 814 spoof news stories published in November 2007. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies at 22
Jessica Marion died today at the age of 22. She was well known for the cult like short movie from 2 Girls 1 Cup. She died from complication stemming from food poisoning traced to a Los Angeles street vendor from a tainted buttered corn cob.
Hooters Waitress, Kyla Ebbert, loses carry-on luggage during Southwest flight to Playboy.com interview; in-flight nudity, body shots and debauchery
San Diego, California - In an attempt to make amends to Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, for forcing her off their flight for wearing allegedly scantily clad clothing, Southwest Airlines offered to fly Ebbert to her Playboy.com interview free of charge...
Big Brother twins Sam & Amanda Marchant launch naked holographic pop-up Advent Calendar
London - (Bre-Assed Cheek & Reuterus): Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda Marchant are launching their naked pop-up Advent Calendar at the Piccadilly Circus Trocadero this week.
Jessica Alba: My vagina is off limits unless necessary
Hollywood sex godess, Jessica Alba has vowed never to go nude for a movie - unless the film makers absolutely require her to flash the flesh - due to her extreme Catholic upbringing, which forbids her from revealing her naked body.
Big Penis Guy: My penis is a temple, come worship it
World famous penis owner, Dave Pekering, from Oxford England, is amazed with all the attention his 'pecker' is getting - so amazed that he has sought official recognition from the Society of Religious Organistaions for it to...
Vanessa Hudgens: "My vagina is a wormhole to fame"
Hollywood, California - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has told admirers on her social networking site that shagging her is a sure-fire way to Hollywood stardom:...
Chelsy Davy videotape sex diary heart attack for Queen
London - (ReUterus & Ass mess): Chelsy Davy's decision to sell an intimate videotape sex diary of her three year fling with the Pretender's younger son Harry has sent the Queen's blood pressure boiling.
MLB, WWE Merge - MLB Managers to be Replaced With Nearly Nude WWE Divas
STAMFORD, CT - Creating a stir in the sports, entertainment, and sports-entertainment markets, Major League Baseball and World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. announced that they will be officially merging.
Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig met with WW...
Hayden Panettiere's Vagina is Ready for its Close Up
Hayden Panettiere is finally 18 and legal so that means we can tastefully share stories about her sweet little fun spot.
Britney's Freemason Ties Exposed in Tell-All Book
Britney Spears' first husband, Jason Allen Alexander, has just published a stunning tell-all novel about the pop princess turned Poppin' Fresh Dough Girl that reveals a myriad of stunning secrets about the star, including her ties to the secr...
Cheerleader Trampled by Football Team Becomes Top YouTube Video
The high school cheerleader in Washington that was accidentally trampled by the football team is recovering with only mild bruises. Friday evening, during the Homecoming game, she moved to straighten the center of a large banner just as the football...
Geneticists discover missing link between Mexican men and chupacabra mountain goats
Geneticists today reported discovering the missing link between Mexican men and the chupacabra mountain goat. Researchers from MIT (Man, It's Tested) laboratories say that they were tipped off when one of the researchers on the team observed a Me...
Breakfast Cereal Mascots Encourage Drug Use
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - For years, parents have believed what they were giving their children for breakfast were completely innocent, nutritious, and healthy, sugar-laden cereals. Anti-drug activists, however, have revealed that those naive parents were...
Kyla Ebbert joins Virgin Atlantic; Richard Branson hires her as the airlines official fashion consultant to help with its carbon-offset program
London, England - When Virgin Atlantic's Richard Branson, invited Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, to fly his airline free of charge, everyone thought it was just another of his brilliant stuns to monopolize on free media. Well, Branson may have ou...
New Disney princess Giselle has 'enchanting' royal lineage...as Second Life hooker!
Disney HQ, Hollywood - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Disney's Internal Affairs department is probing reports that Enchanted's heroine Giselle is modelled on the hallucinogenic visions of a Texan sleazebag moonlighting as a Second Life
Nations Asian Massage Parlors Raise Prices
In a decision that was expected throughout the Wall Street community, the nations Asian Massage Parlor Association (AMPA) announced yesterday that their membership voted to increase prices effective immediately. This will be the first price increase...
American babies born without arms and legs linked to unnatural trend
American babies are being born at an alarming rate without arms and legs according to the National Ambulatory Association (NAA), a non-profit organization assisting families of children born without their arms and legs.
Teenager Wins Place in Guinness Book of World Records for Farting
Clyde Snodgrass, of Columbus Ohio has set a new Guinness World Record for the "Highest Number of Farts in a One Hour Period." The 17 year old high school student trained for six months in preparation for the competition which was held this...
King Tut Tutankhamun Real Name was Finootch
Cairo, Egypt (IP) - King Tut's real name has been discovered on a bracelet he wore around his wrist. Scientists have deciphered the letters on the bracelet and now know his whole name was King Tutankhamun Povenmire Finootch.
Stripper Jenny Bigtits is Really a Man!
Private investigators hired by Mark Lowton, editor of on-line humor magazine TheSpoof.com, have determined that popular stripper and comedy writer Jenny Bigtits is really a man.
"Yes, it's really a guy," said Lowton. "I've seen the pictures and...
Man Cuckolded - Not As Funny As It Sounds
TALLAHASSEE - A Florida man is definitely not laughing after being made a cuckold by his wife of five years. For those of you who are uneducated, and I know there are a lot, a cuckold is a husband whose wife was boned by another dude (clearly not a...
Chic-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow attacked by chickens
A Chick-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow was attacked today by a truckload of chickens while waving at motorists in Durham. The attack happened on the 1500th block of Roxboro Road early this morning as an 18-wheeler working for the Tyson Food Company s...
Do Fat People Need to Eat?
Cloverdale, Michigan - Charlie Rome, an obese Michigan man, was seen transporting a large volume of food across a busy Cloverdale street last week. It was unclear why the corpulent Mr. Rome would require additional food, since his bloated body alread...
Princess Diana Death Crash Christmas Wrapping Paper Goes On Sale In Harrods
With only 38 shopping days left until Christmas, Harrod's today decided it was finally time to unveil the new range of commemorative Princess Diana Christmas wrapping papers.
Dog the Bounty Hunter, Goes On The "I Cry like A Little Bitch," Tour
Dog, the Bounty Hunter, Chapman is hammering the news, and pseudo news circuit trying to restore his supposedly publicly challenged reputation. Only thing is,, Dog being a reality show personality has never had to act because the character he plays i...
Hurricane Noel goes missing in Bermuda Triangle
MIAMI, Florida - Hurricane Noel, the deadliest named storm of 2007, went missing Sunday in the Bermuda Triangle. The storm, which had left 120 people dead and thousands homeless in the Caribbean, headed north after leaving the Caribbean in chaos, rig...
Vanessa Hudgens flying to London for quicky virginity-repair op
Harley Street, London - (Hymen Mess): High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens is rumored to be on her way to the UK for a quickie hymen-fixing operation on the National Health Service.
Roger Federer to Play 2008 Wearing 5 to 10 Pounds of Ankle Weights On Each Leg!
Switzerland - In a rare interview from Roger Federer's home in Switzerland, the world Number 1 tennis player has an interesting proposition to the rest of the world's ATP players. "I'm sick of winning so easily," said Roger, &qu...
Britney Spears' Vagina To Write Its Own Monologue
Britney Spears, the snot-nosed Princess of Pop, has revealed her plans to enter into the world of literary excellence by contributing to the Vagina Monologues - with a piece written by her v...
Obama does the "White Man Overbite" while dancing with DeGeneres on The Ellen Show; Millions left asking: "Just How White is He?"
Burbank, California - Not quite, the cool image of Blow Monkey Bill Clinton as Presidential candidate playing his saxophone while wearing shades on the then hot "Arsenio Hall Show". Instead, Obama's political campaign managers have gone...
Dog the Bounty Hunter's Racial Tirade, A Publicity Stunt?
The Spoof has unearthed a plot that's sure to rock the television community to it's very foundation.
Black Elves call for first Black Santa Claus
NORTH POLE -- In what appears to be an historic upheaval of the usually business-like operations of preparation for the upcoming Christmas season, an angry mob of black elves are calling for the resignation of Kris Kringle and demanding he be replace...
Viscountess Linley consults divorce lawyer
Belgravia, London - (Tabloid Mess): Lord Linley's blonde bombshell wife Serena has been seen arriving at the Red Lion Square orifices of top-notch London divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya, looking thunderous.
Apple Announces New iPod - Ron Paul Edition
Apple is coming out with yet another variation of its iPod line. Reminiscent of the infamous and highly successful U2 iPod of a few years ago, the new Ron Paul model should appeal to the candidate...
Search for Madeleine Continues as New Photofit released
Gerry McCann went back to work as a cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital in Leicester, England this week. Looking sexy ater his boob job, he said that he and his wife Kate had done as much as they could in the search f...
Born-again, Torn-again 'virgins' - spark new Islamic cult!!
[Dateline Londonistan]: Just when it seemed that Islamic fundamentalism couldn't get any more extreme, a new study has revealed that social regression
Arnold Schwarzenegger Embraces Ron Paul
Fans of presidential candidate Ron Paul were caught off guard today when California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger showed up at an event for the presidential candidate.
Macca shagging NY Mafia boss's daughter
London - (Assinine Mess): Paul McCartney's new shag interest, millionaire New Yorker Ms Nancy Dishevelled, is the daughter of a Mafia mobster who won a presidential pardon from Ronnie Raygun.
Hillary Clinton 'stimulated' by Ron Paul
Aspiring Democratic Presidential hopeful New York Senator Hillary Clinton allegedly became sexually aroused during a speech by Republican/Libertarian candidate Texas Congressman Ron Paul this afternoon, according to several Republican sources at the...
Hillary Clinton in men's room scandal; Ron Paul not involved
New York Senator and aspiring presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was allegedly seen masturbating in a men's room at the Washington DC Marriot this afternoon, according to Republican sources.
Arrests of Bankers in Wanta Scandal Underway, Could Include Bush, Cheney, Clinton
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Arrests of bankers and senior US politicians due to the massive "Wantagate" scandal have finally begun, reports Worldreports.org.
Hayden Panettiere Fails To Rescue Tiny Baby Dolphin From Japanese Whalers
Heroes starlet Hayden Panettiere has been involved in a violent confrontation with adult dolphins as she struggled to save a baby dolphin, also known as a "sprat" or "roe", from Japanese fishermen.
Celine Dion: Bulimia makes me sick
Scrawny warbler, Celine Dion, has added her voice to an ad campaign to draw attention to eating disorders. The Titanic singer -as in the song, not as in size - is an avid believer in healthy eating and body health.
US to feature hybrid battle tanks
It was announced today at the Pentagon that the United States Army was going to switch over to using hybrid tanks in its ground forces. The American military is the single-largest purchaser and consumer of oil in the world, the total of which consume...
Government Sexual Health Campaign Backfires- Creates Demand For STD's
The Government has today been forced to admit that its highly advertised sexual health campaign has backfired massively, with thousands of teenagers admitting that they are turned on by the sexy adverts featuring "heavy petting" and the rem...
JK Rowling "Outs" Hagrid as Bestiality Practitioner
(Manchester, UK, Nov 16) In a further surprise announcement about the sexual proclivities of one of the characters of the popular children's Harry Potter series, author JK Rowling has announced that "in my mind, Rubeus Hagrid was always in...
Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed
Paris -- There has always been a lot of controversy around the death of rock and roll legend Jim Morrison. The lead singer of the Doors died in a Paris Flat in July of 1971. The story of mystery signatures on his death certificate and his manager b...
Hillary Clinton Attacks Ron Paul
Hillary Clinton turned up the heat in the 2008 presidential election by taking a shot at up-and-coming GOP candidate Ron Paul yesterday. Clinton referred to Paul derisively as a "radical pragmatist" when as...
Immediate weight loss, the latest solution
Research states, that one in three, or 58 million American adults aged 20 to 74 are overweight. The increasing obesity 'epidemic' has swept the nation so fast that as you can expect, every budding entrepreneur has stuck his finger in the fatt...
Heather Mills McCartney Arrested
SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS - While in town visiting the graves of her ancestors, Heather Mills McCartney was arrested and charged with six counts of "abnormal flying" under Salem's so-called "witch ordinance" which dates b...
Israel Recall Jesus and Moses for Russia Match
The general consensus is that England need a miracle to qualify for Euro 2008 and they may have gotten just that, with the news that Israel have surprisingly recalled Moses and Jesus to their squad for the clash with the Russians.
Moses, who hasn'...
GOP Republicans ban Ron Paul as candidate
After simmering for several tense weeks a seething conflict in the midst of the GOP has been resolved in acrimonious changes inside the organization long revered as the GOP. Late last night Republican National Committee (RNC) leaders emerged after te...
World to gaze on King Tut's butt
The butt of one of the most famous pharaohs from Ancient Egypt, the boy king Tutankhamun, will be put on public view for the first time. Although his mummified body has been viewed by thousands of people, it is believed that until now only ab...
Buxom Wenches Are Brainier Says Study
Birds with bouncing breasts, bounteous buttocks and thunderous thighs have bigger brains than bony bints, claims an academic at Bognor University.
Marion Jones to have Garage Sale
Monte Carlo, Monaco (AP) - Due to the recent hardships Marion Jones has lost everything including her house and is now living out of a boxcar in the Monaco rail yard.
Pete Doherty planning to spring Amy Winehouse's husband out of Belmarsh
Thames Magistrates Court - (Conspiritorial Mess): Babyshambles singer Peter Doherty was seen comforting Camden junkie Amy Winehouse today in what may be a cunning ruse to spring her husband Blake Fidel-Civil out of HMP Belmarsh where he is being held...
Illegal Canadians for Paul Streaming across US borders
Washington - Neither the department of Homeland Security nor the US State or Justice departs had any comment today as plans emerged from the blogosphere to smuggle hundreds if not thousands of 'expecting' Canadians for Paul c...
Martina Hingis Quits Tennis Due to Positive Cocaine Tests
Former Wimbledon champion Martina Hingis officially announced her retirement from tennis after her original and back up samples from this year's tournament tested positive for cocaine. She stated that the long suspension time and legal battles t...
Kate Middleton's royal DNA link to the Yorkshire Ripper
Clarence House - (Fetid Mess): Desperate HRH wannabe Kate Middleton has forked out a fortune to prove she's got blue blood somewhere along the line.
Katie Price Writes Some More Crap Books
Katie Price, the wife of tiny little Australian singer Peter Andre, has released another batch of books she has been busy writing, just in time for Christmas, and those all-important stocking fillers...
Ronnie Corbett Actually 7 Feet Tall
It was discovered today that the much disputed actual height of former comic and chimney sweep Ronnie Corbett is seven feet.
'People' Magazine says Spongebob Squarepants is Sexiest Man Alive
People Magazine has bestowed the honor of "Sexiest Man Alive" upon popular childrens TV star Spongebob Squarepants in its latest issue, on sale now.
Canadian Scientists Create Super Beaver
Banff, Alberta - Scientists on vacation at an undisclosed resort in Banff have revealed to the world Prudence, described as a "super beaver" that will change the world.
'Girls Gone Wild' Producer Tortured
OKLAHOMA - Joe Francis made millions of dollars selling videos of college girls having wild orgies while on spring break. The 'Girls Gone Wild' videos were marketed mainly to men with extremely low self esteem.
Mitt Romney's Wife Is A Hottie!
Massachusetts Governor and GOP presidential candidate in 2008, Mitt Romney, is a very lucky man. He's handsome, he's smart, he's rich and ...
Spambots Spam Ron Paul with Money
A global network of hacked PCs spammed Ron Paul's campaign with Money yesterday. The botnet managed to spew 4.2 million dollars to add to the coffers of the Ron Paul campaign. He may not be the leader of the free world, but a botnet may have som...
Hundreds of Ron Paul Supporters Protest the Tasing of White Nationalist Sympathizer, Lew Rockwell
Washington, D.C. -- Hundreds marched on Washington in protest over the recent tasing of White Nationalist sympathizer, Lew Rockwell, today.
Shouts of "White! Pow-er. White! Pow-er," and, "Ron Paul! Ron Paul!" were amongst the neo-Nazi's and K...
"Smoking Crack with Jack": Nicholson gets once off Christmas TV Special
Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson is to get a once off Holiday special TV talk show where he interviews friends while under the influence of narcotics.
Crack can make you blind Fergie tells Kate Middleton & Chelsy Davy
London - (Presposterous Mess): The ex-Duchess of York has told royal wannabes Kate Middleton and Chelsy Davy that doing too much crack cocaine has blinded them to the perils of the royal family from hell and their impostor princes Wills and Harry.
"Why don't Iranian Actresses show their Breasts?" Bush Asks
In a Press Conference here in Washington, with jolly mood, Mr. Bush put a question to Reporters that;...
Nominated short film called 2 Girls 1 Cup for a Nobel Peace Prize
Berkley CA. USA - Professor Jillian Madison of University of California at Berkley has nominated short film called 2 Girls 1 Cup for a Nobel Peace Prize. "This is a very important find for Global Warming," Jillian Said, "It's em...
Paris Hilton Protests Drunken Elephants
Heiress Paris, missing for months, has reappeared back in the news, safe and sound, and protesting drunken elephants in India.
Carol Vorderman Doesn't Throw Her Clothes Away Very Often
Carol Vorderman, the 'letters girl' from the crap TV game show Countdown, made history yesterday when, for the 25th Anniversary of the show, she wore the same pair of brown suedette trousers...
Chelsea Sign Daniel Radcliffe To Supply That "Missing Magic"
Premiership title challengers Chelsea have agreed terms with the film star Daniel Radcliffe in a bid to put back some of the magic that has been lacking since the departure of their former manager
Job Centre Chaos As Thousands Apply For England Manager's Job
Staff at Job Centres across the UK were under siege today as tens of thousands of jobseekers descended on their offices to apply for the England football manager's job.
Nancy Grace Gives Birth a Week After Twins
ATLANTA - Nancy Grace returned to the hospital after delivering twins last week. The 48-year old CNN "news host" awoke in the middle of the night with intense pains and screaming, "There's still...
Writer's Strike is Boon to Mexican Scabs
Entertainment writers who struck Hollywood on Monday, now have another foe besides the producers and extreme poverty to contend with.
Licking Lindsay Lohan is Hottest New Thrill for Teens
Malibu, California -- In what is becoming an increasingly distressing and common trend for over privileged rich kids, Lindsay Lohan highs are leading to numerous hospitalizations and in some cases death.
Oral Roberts University president really sux say students
Tulsa, Oklahoma - (Ass Mess & Reuterus): Scholars at the beleaguered Oral Roberts University have voiced approval of their president finally getting booted off the campus after months of complaining about him being a snide little crook.
Add Gators to Rio Grande to Stop Illegal Immigration, Say Texas Mayors
Texas Mayors had a conference yesterday in Austin which had two recommendations for stemming the tide of illegal immigration. First, widen The Rio Grande, second, add alligators to it. This will both discourage attempts, and remove unwanted brave sou...
Comet 17P/Holmes Puts on Spectacular Show
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Comet 17P/Holmes has been putting on a spectacular show. The comet is currently located in Perseus in the northeast sky at night and is shinning at about 3rd magnitude.
David Copperfield Makes Himself Disappear
(Las Vegas) - World famous magician and accused rapist, David Copperfield, has performed the most astonishing magic trick of his career; he made himself disappear.
Randy Couture, Dana White to Hold Hourly Press Conferences for Rest of Life
LAS VEGAS, NV -- UFC President Dana White plans to hold a press conference every hour for the rest of his life, he said earlier today, while UFC heavyweight champion Randy Couture has agreed to do the same.
God upgrades to Vista - world will be better
A spokesman for Heaven has announced that God the Almighty, the Creator of the Universe, has taken the plunge and upgraded from Windows XP to Windows Vista. It is expected that stuff will be better,...
Greeter Sleeps In On Black Friday
Denver, (AP) - Hundreds of shoppers lined up in front of a Wal-Mart were dismayed and shocked to find the store had not opened at 4:00 AM as expected on Black Friday. Apparently, the greeter who was to open the store forgot to show up to work.
Recalled Toxic Aqua Dots to be Recycled as M&Ms
Candy giant Mars, Incorporated announced today that it would purchase large quantities of recently recalled Aqua Dot toys originating from China.
Clintons Reveal Dirt on Obama
The lid came off a scandal that may rock the race for the Democratic nomination to its scabby knees. In a press conference called earlier today Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton decided to come clean about the so called "dirt" she has on Senat...
New Eastenders Family
BBC 1's misery fest, Eastenders, is to get a new family in a bid to boost flagging ratings.
Gary Neville Caught in Sex Shocker with a Fridge!
MANCHESTER UNITED defender Gary Neville has been in hiding today as it was revealed that he was caught red handed having sexual intercourse with a fridge. The England international was spotted humping the fridge at the early hours of Saturday morning...
Bush and Cheney Resign, Admit One World Order Conspiracy True, People Make Ron Paul President
After Al Gore released documents detailing the New World Order conspiracy, naming names, including all the skull and bones, Federal Reserve, Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and Bilderburger members, Bush and Cheney have joined Gore in the shame of...
Police Train Alligators to Eat Fleeing Car Thieves in Florida
Car thieves in Florida, beware! Using the Pavlov's dog training technique, every time a car alarm goes off gators start eating everyone in sight that is in a hurry.
South Florida couple buys hologram projector to keep up with Joneses
A south Florida couple with working class roots said that they bought a hologram projector to keep up with their neighbors and give the appearance that they were actually doing better than they were.
"Get off Your High Horse" - Cops tell Rudi Giuliani over his Coke-snorting Pony
Police in New York City were called the scene of a bizarre domestic incident involving Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani and his doped-up pet pony, Miss Pretty.
Beatles Cavern Club Just A Toilet
A leading British archaeologist said that the grotto whose discovery was announced this week in Liverpool was not the sacred cave linked to the legendary founding of the Mersey Sound spearheaded by the Beatles.
Chevron corralls Cheney's Corrupt Bastards with oil trader sting op
San Ramon, California - (Rioters): Chevron majority stockholders are cock-a-hoop after luring Dickless Cheney's mercenaries into harassing the big oil corporation into a $30 million sting in the oil-for-food kickbacks case.
Plant Injured Zeppelin Show on Hold
LONDON BM - The much anticipated reunion of superstar rock band Led Zeppelin was postponed recently due to an injury to Robert Plant's penis. Details of the prickly 59 year-old front man's injuries remain unclear, but rumours continue to abou...
Kate Middleton loses £100,000 BBC contract after sex and drugs sting
London - (Dumbass Mess): Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton is in shock today after being booted off a £100,000 BBC Strictly Come Dancing contract following a successful sex and drugs sting fiasco by a Daily Tosser undercover reporter.
Kate Moss cleans out dealers for Davina's birthday orgy bash
St John's Wood, London - Ass Mess): "No wonder there's an effin' crack and smack drought in London this week," dealers at Camden's Whorely Arms pub complained today after being told every last gram of recreational d...
The Adventures Of Anton Ferdinand And His Expensive Daft Watch
Anton Ferdinand, the West Ham United defender, and younger brother of ugly Manchester United star Rio Ferdinand, attacked a rival player leaving him deaf in one ear when a football night out went sid...
Blows-to-the-Groin Actually Good for Health, Study Finds
Hardup, Utah - Despite pain signals sent to the brain and the foul language that often results, groin injuries are actually quite good for one's health according to a recent study conducted by Northern Utah Technical School (NUTS).
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