Funny story:  Parents Horrified as Teen Fries Family Pet after All-night Jam Session

Parents Horrified as Teen Fries Family Pet after All-night Jam Session

Tammy Jean and Booger McNulty, mother and newly-acquired stepfather of fifteen-year-old Albert Ray Bunt, Jr., sat helplessly by as young Albert Ray literally petted the family cat to death in a bizarre music-related incident this past weekend, accord...
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Funny story:  Death of a Snowman

Death of a Snowman

Researchers at Chiley University today released the results of a 5 year study detailing the effects of global warming on snowmen. The outlook for these heart-melting yard creations is glaringly grim.
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Funny story:  Presidential Health Crisis Averted:  Unknown Object Removed from Bush's Ear

Presidential Health Crisis Averted: Unknown Object Removed from Bush's Ear

Doctors were mystified after removing an unknown foreign object from the President's ear. Doctors were puzzled by the unusual object and cannot determine exactly what it is or how it got in Bush's ear. Bush was also clueless and released no...
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Funny story:  The Race is not Over Yet

The Race is not Over Yet

Heads up, animal lovers, you finally have a presidential candidate you can whole heartedly support. Unfortunately, Trevor the Turtle has entered the 2000 presidential race.
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Funny story:  Gas Prices Force Cut-Backs

Gas Prices Force Cut-Backs

After years of sky-rocketing summer gas prices, consumers have finally had enough. Many are just not going to take it any more, they are refusing to buy any more gas.
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Funny story:  Jim Baker Receives Pardon from President Bush

Jim Baker Receives Pardon from President Bush

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Jail - Since the death of Jerry Falwell, President George W. Bush has been looking for a new spiritual leader for America and the Corrupt Bastards Club. After sorting all his "facts," President George W. Bush wrote a...
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Funny story:  New Hominid Species Discovered

New Hominid Species Discovered

Paleontologists in New York have unearthed the fossil remains of a previously unknown hominid. Carbon dating indicates an age of 68 million years; much older than the famous Lucy uncovered in Africa.
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Funny story:  Beauty on the Inside Myth Debunked

Beauty on the Inside Myth Debunked

"Real beauty is on the inside." Well not any more, now that doctors can see inside the human body it is all too clear that real beauty must lie elsewhere. Researchers at Hardly University have sifted through thousands of MRIs, X-rays and CAT sc...
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Funny story:  Deadly Slow Internet Growing Hazzard

Deadly Slow Internet Growing Hazzard

People are actually dying of boredom while connected to the most massive and comprehensive accumulation of data, communication links and entertainment in the history of the universe. Technology is advancing at a rapid pace and so is the speed of int...
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Funny story:  Ralph Fiennes's mile high club hostess opens brothel

Ralph Fiennes's mile high club hostess opens brothel

Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): Ex-Quaintarse air hostess Lisa Robertson has trumped her career-best achievement of screwing Ralph Fiennes in a mile high club incident earlier this year when en route to Mumbai from Sydney International.
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Funny story:  Microsoft Bug Causes Mass Picnic

Microsoft Bug Causes Mass Picnic

Redmond, WA (FP) - Micrasoft Corparation annouced today the findings of a possible deliderate bug that has disabled the spellscheck and grammer checks features of all micrasoft applicatoins. Thier is word that the company is deploying a first respons...
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Funny story:  New Scientific Studies Show That Watching Gay Porn Makes Men Infertile

New Scientific Studies Show That Watching Gay Porn Makes Men Infertile

Yesterday German scientist Stefan Landheimer released new proof that watching gay porn actually negatively affects a man's fertility.
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Funny story:  President Bush: Fight in Iraq Essential to American Security

President Bush: Fight in Iraq Essential to American Security

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - United States Coast Guard Academy, New London, Connecticut - May 23, 2007 President George W. Bush made a speech at the United States Coast Guard Academy.
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Funny story:  Bong Hits 4 Incest! as Creationist Museum hails Cain's Mormon marriage to sisters

Bong Hits 4 Incest! as Creationist Museum hails Cain's Mormon marriage to sisters

Petersburgh, Kentucky - (Ass Mess): Global anti-Biblical humbug pressure group Bong Hits 4 Incest! has staged a demonstration in Petersburg today outside the latest Creationist Museum to open to the witless and gullible American public.
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Funny story:  Anti-Iraq War movement in U.S. calls it quits

Anti-Iraq War movement in U.S. calls it quits

It's Memorial Day in the U.S. Millions of Americans are celebrating by burning gasoline and barbecue lighter fluid. Tens of thousands of U.S. troops are occupying Iraq to secure its oil. Democrats in Congress have abjectly surrendered to Bush&#...
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Funny story:  Response to Roy on YouTube

Response to Roy on YouTube

Hi there you all. This here is Billy Bob. My good friend Roy just made one o these here video thingys about that no good Commie Ron Paul. That there's fella with 2 first names whut's runnin' fer president. Anyway, this here Ron Paul guy, He's runnin' fer president, he said that them folks flew over and knocked over are bildings cuz we made 'em mad jus like ol' Roy explained.
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Funny story:  Clover margarine pulled amid bird flu fears

Clover margarine pulled amid bird flu fears

Telford, Shropshire - (Ass Mess): The Dairy Crest Food (sic) Company has pulled over two million tubs of its slimy yellow margarine spread from supermarket shelves after fears that it is contaminated with bird flu.
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Funny story:  I'm Proud to be a Loyal Bush Supporter

I'm Proud to be a Loyal Bush Supporter

I'm Proud to be a Loyal Bush Supporter (To the tune Okie from Muskogee)...
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Funny story:  Bush, Rice Love Child Found

Bush, Rice Love Child Found

Tijuana, Mexico (FP) - President Bush and Condoleezza Rice's long suspected love child has been discovered living in a housing project in Tijuana, Mexico, officials reported Friday.
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Funny story:  Gordon Brown Shot In London

Gordon Brown Shot In London

There was pandemonium in London today when Gordon Brown was shot during a visit to a Marks & Spencer store in Oxford Street. Ambulance crews were called and Mr Brown was rushed to hospital, where his...
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Funny story:  Shetty to sue Endemol

Shetty to sue Endemol

London (ass press) On the same week that channel 4 has been ordered to appologize to Sharpa Shetty, the glory of Bollywood cinema has announced that she has filed a law suit against Endemol for destroying her immune system.
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Funny story:  Dead bodies to be recycled

Dead bodies to be recycled

Along with the mounting concern over landfill sites rapidly running out of space comes a new worry that the same thing is happening to Britain's graveyards. Even though over 50% of the population choose to be cremated after death, approximately 3...
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Funny story:  NASA love triangle astronut Oefelein faces extradition from International Space Station

NASA love triangle astronut Oefelein faces extradition from International Space Station

Cape Canaveral - (Ass Mess): NASA is to send an FBI-reinforced extradition team to the International Space Station to deport space shuttle pilot William Oefelein where he is in hiding after lurid publicity surrounding the Lisa Nowak love triangle epi...
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Funny story:  Fitzie slams perjuring liar in Libby sentencing recommendations

Fitzie slams perjuring liar in Libby sentencing recommendations

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Scooter Libby justice perversion trial's Prosecutor Patrick FitzGerald has slammed those who commit perjury "when they raise their hand and take an oath in a judicial proceeding or traditional Presidential swe...
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Funny story:  Sweden pulls out of Ms Universe contest after topless decision

Sweden pulls out of Ms Universe contest after topless decision

Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Sweden has pulled out of Monday's Miss Universe competition after strict new guidelines in the pageant's topless category banned surgiaclly-enhanced contestants.
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Funny story:  Let It Bea! McCartney paternity probe dropped as Mills signs gagging clause

Let It Bea! McCartney paternity probe dropped as Mills signs gagging clause

London - (Ass Mess): Paul McCartney and Heather Mills have buried the hatchet today about the paternity of their baby daughter Beatrice who was fathered by sperm harvested from California stud Larry Birkhead, father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughte...
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Funny story:  Rolling Stones dump financial guru Prince

Rolling Stones dump financial guru Prince

London - (Ass Mess): The Rolling Stones have finally dumped Prince Frederick Von Assfelt their financial manager of the last 37 years.
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Funny story:  Herewego, herewego, herewego! Glory days as Becks, Sven recalled for England

Herewego, herewego, herewego! Glory days as Becks, Sven recalled for England

FA HQ, London - (Ass Mess): The England dream ticket of striker David Beckham and coach Sven Goran Ericksson has been recalled after FA bosses admitted they got it wrong by tossing out the pair for failing in two consecutive World Cup bids.
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Funny story:  Wild Things Are Mistaken For Space Visitors

Wild Things Are Mistaken For Space Visitors

The truth about the mystery of crop circles is out. For we can reveal that they have nothing to do with extra-terrestrial visitors but more to do with a group of pole dancers from Gloucester.
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Funny story:  Beefy Botham Slams His Knighthood

Beefy Botham Slams His Knighthood

Ian Beefy Botham is to be made a "Sir" in the forthcoming honours list and in characteristic fashion, the beer-swilling pot-head is hopping mad despite his good news.
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Funny story:  Damien Hirst In Trouble Over His Latest Artistic Undertaking

Damien Hirst In Trouble Over His Latest Artistic Undertaking

This year's Turner Prize will have to do without former winner Damien Hirst, but that hasn't stopped the artist from unveiling two new pieces of work ahead of the competition.
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Funny story:  Rosie O'Donnell Leaves The View Early for the WWWF's Friday Night Smack Down

Rosie O'Donnell Leaves The View Early for the WWWF's Friday Night Smack Down

Hollywood, California - In a prepared statement to the media, ABC announced today that Rosie O'Donnell would not be returning to the View. It was at her request to be released from her one-year contract just short a few weeks of it expiring in mi...
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Funny story:  Rosie O'Donnell To Jerry Springer: I Want Your Job!

Rosie O'Donnell To Jerry Springer: I Want Your Job!

Hollywood, California - Rosie has openly expressed, while live on The View, an interest in in hosting The Price is Right, but Bob Barker already gave it to some else. Now off The View and still no takers, Rosie appears desperate for a new show to hos...
View 'Rosie O'Donnell To Jerry Springer: I Want Your Job!'
Funny story:  Extraterrestrial Aliens Cross Border

Extraterrestrial Aliens Cross Border

In recent years there have been fewer sightings of unidentified flying objects, or UFOs in the United States. Just the opposite is true in Mexico, where there has been a phenomenal increase in UFO sightings over the past twenty years. A current mem...
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Funny story:  O.J. Simpson to Promote Ginsu Knives

O.J. Simpson to Promote Ginsu Knives

A spokesperson from the Ginsu knife company announced yesterday that former professional football superstar and double murder defendant O. J. Simpson has signed a contract to do a series of infomercials to be seen on late night television.
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Funny story:  Jimmy Carter Angry Over Bush Honor

Jimmy Carter Angry Over Bush Honor

An angry Jimmy Carter lashed out today at the current occupant of the White House, President George W. Bush, when he learned that Bush had been nominated for induction into the Ignoramus Hall of Fame.
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Funny story:  Ignoramus Hall of Fame Selects Bush as Newest Inductee

Ignoramus Hall of Fame Selects Bush as Newest Inductee

Despite the myriad negative aspects that have come to define the presidency of George W. Bush, one bright spot recently emerged. Dubya was notified last week that he will be officially inducted into the Ignoramus Hall of Fame, or IHF, at their annua...
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Funny story:  Olsen Twins Upset About Makeover

Olsen Twins Upset About Makeover

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, stars of the feel good, family friendly late eighties early nineties sit-com Full House, have announced that they intend to sue famed Hollywood makeover magnate Georgio Georgini for malpractice.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Moved to Halfway House: Holiday Inn

Paris Hilton Moved to Halfway House: Holiday Inn

Paris Hilton will be moved shortly from her cell in the Los Angeles Regional Detention Center to a halfway house.
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Funny story:  Prince Charles Changes Royal Title

Prince Charles Changes Royal Title

In a shock move, Prince Charles has decided to drop his title 'Prince of Wales' in favour of the title 'Prince of Darkness'.
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Funny story:  Boy Shoots 1,151 Pound Wild Hog in Alabama Same Day Rosie O'Donnell Reported Missing in State

Boy Shoots 1,151 Pound Wild Hog in Alabama Same Day Rosie O'Donnell Reported Missing in State

An eleven year old boy in Alabama killed a wild boar hog weighing 1151 pounds on a hunting trip with his father. The pig is reportedly larger than the famous Hogzilla of the state and is the largest reported boar ever.
View 'Boy Shoots 1,151 Pound Wild Hog in Alabama Same Day Rosie O'Donnell Reported Missing in State'
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