Spoof news stories from Thursday 1 March 2007
Kinky Cameron student photo is banned
London - (Rotters): Oswald Mosley lookalike and wannabe UK Prime Monster David Cameron has banned the media from using a 'kinky' photograph of himself dressed as a schoolboy taken twenty years ago when he was a fledgeling hitman for UK Prime...
EXCLUSIVE - George W. Bush Makes Address to New Orleans
Late Thursday night, President George W. Bush addressed the nation, after being pressed for more information on his plans for the gulf.
New Dead Sea Scrolls Shocker: Jesus not son of God! John Inman outed!
In the Dead Sea, yet more scrolls were found this week. Some of them were apparently written by Jesus himself aged 30, where he controversially denies that he is the son of God.
USA refuses to give up nuclear weapons
The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Syrian President Bashar al-Assad have called on nations around the world to join in opposition to the USA's nuclear activities.
Charlotte Church : Pregnant
"Voice of an angel...morals of a choirmaster" was the quote from shoppers in Cardiff today as Charlotte Church announced that she was expecting Gavin Henson's child.
Ultimate Vegetarian Restaurant Opens in Paris
Nutritionists have long recognized that a vegetarian diet is generally healthier than a meat-based diet. Some even claim that the human digestive system is more naturally disposed to digesting vegetables than meat. Still, we lack one important feat...
Petrol contamination in breast inplants shock
A number of women in the South of England have been experiencing problems with new breast implants.
Popular Fox Show Spawns ABC Copy: "Are You Taller Than A 5th Grader?"
Are you a contestant and/or viewer of "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" and you're too dumb to answer the questions? ABC has the solution for you. "Are you taller than a 5th grader?" has f...
Syrian Cartoon Claims Lindsay Lohan Muslim; U.S. Six-Year Olds Riot!
(New York, NY) Syrian United Nations Ambassador Imad Moustapha was quick to say "how does it feel when the Persian slipper is on the other foot" after a group of twenty-five six-year olds overturned five Hasbro electric cars and set fire to...
96 Year Old Mobster Pleads Guilty
96 year old former mobster for the infamous Genovese crime family, Albert "The Old Man" Facchiano, whose arrest record dates back 75 years, used a cane in court and needed a head-set to hear questions from District Judge James Cohn as he pl...
Lord Lucan found in Highlands
Lord Lucan has been found alive and well and living at a Nature Park in Scotland. This time as a red squirrel.
Bush announces "War on reading"
Washington DC- President George W Bush today proudly announced his administrations new vote winning inititive that is sure to rival the already popular "War on terror".
Church is pregnant
Vatican City -(ReUterus): The Pontifical Orifice for Miracles has proclaimed today that the Church is pregnant and expecting a happy event just before Christmas Day this year.
Wenger Slams 'Pontius Pilate' Linesman
Arsenal manager and Frenchman, Arsene Wenger, slammed the linesman in last weekend's Carling Cup Final exit, comparing him to "Pontius Pilate", the man who betrayed Christ. Wenger spoke of "the betraya...
Virgie Arthur wants son of Jesus bones burial in Texas
West Palm Beach - (Rioters): In a surprise legal move today Anna Nicole Smith's mother Virgie Arthur is attempting to sue for possession of the skeleton allegedly belonging to the son of Jesus and Mary Magdalen that were discovered by Titani film...
Turner masterpiece to stay in the UK
Drowning Street, London - (Riotous): One of the best pieces of fabrication ever produced by an official advisor to a British Prime Monster has been saved for the nation today following an announcement that Ruth Turner's complex matrix of emails,...
What ever happened to the cast of the indie film, "Soap Girl"?
Whatever happened to the cast of "Soap Girl" which played at the Laemmle Fairfax Theater in 2001 and at the Wallace Arthouse Theater in Hawaii in 2002 for an unprecedented four week run before it finally closed down?...
Potato found in sack of grenades
Palermo - (Rotters): Fugitive CIA agents wanted by the the Rome Prosecutor to stand trial for a series of illegal kidnappings of Italian citizens were shocked today to discover an earth-encrusted potato in their weekly sack of live hand grenades whic...
Global Warming Affects Hunting: Hunters Demand That it Stops
A group announced Thursday that effects of global warming are beginning to be seen in the hunting of the Inuits.
Wiccans warn lunar eclipse spells trouble for Anna Nicole burial
Bahamas - (ReUterus): The Nassau Earth Mysteries Coven has issued its sternest warning yet that Saturday's Lunar eclipse cuts across strategic astrological lines in Anna Nicole Smith's natal chart...
Naked Antonella Barba or how America turned dignity into a cesspit of sordid filth
Idol - *noun* - an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship (as defined by the Oxford English dictionary).
Van Halen Cancels Concert Tour; Wall Street and Stockmarket in Tailspin
Stockbrokers and commodities dealers were devastated by the news that an, earlier announcements stating, Van Halen would be doing a forty city tour this summer, was premature.
Izzy Wizzy lets get busy! Sooty and Sweep in Paris Hilton sex tape shame.
Sooty, the little yellow bear with the black ears so beloved by children all over Britain, was fighting for his career last night after featuring on an internet sex video.
Man Seen Urinating Into Supermarket Petrol Tanker - Police Investigating
Two supermarkets have insisted that their petrol is not faulty after millions of owners complained that their vehicles exploded.
Paris Hilton Gets Busted After Three Day Celebration with Al Gore
Hollywood legend was made yesterday when Paris Hilton was arrested for driving without a license by the LAPD. Her $180,000 Bentley was impounded at the scene.
Now its official -- Britney's stories in 'The Spoof' are true!
The news agency Rooters, issued a warning today that breaking news reports were being rubbished by a top 'spoof site'.
New York City Bans the Word Nigger
NEW YORK, NEW YORK--(ROLAIDS) The City Council unanimously passed a symbolic moratorium which carries a stiff penalty against having the word "Nigger" spoken within the city limits. "We have got to, as a society, start...
Britney 'Spears' man in hand - Not assault, cry for help
Bald, bad, Britney has struck again, this time injuring a man in what has been described by her publicist as 'a classic cry for help'.
"England World Cup? Not In My Lifetime", Rasps Blatter
The World Cup will never again be staged in England if FIFA President Pratt Bleeps has his way.
Funny Man Dies Laughing
A comedian, who was allegedly the funniest man in Britain, has died aged 65, doing the thing that he did best - laughing.
George Bush Announces Removal of Troops From Iraq: PSYCHE!
George Bush called a meeting of congress early Thursday to let them know of his decision to remove all American troops in Iraq, directly after which he yelled:...
Three-Quarters of a Million Homeless in USA
In a nation of 300 million winners, we learned that the number of losers is creeping dangerously close to a million! When the US Census counted the notoriously tough to enumerate hobos their population almost hit the million mark! One-third unlucky,o...
IRA : We were better than Al Qa'ida
Belfast- Today on the steps of the historic Stormont castle, seat of the Northern Ireland assembly, Gerry Adams leader of the IRA's political wing, Sinn Fein, declared from his beard to waiting reporters that he had an important communique from t...
Antonella Barba Nude Photos - NJPD Needs More Time
Ever since the Antonella Barba nude pictures have been released, the New Jersey Police Department has been hard on the job finding out whether or not they're fake or not.
Film on Joyce Hatto under way
Scott Hicks director of the movie "Shine" has begun filming a docu-drama on the life and recent news making scandals of British concert pianist Joyce Hatto.
Friends reunited?
Hollywood- Do you miss settling down on your still to be paid for sofa with a bottle of cheap wine, and being forced by your girlfriend to watch six relentlessly chirpy studio mannequins?...
Britney Spears "the bald soprano" will sing with the Boston Symphony
Pop diva Britney Spears will do a concert with the Boston Symphony this weekend. Critics say that the concert is a last-ditch effort for the pop princess to look more mature and sophisticated and may be just another publicity stunt for the 25-year-ol...
Photography Experts Determine Nude Photos of American Idol Contestant Were Faked
American Idol contestant Antonella Barba can relax and try to sing. Photographic Experts from the L.A. Police Department's Crime Lab have determined that nude pictures of her posted on the internet were actually faked.
In converstation, David Shu...
Archaeologists Study Alleged Jesus Bones Found By James Cameron
Archaeologists from the American University in Jerusalem and the Israeli Antiquities Authority have concluded their study of the supposed Jesus bones discovered by James Cameron. Cameron, the filmmaker of such movies as Titanic, believes that he has...
Stoned Civil War re-enactor thought to suffer excited delirium syndrome; real gun shot instead
Civil War re-enactors near Sharpsburg, Maryland were charging up a hill and firing on Union troops defending their ground when all of a sudden Maj. General, Thomas "Stoned well" Jackson fell off of his horse and slipped into a state of shoc...
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