Funny story:  Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes......

Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes......

Manchester - (Ass Mess): Sometimes I fell so crappy, sometimes I feel so bad....
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Funny story:  Venus in Leo, Conjunction Saturn: end of Whore on Terra

Venus in Leo, Conjunction Saturn: end of Whore on Terra

The Cosmos - (Ass Mess): The reign of Bush's Whore on Terra may be all but over as July begins with the fiery lesser benefic planet Venus in supreme conjunction with the zodiac's taskmaster Saturn at 22 degrees Leo.
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Funny story:  Mile-high brothel launched

Mile-high brothel launched

The Cosmos - (Rotters): The first experimental mile-high brothel has been launched using inflatable technology first developed by NASA.
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Funny story:  WV Police Storm Troopers Get Wrong Address

WV Police Storm Troopers Get Wrong Address

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - RIPLEY, WV - Ripley Storm Trooper Police and sheriff officers stormed 12 Tanglewood Village and brutalized an elderly disabled man today. The police came with guns drawn and screamed for the man to come out. The man repeatedl...
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Funny story:  Terror cops cancel Diana concert

Terror cops cancel Diana concert

Wembley Stadium - (Ass Mess): As the UK terrorism alert was raised to the highest 'critical' status short of 'imminent incoming airborne missile fired by Vladimir Putin' anti-terror police have warned the uber-tacky Diana concert at W...
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Funny story:  Surgeons Amputate Man's Head

Surgeons Amputate Man's Head

Los Angeles: In an astonishing indictment of the state of American medical care, a 44 year old man from Santa Monica, CA was accidentally decapitated by his surgeons.
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Funny story:  The Wizard of Oz should be rated 'R'

The Wizard of Oz should be rated 'R'

Children should not be watching The Wizard of Oz. It teaches them all the wrong lessons! People are under the mistaken belief that Dorothy is the good guy, whereas, in reality, Dorothy is the bad guy!...
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Funny story:  Nicole Richie Off Her Tahitian Noni Juice

Nicole Richie Off Her Tahitian Noni Juice

BREAKING NEWS (Exclusive Gossip) - "I need to knock out a kid real fast." said Nicole "Wrong Way - Go Back" Richie. "Judges don't like to put little mommies in prison, do they?"...
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Funny story:  TheSpoof.com Writer Celebrates One Month Without Compensation, Ponders Sitting on Tookis

TheSpoof.com Writer Celebrates One Month Without Compensation, Ponders Sitting on Tookis

The Beach - After a positively persnickety first month at, by far, the worst-paying job he has ever held, young SpaceElevator is contemplating 'early retirement'. Sources close to the contributor of questionable gossip suggest that he dreams...
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Funny story:  Cop Gets Job From Porn Star, Then Loses His Job

Cop Gets Job From Porn Star, Then Loses His Job

Porn "actress" Barbie Cummings of Blacks on Blondes fame, tried turning an old trick to get out of a speeding ticket by performing oral sex on the officer who stopped her. Tennessee Trooper James Moss was then fired by the Tennesse...
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Funny story:  Vice President Dick Cheney Ordered Media Blackout on Ron Paul

Vice President Dick Cheney Ordered Media Blackout on Ron Paul

ABS News Agency - Radio talk show host, and investigator Alex Jones claims he has copies of documents proving that Vice President Dick Cheney, who prefers to be called "Dark Star" by his subordinates, issued orders to the FBI and CIA to enf...
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Funny story:  Marriage Down, Bonking Up

Marriage Down, Bonking Up

New figures show a remorseless dive in the numbers of UK marriages and a massive increase in the birth of babies outside of wedlock.
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Funny story:  Eddie Murphy to play 'Mr. Mom' while Scary Spice goes on reunion tour with girlfriends

Eddie Murphy to play 'Mr. Mom' while Scary Spice goes on reunion tour with girlfriends

Hollywood, California - Just a week after the DNA test Eddie Murphy's took to determine if he was the father of Scary Spice's baby girl, and just after the Spice Girls announced their 11 city reunion tour, Murphy is reportedly accompanying Sc...
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Funny story:  One million year old tooth proves that diet coke was invented in Europe

One million year old tooth proves that diet coke was invented in Europe

An undecayed, one million year old human tooth, found in northern Spain's Burgos Province, proves that the world's first diet cola was invented in Europe and not as had been previously thought in America, in 1964 by Pepsi Cola.
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Funny story:  FDA orders recall of 'Veggie Booty' children's snacks; may cause gastrointestinal illness

FDA orders recall of 'Veggie Booty' children's snacks; may cause gastrointestinal illness

Washington, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) finally took action against the makers of the Booty line healthy food snacks with the obscene, offensive, and sexually suggestive names, according to conservative family value groups.
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Funny story:  Lewis Hamilton Arrested For Speeding

Lewis Hamilton Arrested For Speeding

World Motor Racing Championship leader Lewis Hamilton has been arrested in France only hours before tomorrow's French Grand Prix.
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Funny story:  Seventh Harry Potter Book shockers

Seventh Harry Potter Book shockers

JK Rowling likes to surprise us, but this surprise may rupture your spinal chords (our terribly mundane readers may consult their dictionaries for this term). Get ready to get the air knocked out of your lungs by the seventh book in the Harry Potter series. Joanne gave a glimpse of the 7th book to our reporter and this is what he has reported.
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Funny story:  Build An Ark, Says Weatherman

Build An Ark, Says Weatherman

The recent unseasonal bad weather across the UK has prompted weather experts to offer some astounding advice to the public as a way of dealing with the conditions.
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Funny story:  Lineker fails to score with cook Ramsay

Lineker fails to score with cook Ramsay

Former England hero Gary Lineker appeared on celebrity chef Gordon Ramsays' the "F Word" last week to show whether or not his culinary talents were as good as his penalty box skills.
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Funny story:  Man Discovered Stuck in Sewer Pipe for 40 Years!

Man Discovered Stuck in Sewer Pipe for 40 Years!

APE Line - Corning, New York - It was a quiet day for Etta Smith, age 72, of Corning, New York, except for the noise of a backhoe working in her front yard. Officials here today made an amazing discovery.
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Funny story:  Newsreader  'Blazing' In Paris Hilton Protest

Newsreader 'Blazing' In Paris Hilton Protest

A US newsreader has attempted to set fire to herself in a protest against having to read out news about celebrity jailbird Paris Hilton ahead of the war in Iraq.
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Funny story:  Paris gets vagina insured!

Paris gets vagina insured!

New york (the hot-shot pub): The last time we saw Paris Hilton, she was a preacher on "Larry King's Alive", stating all the lines she read in the bible, including the part that she felt was truly "hot". But no...
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Funny story:  London Car Bombs Aimed At Gay Pride Festival, Maybe - Police

London Car Bombs Aimed At Gay Pride Festival, Maybe - Police

Police investigating the two car bombs planted in Central London yesterday say that the Gay Pride festival could have been a target for the bombers.
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Funny story:  ICANN Working on Internet Addresses -- But CAN China Wait?

ICANN Working on Internet Addresses -- But CAN China Wait?

San Juan, Puerto Rico (Reuterus) - Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), the non-profit organization responsible for global coordination of the internet's system of unique identifiers, has announced that a new ".asia&q...
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Funny story:  CIA's 'Family Jewels' to go on Tour

CIA's 'Family Jewels' to go on Tour

US and A (The Scallion) - A new traveling display of past CIA illegal activities entitled "Family Jewels... The Exhibition" will begin touring the world this summer -- exposing the darkest nooks and crannies of the agency's illegal cove...
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Funny story:  Bush and Putin Reach Agreement to Renew Nuclear Arms Race

Bush and Putin Reach Agreement to Renew Nuclear Arms Race

Kennebunkport, Maine - After a long day of angry debate, bellicose posturing and fierce name-calling, Vladimir Putin and George Bush met together in the evening, in private, to share warm hugs, and to toast the success of their summit meeti...
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Funny story:  'Marilyn 29' Named As Soviet Spy

'Marilyn 29' Named As Soviet Spy

The government has been rocked by a sensational spy scandal, with former MI5, MI6 and Rotherham United goalkeeper Marilyn 29 being named as the 'mole' at the centre.
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Funny story:  Michael Nifong's Defense:  Wild Hare Toxic Shock Syndrome

Michael Nifong's Defense: Wild Hare Toxic Shock Syndrome

North Carolina - Michael Nifong, the former District Attorney of Durham County, North Carolina, put forward a curious but unenviable defense regarding his unfair targeting of three Duke University lacrosse players for allegedly raping a stripper in 2...
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Funny story:  Rx for Crabby Ann Coulter: "Get Laid"

Rx for Crabby Ann Coulter: "Get Laid"

Dr. Phillip, French psychiatrist and author of the best selling book, "Why The Nuns are Crabby", stated today that conservative potty-mouth piece, Ann Coulter, would be much happier and less cranky if she could just get "laid".
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Funny story:  Roger Federer Reveals Secret Match Preparations!

Roger Federer Reveals Secret Match Preparations!

APE Line - Roger Federer, who has once again not dropped a set so far at Wimbledon, admitted he has a somewhat unusual pre-match preparation. No he doesn't sleep with pyramids under his bed. He doesn't have magnetic underwear, though he admit...
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Funny story:  Britney Spears endorses new Karaoke 3000 series machine by Sony

Britney Spears endorses new Karaoke 3000 series machine by Sony

Tokyo, Japan - Sony executive were pleased to announce that had just signed on Britney Spears as their leading endorser of their new 3000 series Karaoke machine today. Britney was supposed to roll out there new product line at a live music concert wi...
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Funny story:  Spice Girls Reunion Tour Dates and Ticket Information Announced

Spice Girls Reunion Tour Dates and Ticket Information Announced

The Spice Girls, a 90's girl group, have announced plans for a reunion concert tour. The thirteen city winter tour will cover North America, Europe, Asia, and the Pacific Islands.
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Funny story:  Fred Thompson Gets Law & Order Support in Possible Presidential Bid

Fred Thompson Gets Law & Order Support in Possible Presidential Bid

The support is coming from co-star Sam Waterston, who has played executive assistant district attorney Jack McCoy for many years on the long-running TV show.
View 'Fred Thompson Gets Law & Order Support in Possible Presidential Bid'
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