Funny story:  Paris Hilton's Skull Site of Dense Black Hole - Hawking

Paris Hilton's Skull Site of Dense Black Hole - Hawking

Stephen Hawking, the amazingly brilliant Briton, who is Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, author of several outstanding books, and arguably the most intelligent person on the planet, announced yesterday that he theorizes that...
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Funny story:  FEMA Announces Mobile Luxury Cabins For Victims of Natural Disasters

FEMA Announces Mobile Luxury Cabins For Victims of Natural Disasters

Still reeling from the incompetence dysfunction, and outright fraud which characterized its response to Hurricane Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Administration, or FEMA, announced yesterday that they have accepted a bid from Halliburton to...
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Funny story:  House of Representatives Adopts New National Anthem

House of Representatives Adopts New National Anthem

Describing the Star Spangled Banner as imperialistic, warlike, and vindictive, the new Democratically controlled House of Representatives voted to change the national anthem to the Beatles classic All You Need Is Love.
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Funny story:  Huffing Gasoline - New Drug of Choice for the Wealthy

Huffing Gasoline - New Drug of Choice for the Wealthy

Inhalant abuse among the affluent in America is reportedly soaring as the price of gasoline continues to rise to new levels. Cocaine had long been the drug of choice among those with more money than brains. That, however, is changing, as drug users...
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Funny story:  Larry King Joins Rock Group KISS

Larry King Joins Rock Group KISS

In a surprising move, Gene Simmons, bassist and vocalist of the heavy metal band KISS, announced that talk show legend Larry King will become the fifth member of the group. The band, which recorded its first album in 1974, has, to date, consisted of...
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Funny story:  Pamela Anderson Gets Booed

Pamela Anderson Gets Booed

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Cannes, France - When Pamela Anderson, now 39 years old, was booed by photographers when she showed up late for her photo session and only stayed around a few minutes to pose for a photo shoot, or at least that's what she t...
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Funny story:  Jackson Drops Bid to Block Auction

Jackson Drops Bid to Block Auction

ABN (Angel Boi's News) - Las Vegas - Michael Jackson's lawyers have dropped a bid to block an auction of a warehouse full of Jackson's belongings. It was a failed business venture that wound Jackson up in the bankruptcy court.
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Funny story:  Michael Jackson Drops Bid to Block Vegas Auction

Michael Jackson Drops Bid to Block Vegas Auction

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Las Vegas - Michael Jackson's lawyers dropped a bid to block an auction of a warehouse full of Jackson's belongings. It was a failed business venture that wound Jackson up in the bankruptcy court.
View 'Michael Jackson Drops Bid to Block Vegas Auction'
Funny story:  Alberto Gonzales to Head World Bank

Alberto Gonzales to Head World Bank

In response to mounting pressure from both sides of the political spectrum, President Bush has asked Alberto Gonzales to step down as Attorney General.
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Funny story:  Sam Allardyce To Be Honoured With Statue In Home Town Of Dudley

Sam Allardyce To Be Honoured With Statue In Home Town Of Dudley

New Newcastle United manager Sam Allardyce is to be honoured by the Council in his Black Country home town of Dudley, with a statue of himself in the town's shoddy Market Square. The structure made, like Sam, from granite, will be reminiscent of t...
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Funny story:  'Corrupt Bastards' is the new 'Britney's Vagina': report

'Corrupt Bastards' is the new 'Britney's Vagina': report

Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): It took the Corrupt Bastards Club to finally sweep Britney's fathomless vagina off the newsstand headlines and media mastheads following several weeks' relentless exposure of the bare-assed cheek of the US oil ser...
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Funny story:  Police Chiefs Protest At 'Easy Targets'

Police Chiefs Protest At 'Easy Targets'

The Police Federation has called on ministers to abandon 'arrest targets' which, they say, have forced officers into ludicrous decisions to apprehend and throw in jail, perpetrators of nothing more than every...
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Funny story:  Dick Cheney has Evil Plan to Rule the World

Dick Cheney has Evil Plan to Rule the World

Anonymous sources today warned of Vice-President Dick Cheney's evil plot to rule the world with Cheney clones. These sources claimed Cheney used oil companies' high tech labs and huge profits to create more than 10,000 Cheney clone embryos.
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Funny story:  Kate Middleton to be sent to Iraq instead of Wills and Harry

Kate Middleton to be sent to Iraq instead of Wills and Harry

London - (Rioters): Kate Middleton is to be sent to Iraq instead of William and Harry who have been furloughed because none of Saddam's former palaces has been refurbished to a sufficient level to accommodate their needs.
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Funny story:  American Idol Spinoff: The 2008 Presidential Race; Bill Clinton Onboard

American Idol Spinoff: The 2008 Presidential Race; Bill Clinton Onboard

The American Idol producers at FremantleMedia today announced a new spinoff of their successful series, involving the 2008 Presidential race. CEO David Ellender, speaking in New York City, said that the company had secured an agreement with former Pr...
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Funny story:  World Leaders Express a Serious Interest in Running for U.S. President

World Leaders Express a Serious Interest in Running for U.S. President

Over the last twenty four hours announcements by certain world leaders' expressing an interest in entering the race for President of The United States has left pundits in shock and voters in awe. Perhaps sensing an opportunity due to voter apathy...
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Funny story:  Cherie to get own chat show as Tony prepares to run World Bank

Cherie to get own chat show as Tony prepares to run World Bank

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Cherie Blair is to set to get her very own Faux News celebrity chat show later this year as husband Tony lines up to take over Paul Wolfowitz's top job at the International Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement.
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Funny story:  Christian aid: Cultivate A Brighter Future Campaign

Christian aid: Cultivate A Brighter Future Campaign

'We are crying out for food. We have no energy to cultivate our land. Instead of working our fields, we are tending the sick and being sent to prison where we will be executed for merely cultivating cannabis to help make enough money to feed our village.'...
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Funny story:  Paris Hiltons Pussy goes hungry whilst she is in custody!

Paris Hiltons Pussy goes hungry whilst she is in custody!

LA, USA, Global ASS' Press: - Wonderful human being, celebrity role model and animal lover Paris Hilton is know for her love of small fury things but has had to put her cuddly friends behind her as she prepares t...
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Funny story:  Pagans turn Cal Jennings Into Lizard

Pagans turn Cal Jennings Into Lizard

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - TheSpoof.com writer, Cal Jennings, ran into some trouble with the Pagan writers at TheSpoof.com for writing an article that included a quote of a Bible verse.
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Funny story:  Satirical website trumps Nobel winner Joe Stiglitz on Blair's World Bank job

Satirical website trumps Nobel winner Joe Stiglitz on Blair's World Bank job

London - (Ass Mess): Speaking to the BBC today Nobel prize winner and former senior vice-president/chief economist at the World Bank Joe Stiglitz said he felt confident that Tony Blair would now be offered Paul Wolfowitz's CEO post at the World B...
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Funny story:  New brass statue of Queen Mother impersonator

New brass statue of Queen Mother impersonator

London - (Ass Mess): A new statue of the woman who took over the role of impersonating Queen Elizabeth, wife of King George VI after the latter two lost their lives in the September 1940 bombing of Buckingham Palace, is to be unveiled.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton's impersonator to serve sentence.

Paris Hilton's impersonator to serve sentence.

Hotel Heiress Paris Hilton has dropped an appeal against her jail term and is now expected to serve 23 days in the Century Regional Detention Center, Los Angeles.
View 'Paris Hilton's impersonator to serve sentence.'
Funny story:  Odd Couple Shares Parting Moments

Odd Couple Shares Parting Moments

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain and President Bush stood together in the bright sunshine on Thursday for their last joint appearance in the Rose Garden. Mimosa tree blossoms were falling, a light Spring...
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Funny story:  Ron Paul Promises to Remove the 'No' Symbol from the Constitution

Ron Paul Promises to Remove the 'No' Symbol from the Constitution

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Republic of Texas - Republican Ron Paul promises that, if elected, he will remove the "No" symbol from the Constitution that President Bush had placed there.
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Funny story:  Antonio Banderas Jumps for Joy Over 'Shrek' Role

Antonio Banderas Jumps for Joy Over 'Shrek' Role

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - New York - Antonio Banderas jumped from a plane 100000 feet up because he was so happy over his "Shrek" role. Antonio is the voice for the Puss in Boots character in the animated film.
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Funny story:  Pru Goward Appeals "Driving Faster There's Less Chance of Hitting Someone."

Pru Goward Appeals "Driving Faster There's Less Chance of Hitting Someone."

High profile Australian politician Pru Goward has been charged with a driving offence for the second time in three months. This time being caught speeding in a school zone.
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Funny story:  It's Official - Birmingham Residents Have Highest I.Q.

It's Official - Birmingham Residents Have Highest I.Q.

In a shock announcement today, after decades of being branded the thickest town in the UK, Birmingham's residents were found to have the highest I.Q. on the planet!...
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Funny story:  Scientists to make freak animals

Scientists to make freak animals

London: UK ministers have given the go-ahead for scientists to produce human-animal hybrids.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Satisfies Lusty, Sweaty, Prison Women

Paris Hilton Satisfies Lusty, Sweaty, Prison Women

Although Paris Hilton seduced a healthy number of people, estimated to be 30,000 signatures, to appeal to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for a pardon, it seemed to be a case of, too little too late. When questioned about the Hilton plea for leniency Schw...
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Funny story:  As Wolfowitz Resigns, US Seeks To Appoint Another Poodle to World Bank

As Wolfowitz Resigns, US Seeks To Appoint Another Poodle to World Bank

WASHINGTON (AP) - Although Paul Wolfowitz has finally resigned as World Bank president over his graft and corruption, a new battle looms as the United States seeks to replace him with another neoconservative sleazebag poodle for the institution.
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Funny story:  "Votes for Orgasms" scandal rocks Second Life's virtual world

"Votes for Orgasms" scandal rocks Second Life's virtual world

Anonymous sources, in a position to know, last night revealed to TheSpoof.com reporter, I. Spoof, explosive information concerning a brewing scandal involving sex, money, and politics, all in the virtual world of Second Life.
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Funny story:  Chelsea Fans Revive Old Song To Honour Mourinho

Chelsea Fans Revive Old Song To Honour Mourinho

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is to be honoured by Blues' fans at tomorrow's FA Cup final against Manchester United at the New Wembley stadium, with a revival of the old Stamford Bridge favourite One...
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Funny story:  George Bush Outlaws Coffee

George Bush Outlaws Coffee

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - President George Bush just signed a new bill into effect that would outlaw coffee. "I want cocaine to be the only legal stimulent," said Bush. "We've gotta' stop all them other drugs...
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Funny story:  The Old Bible to Be Replaced with TheSpoof 2.0

The Old Bible to Be Replaced with TheSpoof 2.0

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - God announced that The Holy Bible is about to be replaced with TheSpoof 2.0.
View 'The Old Bible to Be Replaced with TheSpoof 2.0'
Funny story:  Grooming Standards Relaxed in Marine Corps

Grooming Standards Relaxed in Marine Corps

In a surprising change of policy, the United States Marine Corps, arguably the most staid and traditional of all branches of the American military services, announced today that all grooming standards are being relaxed. From now on, U.S. Marines, en...
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Funny story:  Spongebob Makes Campaign Promise

Spongebob Makes Campaign Promise

Speaking at a political rally in his hometown of Bikini Bottom, Spongebob Squarepants, the independent candidate for presidency of the United States said, that if elected, he will never be implicated in any kind of sex scandal.
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Funny story:  Mickey Mouse Dead of Apparent D-Con Overdose

Mickey Mouse Dead of Apparent D-Con Overdose

Mickey Mouse, the beloved Disney character who charmed millions of young hearts has died, the victim of an apparent D-Con overdose.
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Funny story:  Supreme Rules on NBA

Supreme Rules on NBA

The United States Supreme Court ruled Thursday that the National Basketball Association, long dominated by very tall men, must begin to integrate men of lesser stature.
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Funny story:  New Wing of Corrupt Bastards Club Party Thrown in West Virginia

New Wing of Corrupt Bastards Club Party Thrown in West Virginia

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - West Virginia - The newest branch of the Corrupt Bastards Club hosted a party today at the home of TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jennings, featuring a life-sized poster of the 4/11 attacks. The drugs for the party were furnished by...
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Funny story:  Credit Checks to Become Part of Admission Process in Hospitals

Credit Checks to Become Part of Admission Process in Hospitals

Just because you have health insurance, don't expect to get medical treatment at your local hospital emergency room.
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Funny story:  O'Donnell and Trump to Square off in Boxing Ring

O'Donnell and Trump to Square off in Boxing Ring

Boxing promoter Don King announced yesterday in Las Vegas that he will sponsor what he calls the "Battle of the New Millenium", a heavyweight match between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. It will be the first event of its kind, a fig...
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Funny story:  Wizard of Oz Remake to star Bush, Cheney, and Rice

Wizard of Oz Remake to star Bush, Cheney, and Rice

Anathema Motion Pictures recently announced that a newly updated version of the classic movie the Wizard of Oz is set to begin filming this summer, with a release date of April 2008 anticipated.
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Funny story:  World Bank Suspends Bounce Protection for U.S.

World Bank Suspends Bounce Protection for U.S.

Paul Wolfowitz, the outgoing president of the World Bank, announced today that bounce protection for the United States is being suspended immediately.
View 'World Bank Suspends Bounce Protection for U.S.'
Funny story:  Upper Class Restrooms

Upper Class Restrooms

In spite of protests from many sectors alleging elitism, Proctor & Gamble, makers of Charmin toilet paper, have announced that they will go forth with a plan to open a series of not so public restrooms catering to the toileting needs of the wealthy.
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Funny story:  Paul Wolfowitz Steps Down Becomes World Bank Teller

Paul Wolfowitz Steps Down Becomes World Bank Teller

Belgium - Paul Wolfowitz had to give up his presidency of the World Bank, but he is not a quitter. He has decided to work his way up by starting at the bottom, taking a job at the World Bank as a Bank teller.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Drops Appeal - Found Nappy Headed Ho

Paris Hilton Drops Appeal - Found Nappy Headed Ho

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Paris Hilton dropped her appeal in favor of serving her jail sentence. Hilton even went so far as to urge supporters of her plight to sign a petition seeking a pardon by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, but to no avail. She fin...
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Funny story:  White House Correspondant Puts Bad Spin on Ron Paul Interview

White House Correspondant Puts Bad Spin on Ron Paul Interview

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The "Internets" - National Review White House Correspondent, Byron York, did his level best to put a bad spin on the Ron Paul interview after the Republican debate at the University of South Carolina. He tried to mak...
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Funny story:  Republican Party to ban common sense and Ron Paul from debates

Republican Party to ban common sense and Ron Paul from debates

WASHINGTON, D.C. - To stem the tide of support for the one Presidential candidate who makes sense, Congressman Ron Paul, several state Republican Party rulers are trying to ban common sense from the debates. By writing a rule against common sense, R...
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Funny story:  Ex-President Bush Burns Texas A&M Science Building

Ex-President Bush Burns Texas A&M Science Building

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - College Station, TX - Today, upon hearing that researchers at Texas A&M University are combining statistics and chemistry to shoot holes in traditional bullet-lead analysis techniques and the accuracy of so-called "expert&...
View 'Ex-President Bush Burns Texas A&M Science Building'
Funny story:  'Humble' Brown Takes Over as Leader

'Humble' Brown Takes Over as Leader

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - Today, Prime minister-elect Gordon Brown said he was "truly humbled" to have been appointed Labour leader, even though Labour Party party members refused to endorse his promotion.
View ''Humble' Brown Takes Over as Leader'
Funny story:  Bush Assails Colleges That Shun ROTC Units

Bush Assails Colleges That Shun ROTC Units

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush fumed at colleges who don't have ROTC programs.
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Funny story:  Blair: My White House Sleep-Over in the Queen's Bedroom

Blair: My White House Sleep-Over in the Queen's Bedroom

Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): Tony Blair has spoken for the first time about his historic sleep-over in the White House's Queen's Bedroom where, all alone without wife Cherie, the opportunity to shag the shit out of anything moving proved al...
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Funny story:  Corrupt Bastards Win in Legislation

Corrupt Bastards Win in Legislation

NAZIUSA - Juneau, AK - The Corrupt Bastards Club scored two victories in the courts today when they killed two bills in committee despite evidence of popularity among legislators.
View 'Corrupt Bastards Win in Legislation'
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