Spoof news stories from Saturday 10 March 2007
Baldrick Finds Romans
Comic actor and excited archaeologist Tony Robinson has uncovered traces of a 2000 year old Roman settlement at Sillybilly Hill in Wiltshire.
Courtroom brawl
A top judge and a lawyer have become involved in a legal punch up, and as they stood toe to toe, the lawyer stood on the judge's toes. In the blue corner, weighing in is Lord Phillips, the Lord Chief Justice, and in the new red corner, weighing i...
South Dakota sensitivity on All American Way of Life show
Rabid City, South Dakota - (Ass Press): Those cheese-eating surrender monkeys the French clearly know a thing or two when it comes to portraying the good old fashioned all-American way of life as lived by the residents of one South Dakota town, Rabid...
Not quite a Ralph Fiennes moment: the Northwest Airlines variation of the mile high club
Minneapolis - (Ass Press): A 20 year old Northwest Airlines employee, Samuel Oscar Gonzalez, is in a lot of trouble for violating the Prime Objective of the Mile High Club rule book.
Democrats to Build Commune
Key Democrats have announced plans to build a Commune on the Great Mall in Washington D.C.
Arm and a leg earns early parole time in South Carolina
Greenville, South Carolina - (Ass Press): Prisoners donating an organ or limb to a State-run body parts donation program will be eligible for an immediate refund on their custodial tariffs according to a South Carolina state senate panel plea-bargain...
PC virus WARNING
A newly found virus which could cause havoc around the worlds PCs has been found to have originated from France.
Creationist brothel discovered on Salisbury Plain
Salisbury, Wilts - (Rotters): Fundamentalist creationist nutters settled in the foothills of Stonehenge and ran brothels on the site of the pre-Romano English sacred monument according to the latest archaeological discoveries centered on the 130ft n...
Nude Antonella Barba photo's 'destroyed' life of popular journalist.
Spoof writer and international humanitarian, Breeze, was undergoing radical elctro-shock therapy last night, after a breakdown.
TheSpoof.com Exclusive - The Breeze Story - One man's epic journey of self-belief, discovery and ultimate salvation
'What is a man ? what has he got ? if not himself.' The words of Frank Sinattra's 'My Way' could have been written about Breeze, writer, scholar, humanitarian and friend to the stars.
Pissed as a Newt admits to Lewinsky affair
Washington DC - (ReuterUs): Former Republican Speaker of the House of Representatives Newt Gingrich has admitted that he was drunk when screwing Monica Lewinsky during his Congress campaign that impeached Bill Clinton.
Hugo Chavez taunts Bush
Buenos aries- Amid the adoring crowds and waving red flags of the Boca juniors stadium; President Hugo Chavez gleefully taunted his bitter ideological rival (The falsely elected "President" George W Bush)...
Jesus H. Castro
Fidel Castro, was he your man? That is a question that might determine where you get to later, after life in this mortal world.
Happy Motoring
Bayonne, NJ - This weekend a group of top management from the oil production companies had a meeting to discuss the future of fossil fuel refinement in the USA. They held a press conference when they were done.
Cook County bans cattle prod approach to good parenting
Cook County - (Rioters): In a landmark ruling a judge at the Cook County District Court has ruled that cattle prods are inefficient means of promoting good parenting skills after federal legislation downgraded the voltage capacity last year on standa...
Mayan priests cleanse archeological site where Bush on Latin American tour will visit
Using herbs, poultices, incense and water from the cave of the dead in Belize, Mayan priests in Guatemala are cleansing the sacred cite where the evil Bush is scheduled to visit. They are also performing a centuries old ritual called paper soaking.
Church Foetus Tango Deal
Charlotte Church's foetus has become a millionaire by agreeing to star in soft drink giant 'Tango' adverts.
Feral bear attacks in New York hit epidemic proportions.
This young bear looks as though butter wouldn't melt in it's mouth but don't be decieved by the angeletic face and cuddly exterior, for this bear is a KILLER!!!...
"Racism? I Was In The Army!" Storms Mercernary
Patrick Mercernary, the ex-Tory minister at the centre of the disgraceful racism allegations, spoke out yesterday against his sacking by Conservative leader David Camelot.
Sony PS3 Game Is Big Hit With Hairstylists
The latest offering in the Sony Playstation 3 catalogue is released on general sale today, but has already been advance-booked until the end of the year.
El Salvador woman wins Most Overdue Death of the Year award
A woman believed to be one of the oldest living people in history died yesterday at the age of 128, the equivalent of two pensioners. Cruz Hernandez was born May 3 1878, the year Thomas Edison patented the phonograph and just one of the years Britain...
Shevchenko Denies Rift, Says He and Mourinho Do Each Other's Hair and Gossip About Girls.
Rumours of a rift between Chelsea's manager Jose Mourinho and his overpriced, under performing, burden on the rest of the team, striker, Andriy Shevchenko are completely untrue according to Shevchenko.
Col. Mercer Claims:"I loved those black bastards!"
Former Col. Patty Mercer, the Black Patty of the Sherwood Foresters, has been forced to resign from Parliament for his attribution of race as an explanation of laziness among soldiers of color.
Plot was uncovered!
New Haven, Connecticut - Today a plot was uncovered to assassinate US President George Bush. The government has obscured much of the facts, but one of our reporters discovered that Vice President Cheney and former President George H. W. Bush and for...
Terrence George Adams...A Corleone...Fughetaboutit!
British papers are claiming that "Godfather" TG Adams has gone to jail for laundering crime profits close to a million pounds.
Poor Dick's Almanac (cuntinued)
* There are no pains without gains, especially when it comes to booty sex
* At the working man's house, hunger looks in but dares not enter. At the working girl's house, hunger enters but leaves poorer!...
God Ends His Silence On The Van Halen Controversy. "It's All Eddie's Fault!"
After many years and many conflicting verdicts from the Court of Public Opinion, none other than God Almighty has decided to weigh in on the 25 year-long Van Halen saga with a final decision.
US Government can't be worried about that Geneva thing.
The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, also known as the Immigration and Naturalization Service or INS has claimed that they can't be held accountable for old treaties that some old guys signed years ago.
Simon To Quit American Idol?
Sources say American Idol judge Simon Cowell is contemplating leaving the popular program.
Jack Bauer of "24" hired for security at Chuck E. Cheese
Jack Bauer, the volatile and unpredictable federal agent on Fox's hit show "24", has been hired to provide security at the Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Sheboygan, Wisc.
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Antonella Barba, Not Naked Today. Media Forced To Report News.
In a rare, and boring, day for media and lonely internet surfers, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Antonella Barba have managed to stay completely covered up.
Carrie Underwood Goes Rap
Hollywood CA, Carrie Underwood, 2006 American Idol winner and triple platinum country artist has gone hip hop.
Bloodsucking nightmare in Arkansas
Have you ever woken up in the morning with no idea how the highly affectionate sex crazed creature who's been sharing your bed all night came to be there? Rose M. Pagley-Brown of Siloam Springs, Arkansas, claims this is what happened to her when...
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