Funny story:  Bush Wanted Dead or Alive

Bush Wanted Dead or Alive

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The World - Today, the entire world sent out Wanted posters for U.S. President George W. Bush. Among the crimes listed are: * Butchering the English Language * Defamation of Muslims * Piracy of the Constitution of the United States * Lying to the American People While in Office * Unprovoked Attacks on Foreign Countries * Causing Inte...
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Funny story:  Angry Pakistanis Burn McDonald's

Angry Pakistanis Burn McDonald's

Lahore, Pakistan - America's image in the Islamic world suffered another setback Wednesday when a McDonald's franchise in this Pakistani city ran out of Happy Meals. As word of the depletion spread, an angry mob of some 10,000 incensed patro...
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Funny story:  Gardener Chosen to be White House Press Secretary

Gardener Chosen to be White House Press Secretary

Washington, DC - In a move which caught everyone by surprise, President Bush announced today that he has selected Hector Gonzalez-Sanchez, a forty-seven year old undocumented worker from Guadalajara, Mexico, to replace Tony Snow as White House Press...
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Funny story:  Fighting Irish no more! Notre Dame changes mascot

Fighting Irish no more! Notre Dame changes mascot

South Bend, Indiana - Under increasing pressure from activists in the Irish community, the University of Notre Dame has decided to change its mascot.
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Funny story:  Al Gore Claims the Earth is Hotter than the Sun

Al Gore Claims the Earth is Hotter than the Sun

Funky News: Al Gore claims he has discovered that the earth is actually hotter than the sun. Gore also claims that the sun has been cooling down and has turned into a sphere of ice.
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Funny story:  Does a Stitch in time Really Save Nine? The Surprising Answer!

Does a Stitch in time Really Save Nine? The Surprising Answer!

Threadbare Gap, West Virginia - The focus of a recent symposium in this sleepy Appalachian village addressed the famous adage which alleges that a stitch in time saves nine. Scholars from around the world descended upon the campus of Rube State Uni...
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Funny story:  New Bond Girls Unveiled

New Bond Girls Unveiled

Well the wait is over. Entertainless News is pleased to bring our readers the news that the newest femme fatales have been selected for the next James Bond movie, "Bloke, Cloak, and Dagger, which is set to be released sometime in early 2008.
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Funny story:  Senator Barack Obama to Officially Change Name

Senator Barack Obama to Officially Change Name

In a bold attempt to further increase his chances in his bid for the 2008 Democratic Presidential Nominations, Senator Barack Obama announced plans to change his name in time for the first presidential primary.
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Funny story:  Area Man Continues Sit-in at Dairy Queen

Area Man Continues Sit-in at Dairy Queen

Beauchamp, LA--Russ Simwelt continued his sit-in at the local Dairy Queen in his adopted home-town of Beauchamp, la. Simwelt is protesting Dairy Queen's use of foreign-made "jimmies", the delicious chocolate sprinkles so popular among ice cream love...
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Funny story:  Marine Corps Changes Hymn

Marine Corps Changes Hymn

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - "From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli," was the verse sung by millions of U.S. Marines as they marched. Today that was changed. The Marines' Hymn, most sacred to all Marines, w...
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Funny story:  New Plastic Surgery General Apointed For The USA

New Plastic Surgery General Apointed For The USA

Washington DC - Stanley Frobish has been appointed the new Plastic Surgeon General of the United States of America. Although few in the country had ever heard of the post it has been in existence for the last fifteen years.
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Funny story:  Republicans Say Pages No Longer Enough

Republicans Say Pages No Longer Enough

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush signed a bill allowing Republicans to have sex with prostitutes. This comes after Friday's resignation of Randall L. Tobias from the post of deputy secretary of state after confirmi...
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Funny story:  "Mulligans" To Be Introduced in All Sports!

"Mulligans" To Be Introduced in All Sports!

The popularity of Mulligans in the sport of Golf has proven to be infectious. The golf do-over actually originated in the Bronx in the 1950's in the sport of box ball. Street kids delivered a high bouncing Spaldeen against a building wall on a si...
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Funny story:  Queen snubs Harry S Truman's 123rd Birthday

Queen snubs Harry S Truman's 123rd Birthday

Independence, Missouri - (Ass Mess): Queen Elizabeth is to snub President Harry S Truman's official birthday celebrations in Independence, Missouri on 8 May.
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Funny story:  "Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather to Enroll at MIT this Fall

"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather to Enroll at MIT this Fall

"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather, unbeaten pound for pound best boxer in the world, last night, after whipping boxing great Oscar De la Hoya in a twelve round split decision, announced his retirement from boxing before an HBO audience estimate...
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Funny story:  Wolfowitz Says the World Bank Business Is Corruption

Wolfowitz Says the World Bank Business Is Corruption

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Beleaguered World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz has defended himself, pointing out that his personal graft and corruption with his girlfriend "is nothing compared to what the World Bank does to the world."...
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Funny story:  Lemmy Finishes Garden Wall And Vows To Take Honours At Fete

Lemmy Finishes Garden Wall And Vows To Take Honours At Fete

Hellraising bassist and Motorhead frontman, Lemmy, was today the toast of the Shires as he single-handedly put the finishing touches to his garden wall.
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Funny story:  Unlicensed Hairdresser Sentenced to Electric Chair

Unlicensed Hairdresser Sentenced to Electric Chair

Fort Myers Florida - Thirty two year old Crystal Montecrisco was sentenced to death yesterday for operating a Beauty Parlor without a license.
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Funny story:  Bush wages war on water

Bush wages war on water

Washington DC - President Bush has announced that the US and it's allies are at war with water.
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Funny story:  Wally Schirra Dead Astronaut Tell All Book To Be Released

Wally Schirra Dead Astronaut Tell All Book To Be Released

HOUSTON,TEXAS-(APE) Lawyer representing the estate of former Mercury 7 Astronaut, Wally Schirra, has released to the media the contents of a "very revealing" book to be published by Freedumb Books. The expose titled "NASA: No Astronaut Should Ask", D...
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Funny story:  Ratzinger's coke dealer gets suspended sentence and anonimity

Ratzinger's coke dealer gets suspended sentence and anonimity

Rome - (Ass Mess): Pope Ratiznger has gagged the name of a Holy Sea official who was fired after cocaine was found in his Vatican sauna room locker.
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Funny story:  Free Paris - not the city!

Free Paris - not the city!

Poor thing. . . if someone doesn't do anything by June 5th she will be in the slammer.
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Funny story:  All Hail The Cocktail Party!

All Hail The Cocktail Party!

Dammit! I've been so busy, I have totally forgotten The Queen of England is in the United States to celebrate the 400th anniversary of a town which was replaced, and this is going to be a big problem. I just know somebody is going to goad me into coming to their cocktail party to meet Her Majesty Elizabeth and head Consort Philip, and I'm not prepared. I know this because anybody who lives...
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Funny story:  Mitt Romney campaign eyes Mormons' 9/11 movie

Mitt Romney campaign eyes Mormons' 9/11 movie

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Campaign managers for Governor Mitt Romney's 2008 White House bid are begining a frantic rearguard action ahead of expected anti-Mormon sentiment which a new 9/11 movie about the 11 September 1857 act of religious terr...
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Funny story:  Two American Idol Finalists Hospitalised after Eating Tainted Dog Food

Two American Idol Finalists Hospitalised after Eating Tainted Dog Food

Hollywood, California - Two American Idol finalist were discovered unconscious with their arms wrapped around each in the their dressing rooms after taping last weeks episode of the show. Test results showed that the cause of their illness was a part...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton and Britney Spears Eat Dogs Reports RSPCA

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears Eat Dogs Reports RSPCA

The rspca has today revealed that it has been investigating hundreds of cases of celebrity dog abuse. A spokesman today commented, "Top celebrities are not just kissing their dogs, they are licking them, then frying them up later and eating them...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton To Be Released Early From Prison

Paris Hilton To Be Released Early From Prison

Paris Hilton was today celebrating after an extraordinary turn of events which concluded in her early release from imprisonment. Following a private meeting with Miss Hilton's super-wealthy desperate parents the Judge in Paris' drink-driving...
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Funny story:  Britain In Crisis Over Decent Weather

Britain In Crisis Over Decent Weather

Chaos looks set to rein on the streets of Great Britain today as the glorious weather sets in for good and the majority of the Great British Public finds their main topic of conversation - the weather - has dried up.
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Funny story:  Human Flatulence Blamed For Climate Change

Human Flatulence Blamed For Climate Change

It would appear, according to Government Environmental Agency research, that climate change is almost wholly attributable to the flatulence of humankind. Eminent Environmental Agency Scientist, Miss F. Hart, has discovered that gases emitted by human...
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Funny story:  Nude Twister, health and safety alert!

Nude Twister, health and safety alert!

OSLO, Roothers, statistics just released show a worrying increase in the number of Twister related fatalities and injuries, as much as one third of which seem to occur whilst playing the popular party game in the nude.
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Funny story:  Bush's Vetos: Make Love and War and Babies Who Will Go to War

Bush's Vetos: Make Love and War and Babies Who Will Go to War

Presidential historians will struggle to understand Bush's only vetoes. This president has only denied legislators stem cell research and an end to his four year war debacle in Iraq. Now he threatens to use his neglected veto power to prevent leg...
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Funny story:  First Lady Writes Book About Life With "W"

First Lady Writes Book About Life With "W"

First Lady Laura Bush has just written a book about what it is like being the wife of George W. Bush. Entitled "I Married a Dumbass", the book is an intriguing look at what it is like to be the wife of the most powerful dumbass in the worl...
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Funny story:  National rifle Association Defends Bin Laden's Right to Be a Terrorist!

National rifle Association Defends Bin Laden's Right to Be a Terrorist!

What is a terrorist without weapons? Even George Washington needed weapons to free America from the British oppressor. So when the NRA fought this week to defend the right of terrorists to bear arms, explosives and weapons of mass destruction, their...
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Funny story:  Peez and Rice Waltz Across the Floor at Summit Junior Prom!

Peez and Rice Waltz Across the Floor at Summit Junior Prom!

Delegates from across the globe met at the Summit Junior Prom this week in Shiit-on-the Charmin, Egypt. Already arranged couples and stags searching for partners negotiated their way around the resort dance floor once occupied by Antony and Cleopatra...
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Funny story:  ApesRPeople2 Fights for Heezel and Rosi!

ApesRPeople2 Fights for Heezel and Rosi!

ApesRPeople2 representative MonkeyMan revealed this message to the world in a press conference designed to save the lives of these Apes. Apekidnapped from Sierra Leone with bloody diamonds up their rectums this pair of precious apes have gone from zo...
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Funny story:  Serial Abductor Strikes Again

Serial Abductor Strikes Again

Late yesterday evening Mrs. Alma Louis of Atlanta, Ga. was abducted at the Denver, Co. airport. Authorities are led to beleive her abductor is a white male, 5"4", 155lbs and could be the possible suspect in a string of other cases.
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Funny story:  Bong Hits for Kenneth Starr

Bong Hits for Kenneth Starr

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Kenneth Starr, who petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court to take up Alaska's "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case, a dispute involving a high school student, Joseph Frederick, a banner, and a tough school policy, was arr...
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