Spoof news stories from Tuesday 6 March 2007
Ringo or Charlie?
A woman in America has told a local radio station that she is the mother of a girl furthered by Ringo Starr.
10 Things I love about The Spoof!
It is not easy finding something original to write for Tthe Spoof each day but it is darn therapeutic venting all these bottled emotions about the stupid things celebs do!...
Danny does Dallas - Or is it Equus?
What an UPSTANDING young man Harry has turned out to be. Most actors/actresses start off their careers doing "porn" - soft or otherwise, but Daniel Radcliffe waited until he was at his peak (famous and dangerously close to exploding with electrical sexuality) to show the world his "reel" talents on broadway.
Scientists clone Rice with human genes
California - (Rotters): Scientists at the Dead Loss Alamos Laboratory national research center have cloned a human version of US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice according to a secret report leaked out today.
Belkin Wireless Ouija Board Brings Spiritualism into 21st Centuary
As the information technology craze continues to gather momentum, hardware providers Belkin have launched a wireless Ouija board that connects to your PC.
Madonna-Britney Spears Entourage Merger Rocks Business World
In a surprise move, superstar pop idols Madonna and Britney Spears have signed a deal to merge their respective entourages. The resulting conglomeration of personnel, registered under the trade name "Ciccone-Spears Megaposse", is now the la...
Cause of Death Revealed for Rock Star Jimi Hendrix
New information has emerged concerning the circumstances surrounding the untimely death of rock legend Jimi Hendrix on September 18, 1970. The 27-year-old guitarist and singer, who was staying at the time in the London flat of a German girlfriend, Mo...
Superman suit and kinky sex to relieve depression in US Army
Hampton, Virginia - (Ass mess): The US Army's training manual has a hybrid form which is used occasionally to combat fatigue, depression and low self-esteem.
Unlucky Gambler Loses House Playing Monoploy As Dice Refuse To Roll
Fifty- seven year old Malcolm Griffin from Wakefield in Yorkshire has, today, been dubbed, by gamblers across the nation: 'the most unlucky punter to have placed a wager since Nick Leeson'.
Libby jury says he perverted
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): It's a bad day for perverts in the Bush Administration as Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is being hailed a superhero following the jury's guilty verdict on Vice President Dick Cheney's mendacious...
Pre-season Buzkashi
In a rematch of the 06 Championship Game, Kabul scored a late "Break Away" point to overcome a seemingly insurmountable deficit and Defeat Hated Rival He-Rat. The final score being Kabul 1/2 of a Carcass, He-Rat -- 1 Goat Tail + 1 Intestine...
Wikipedia spoofer to join Karl Rove's department
Cyberspace - (Rioters): The Karl Rove fiction factory has a bright new shining star in its firmament today after online fiction peddler Wikipedia had to fire a senior editor whose academic credentials have turned out to be cack.
How To Boot An Ipod That Won't Fix
SILLYCONE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA--(BSTECHNOOZ) There's a conspiracy theory that's being past around that Steve Jobs wants you to buy a new iPod every 6 months.
Miracle Statue Starts Blaspheming
A Statue of Jesus in Beloxi Mississippi reportedly began streaming down obscenities on passers by following the Democratic Victory in last Novembers Election.
Young Scientists Display Lunatic Potential
Scientists have beem amazed at what they have called "true genius thinking" at the 2007 Young Scientists Convention in Little Rock, AR.
George W. Bush Linked To Al Quaeda Conspiracy
A leading delegate and official UN weapons investigator has claimed he has irrefutable evidence linking US President George W. Bush to Al Quaeda.
New Definition Of Torture: Vaginaless Marriage
Experts, after results that show that prisoners who receive poor or degrading treatment suffer just as much as captives who are tortured, announced this morning that they are looking for a new definition of torture this morning.
Cell Phone Addiction
INTERCOURSE, PENNSYLVANIA - A study that concluded last weekend revealed some psychological and sociological effects of cell phone usage. For quite some time there have been questions about a steady stream of microwave radiation placed against our h...
Scientific Breakthrough Excites Boffins
A report in a top scientific journal claims that a new scientific breakthrough has been made that could change the lives of millions of people.
Taxi Driver Acquires The Knowledge, Leaves UK With It
A Muslim taxi driver has sparked a security alert in London after acquiring The Knowledge, and then leaving the country.
Bonesmen Fear the Worst as Human Skull, Bones & Cauldrons Found In Harford County
Condowingo, Maryland - (DissassoCIAted Press): The FBI has discovered human skeletal remains including satanic-looking cauldrons in the wooded area of Belle Manor Road which may have been used in a typical Bonesmen's human sacrifice ritual during...
Bailiffs to seize bankrupt Blairs' goods and chattels
London - (Rioters): Under new legislation going through Parliament bailiffs will at last be able to break into No 10 Drowning Street and distrain property belonging to the bankrupt Tony and Cherie Blair.
Dyspraxia sufferer fails in third suicide bid
Albert Steven's has suffered from dyspraxia for most of his life. He was diagnosed when he was only eight years old and for years has dealt as best he can with this terrible affliction.
Naked Antonella Barba to simulate sex with a goat on American Idol
With the furore over her mucky photo's dying down and veiwing figures for American Idol beginning to slump, it has been decided that in next weeks' show, Antonella will not sing but simulate sex
Ellen Degenerates & Ana Ward to Adopt baby Danielynn Smith
I just wish all this media frenzy would stop over ANS and the baby, IT SHOULD ALL BE OVER NOW. I am now putting a stop to it and updating the world on the latest and hopefully the story will remain buried!!...
WWE Diva's Naked Photos Leaked: She's a Man!
One of the ever popular WWE diva's careers was utterly smashed this morning as amazingly nasty nude photos of him/her "placing a take-out order and twisting delivery into the rear of the building" were released to the p...
ASKFRFRED44GIVENESS - 3/6/07
Bless me Father for I have sinned,it has been a week since my last confession.Father,I am not a catholic but I feel so guilty that I might as well be one or one of those pre-catholics...oh yeah,jews.I continue to kill relatively innocent folks who join my organization because their region of the country has terrible schools and high unemployment-both of which are a direct result of my governmental...
Disney Denies Sexual Symbolism on Latest DVD Cover for SandCastle
From the phallic towers of Little Mermaid to the S-E-X rising dust in Lion King, Disney has been fighting accusations of hidden sexual imagery in its films and advertisements. The perceptive and/or the prurient-minded seem to discover sex, sex, sex,...
Red Sux Reveal New Home Uniforms!
Perennial losers, the Boston Red Sux have decided to take a radical gamble on some new revolutionary uniforms for their home games. Team Owners announced: "We will not go another 80 years before another World Series championship. In the new worl...
Hookhand! Christian Conservatives' Solution to Sin of Masturbation!
In an odd confluence of medicine and religion, Christian conservatives are paying big bucks to have their children's hands replaced with prosthetic hooks.
New Alien Film Explores Multiple Erection Theory!
Alien watchers from New Mexico to Area 51 have been discussing the latest phenomenon from the visitors from other planets. First, it was the blue doctors and their fascination with anal probes that reminded sociologists of San Francisco instead of Al...
New British Invasion has States Lifting Their Skirts!
It's been decades since the first British invasion and coincidentally a new wave of beetles is in the forefront of the 21st Century British re-invasion. This time ther'll be no I wanna hold Your hand or She Loves You. British Beetles(Britanni...
Bush Entertains Old Boys Club!
In a world-wide scandal, W was filmed drawing nudie sketches of Hillary Clinton and various other sexy ladies in the US Government. On-lookers outed in the scandal rushed to cover Bush and their own asses as they were shown to be reveling in the unco...
Walter Reade Theaters to Merge with Walter Reed Hospital
Two pitifully failing old timey American institutions have decided to amalgamate to see if they can rescue their futures. The Walter Reed Hospital admits that under Bush it has basically abandoned the US fighting woman and man. The Walter Reade Theat...
Ten die in Afghan attack
A startling scene of death and chaos was found in the local homeless shelter yesterday morning. After many exhaustive hours of investigation and little evidence to work with, it was determined that the deceased were the victims of afghan attacks. One...
Paris Hilton sex tape shock! It's not actually that good.
A shocking finding was announced today by lonely internet surfer, Jack Kilby.
Angelina Jolie Rescues Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
The old woman "had so many children she didn't know what to do." But Angie knew EXACTLY what to do.
Bush is a 'tool' according to my grandma
According to the highest authority in the land, my grandma, president George W. Bush is a 'tool'.
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