Funny story:  CalJennings Tries to Help Bush

CalJennings Tries to Help Bush

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Ripley, WV - Today, after throwing a beer bottle at President George W. Bush's RV, TheSpoof.com reporter CalJennings felt guilty and went back to see if he could help. When he got to the president's RV, Bush stumbled o...
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Funny story:  Jerry Falwell Hits Roadblock On the Path to Heaven

Jerry Falwell Hits Roadblock On the Path to Heaven

We all thought the Reverend Jerry Falwell was a shoe in for gaining admittance to heavenly paradise. Unfortunately there seems to be a little hitch in his paper work clearing his ascendancy to nirvana.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Drops Appeal on Prison Sentence

Paris Hilton Drops Appeal on Prison Sentence

Paris Hilton has dropped her appeal and appears resigned to serve out her forty five day prison sentence for D.W.I. and driving with a suspended license. She admitted to her publicist today that she hopes she is such a good girl that she does get ha...
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Funny story:  Bush sends in USS Bunker Hunt to blast Juneau satirist for "caravan" story

Bush sends in USS Bunker Hunt to blast Juneau satirist for "caravan" story

Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): The White House ordered a massive show of strength today in the Corrupt Bastards Club-riddled shores around Juneau where a Nam Vet and satirist has been holding out lampooning the Bush Administration's freefall into i...
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Funny story:  West Virginia Group To Start Own Corrupt Bastards Club

West Virginia Group To Start Own Corrupt Bastards Club

A group of men from West Virginia, distrurbed and disgusted by the news and debauchery out of Juneau, Alaska, has decided to form their own Corrupt Bastards Club. That organization has been in the news lately in connection with several illicit scams...
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Funny story:  Schools Around the World Cancelled

Schools Around the World Cancelled

According to recent studies school is causing stress to students. Ting Schits who teaches at Wellh Ung school says "In the past months, I have seen more and more student depression caused primarily by school."...
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Funny story:  Is American Idol, Rigged?

Is American Idol, Rigged?

A source inside American Idol has come forward to reveal winning contestants are pre determined by the American Idol staff well before America votes. It's been alleged by a news source that Jordon Sparks was picked as the winner in the first few...
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Funny story:  Army finds compromise: Prince Harry to go to Iraq as a member of a Concert Party

Army finds compromise: Prince Harry to go to Iraq as a member of a Concert Party

Beaming Generals emerged from a high level Army meeting today with the announcement that Prince Harry will go to Iraq, but not to fight. He is to join a Concert Party.
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Funny story:  Nazi Saul Petitions Against Ron Paul

Nazi Saul Petitions Against Ron Paul

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Michigan - The Chairman of the Michigan Republican Party, Saulius Anuzis, or "Saul" as he likes to be called, took the day off from persecuting and killing Christians to write a petition to keep Ron Paul out of future...
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Funny story:  Council Arrests Pigeon For Dropping Two Crisps

Council Arrests Pigeon For Dropping Two Crisps

A council has defended its decision to issue an £80 litter fine after a pigeon dropped two crisps on the pavement. The pigeon was pounced on by 2 zealous litter wardens who threw themselves onto the shocked bird waving their council badges.
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Funny story:  Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs

Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs

Dairy farmers have today revealed plans to add liquidized Mars Bars to calf's stomachs in an attempt to produce chocolate flavoured beef.
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Funny story:  Indian Men "Most Honest" in World Condom Survey

Indian Men "Most Honest" in World Condom Survey

A two-year study carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research has concluded that Indian men are the worlds most honest when it comes to completing surveys about penis size.
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Funny story:  Where There's Drought, There's Brass

Where There's Drought, There's Brass

Madonna hopes to earn her weight in CFCs this week on the launch of her new song 'Oi You!' which is aimed at combatting global climate change.
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Funny story:  No love lost for Jerry Falwell at Westboro Baptist Church

No love lost for Jerry Falwell at Westboro Baptist Church

Topeka, Kansas - (Ass Mess): Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church is planning his own eulogy at the Reverend Jerry Falwell's funeral later this week in an attempt to settle a few long-running scores and get the last word in at the en...
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Funny story:  Ron Paul Excluded from Future Debates

Ron Paul Excluded from Future Debates

Washington - Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) has been officially excluded from all future Republican Presidential Debates. Paul, who officially entered the race in February of this year, has participated in the first two debates, and was ranked in the to...
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Funny story:  Gordon Ramsay to be Prime Minister

Gordon Ramsay to be Prime Minister

London: It's official - Gordon Ramsay will take over from Tony Blair as Prime Minister in June.
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Funny story:  Kevin Rudd and Dalai Lama to Get Drunk and Talk About Girls

Kevin Rudd and Dalai Lama to Get Drunk and Talk About Girls

Kevin Rudd, the new Australian opposition leader, refused to meet with the Dalai Lama despite launching a scathing attack on Foreign Minister Downer for once doing the same.
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Funny story:  Relatively Speaking

Relatively Speaking

Family - they say you can't live with them, can't sell them as slaves. So how does the average person survive them? There are three keys to maintain your family ties and your sanity. All of these are interrelated, no singular one can survive without the others. They are deception, fake smiling and alibis.
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Funny story:  Harry's War

Harry's War

Whitehall - (Rotters): The news that Prince Harry isn't going to Iraq has been announced by General Sir Richard Donut who admitted the decision had been taken in the light of a number of "specific threats" by the Prince.
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Funny story:  Juneau mayor: "Whatever next,  an earthquake perhaps?"

Juneau mayor: "Whatever next, an earthquake perhaps?"

Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Commenting on the spate of headline-grabbing events centered on Alaskan capital Juneau during the past few weeks Mayor Bruce M Botelho said today he was still reeling from shock but prepared for the worst:...
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Funny story:  Blair has massive erection for Bush!

Blair has massive erection for Bush!

London, RootArse: - Next week the President plays host to the British Prime Minister and it is rumoured that Mr Bush has some gifts awaiting Mr Blair's arrival, but the lesser heard rumour mill is saying that Tony also ha...
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Funny story:  Feds probe Corrupt Bastards' attempt to scuttle Empress for the insurance money

Feds probe Corrupt Bastards' attempt to scuttle Empress for the insurance money

Juneau - (Ass Mess): FBI sources have said that the near capsize of Majestic America's Empress of the North this week may have been a cynical attempt by the Corrupt Bastards Club to scuttle the jinxed and disaster-prone vessel for the in...
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Funny story:  Future British PM Reveals Tip For Success

Future British PM Reveals Tip For Success

Set to become the next Prime Minister of England, Gordon Brown has revealed the secret behing his successful career in politics. Born Mohammad Attah Khan von Ginsberg, at the age of 12, he changed his name by deed po...
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Funny story:  Prince Harry Not To Be Sacrificed After All

Prince Harry Not To Be Sacrificed After All

(London, Eng-er-land, Associated P.A.) The decision to send Prince Harry off to fight in Iraq has been reversed. It was decided this week that the Prince would present too great a security risk for both himself, and other soldiers of...
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Funny story:  Warhol's prescient Diana car crash painting sells for $71.7m

Warhol's prescient Diana car crash painting sells for $71.7m

New Tork - (Ass Mess): A spookily prescient Andy Warhol painting of a car crash reminiscent of the death of Princess Diana has sold for $71.7m at Christie's in New York.
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Funny story:  War-torn Iraq policy facing collapse

War-torn Iraq policy facing collapse

London - (Ass Mess): The Bush Admnistration in Downing Street faces the distinct possibility of 'collapse and fragmentation' according to UK foreign policy stink tank Chatham House.
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Funny story:  Jose's Dog - Missing

Jose's Dog - Missing

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho's pet Yorkshire Terrier Gullit has gone missing following discussions with police over the dog's legality in Britain.
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Funny story:  Paris Hitlon pleads to choose her own cellmate

Paris Hitlon pleads to choose her own cellmate

California - (Ass Mess): Feeling confident after securing a fifty per cent remission on her 45 day sentence for 'good behavior' Paris Hilton is now demanding new conditions prior to entering the 'special needs housing unit' at Century...
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Funny story:  Wolfowitz despondent at Bush deal giving his job to Blair

Wolfowitz despondent at Bush deal giving his job to Blair

Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): As he wakes to the dulcet tones of the DC dawn chorus in the palatial comfort zone of his White House hospitality suite UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is confident his host George Bush has managed to talk World Bank nepoti...
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Funny story:  Anna Nicole's Baby Gets Breast Implants

Anna Nicole's Baby Gets Breast Implants

Howard K Smith announced today that Anna Nicole's love child Hannah, fathered by good guy photographer Larry Birkhead has decided to give the small infant her first set of breast implants.
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Funny story:  French President-Elect in Hot Water Already

French President-Elect in Hot Water Already

Recently inaugurated French President Nicolas Sarkozy was embroiled in his first bru-ha yesterday when election love-rival Sellotape Royale let slip that Sarkozy liked to wear women's underwear...
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Funny story:  Sinister Zombie Worshiping Cult snares billions worldwide!

Sinister Zombie Worshiping Cult snares billions worldwide!

World ASS' PRESS: - There are growing concerns in some circles that a pseudo religion with cult like attributes is brainwashing people into becoming followers. The crazy tin pot cult is leading people to believe...
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Funny story:  Britain to become Fast-food Capital!

Britain to become Fast-food Capital!

Yesterday, the Government revealed plans to boost the nations' economy by opening a burger bar.
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Funny story:  Share blame, share Girlfriend solution works for the World Bank

Share blame, share Girlfriend solution works for the World Bank

Media report after report reported that World Bank president, Mr. Wolfowitz wanted the Board to share blame for controversy over salary raise for his girlfriend. Robert Bennett, his attorney, stated "Mr. Wolfowitz will not leave under a cloud&...
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Funny story:  Falwell from beyond the light

Falwell from beyond the light

The spirit of the late Jerry Falwell made a late night visit to this reporter; either that or it was an undigested bit of gruel. Regardless, Jerry needed to pass on to his many followers, members of the current administration (one and the same), and all practicing (and we do mean practicing) bigots some information from beyond the white light.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton New Jail house Address :) Write Me!

Paris Hilton New Jail house Address :) Write Me!

LYNWOOD, CALIFORNIA (PENAL DIGEST) --Paris Hilton will be trading Prava for a Los Angeles County Jail orange jumpsuit and mug shot. Hilton found guilty on misdemeanor charges of driving without a California Drivers License, will be incarcerated for the next three weeks (Her time behind bars has been shortened). Now that she is doing her time there is no reason you can't write her or send her f...
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Funny story:  Prince Harry Excused From Fighting In Iraq

Prince Harry Excused From Fighting In Iraq

Prince Harry, the son of James Hewitt, will not be sent to fight in Iraq, says the head of the British Army in an announcement made last night from a bunker deep underneath London.
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Funny story:  Marijuiana Leagalized in U.S

Marijuiana Leagalized in U.S

The U.S has decided that Marijuana will in fact be legal. One of the biggest reasons is people need more jobs.
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Funny story:  Depression Caused by Halo 3 Beta

Depression Caused by Halo 3 Beta

The Halo 3 Beta which came with the newly released game Crackdown for Xbox 360 was supposed to be released around 8:00 a.m (Eastern Time). It is believed it may have been the catalyst, causing instantaneous manic depression in teens and adults.
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Funny story:  Dog Gets Million Dollar Verdict in Personal Injury Case

Dog Gets Million Dollar Verdict in Personal Injury Case

A Mississippi jury today awarded a $1.2 Million verdict to a golden retriever named Sparky against Senator Trent Lott in a personal injury case. This is only the third time that a pet has been able to recover pain and suffering damages for personal i...
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Funny story:  God Writes Book About Christopher Hitchens

God Writes Book About Christopher Hitchens

Heaven - Christopher Hitchens the proud and witty Author of "God Is Not Great", was surprised to recieve an autographed copy of a book written by God. Gods book was titled "You're Not So Great Yourself "...
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Funny story:  Blair to plead with Bush over Corrupt Bastard Lord Browne

Blair to plead with Bush over Corrupt Bastard Lord Browne

Washington - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has flown into Washington to plead with George Bush for ex-BP boss Lord Browne not to be extradited to the US to face corruption charges.
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Funny story:  The "Puff the Magic Dragon" code decoded!

The "Puff the Magic Dragon" code decoded!

For many years it was thought that the 1963 chart hit 'Puff the Magic Dragon' was a song about smoking marijuana, "not so" it was revealed yesterday.
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Funny story:  Putin to Tone Down Cold War Rhetoric; Small Arms Race on; US way Ahead

Putin to Tone Down Cold War Rhetoric; Small Arms Race on; US way Ahead

London, England - Russian and US relations have cooled down to the point that many have openly speculated that we are in the midst of entering a new cold war, if we have not already. Comments from Russian President Putin bore that out when in a recen...
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