Spoof news stories from Thursday 21 June 2007
The Spoof stems incursion of offensive material
What might be called a denial of service attack by writers for TheSpoof.com, countless articles on potentially banned topics have been submitted to the site.
Boscastle Floods Again - Public Loses Interest
The Cornish fishing village of Boscastle has once again been hit by devastating floods which have washed away cars, homes, villages and once again, the Post Office cat.
Big Brother Liam Wins Enough Money to Buy Newcastle
In a startling twist to the Big Brother saga one lucky housemate became the recipient of £100,000 pounds yesterday-on a whim!...
West Midlands Police Hunt For Missing Flying Pig
Police are urgently appealing for any information whatsoever after several kids in a phonebox rang through and reported seeing a flying pig over Birmingham this afternoon.
"The Spoof" Sale In Doubt
An agreed sale of Web newspaper "The Spoof" to a consortium of its top writers is in danger of collapsing.
Senator Ted Stevens named Godfather of Corrupt Bastards Club
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Mystery stil surrounds the enigma of how Alaska's Senator Ted Stevens became the Corrupt Bastards Club official Godfather despite a rash of news coverage in the US this week focusing on "an embittered psychopath w...
Cherie Blair hired by lapdancing club
London - (Ass Mess): Cherie Blair has been hired by the Spearmint Rhino lapdancing club according to reports claiming she has shed 50lbs off her ass and had a face transplant.
Bush Wants To Run Again In 2008
(MUSICMAN PRESS) George W. Bush looks to make history, again. Mr. President announced today his interest in running for President once more, in 2008.
Shock: Two Women Detained In "Cigarette City"
CONSTITUTION, SC - Otherwise known as "Cigarette City" by its locals because of the city's ban on non-smokers in its restaurants and bars, Constitution, SC has become a haven for free-thinkers and constitutionalists from across the coun...
Paris Hilton is Home Free... Again!
(MUSICMAN PRESS) Pop icon and celebrity Paris Whitney Hilton 20, was released from prison yesterday on the grounds that she had an unmentioned medical complication that prohibited her from serving the remainder of her sentence, of forty-five days. Hi...
Military's meditation program under fire for brainwashing
Implemented in 1992 to accomodate soldiers complaining of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the Army's Relaxing Environmental Visualization (REV) program proved effective at reducing the horrible flashbacks and other symptoms.
Protesting without, er, protesting
Campaigners failed to stage a stunt in front of the Queen when nine arrests were made before Trooping the Colour.
General: Army's new uniforms gonna kick butt
Soldiers of the future should get used to breathing filtered air. Air quality in war zones has grown to debilitating levels due to radioactive materials from allied ordnance.
Community service may be completed in Iraq
Judges have been given the go ahead to give defendents receiving more than 100 hours of community service the option of being shipped to Iraq to complete their sentence. Other charges and fines may also be dropped or greatly reduced.
U.S. backyard birds on decline-shot down 50%
Based on a new National Audubon Society study, twenty of the most common North American birds, such as the field sparrow, snow bunting, meadowlark, Northern bobwhite, and whippoorwill, are drastically dead.
Paris Hilton's Release Monday, Neighbors Brace for Impact
Paris Hilton is set to be released on Monday from the Lynwood Correctional Facility where she's been doing her time.
China new Long March rocket to increase to 15 inches
World News (China desk)-- The China National Space Administration (CNSA) announced Monday, June 21, 2007, that its series of Long March rockets would increase from 9.5 to 15 inches.
Symbian Trojan Sends Premature Ejaculation SMS
SophosLabs has warned Nokia Series 60 and other Symbian mobile device users of a Trojan that sends a premature ejaculation SMS to a user every 15 seconds.
Paparazzi Seek Psycho Help Over Paris
The paparazzi pack is hurting, and hurting bad. Many have sought psychotherapy to help them cope with NPPS -- 'No Paris Photo Syndrome.'...
No one farts at Google
With various organisations and nations setting goals for reducing their carbon footprint over a period of years or even decades, Google is getting stuck in with a plan to achieve carbon neutrality in six months...
Indians use old chip shop oil to power cellphone network
Ericsson and Indian cellular network operator, Idea Cellular, have built four cellular base stations powered by generators running off 'biodiesel', fuel locally produced from old cooking oil from chip shops.
Portuguese international star Deco could be going to newly promoted Sunderland FC
Reports from Sunderland FC claims that Portuguese midfielder, Deco, could be playing in a red and white shirt next season.
ESA needs guinea pigs for Mars trip
Today (EST)--Europa News-- The European Space Agency is calling for guinea pigs to take part in a trip to Mars.
Demand for iPhone 26 strong in US, UK and iPod base
Apple would be well justified in anticipating a successful iPhone launch based on new survey. According to Seattle-based mobiles market analyst firm M:Metrics, as many as 19 Americans would be interested in owning an iPhone.
British sex workers healthier plying their trade in neighbours homes
British sex workers have been told to get off the streets and into their neighbours homes, when the neighbours are out.
New computer operating system finally given a name
It was announced today by the "insanely successful"(c) American based software company, Conngianulated Software(tm) or as it's more popularly known ConnSoft(tm) had finally decided on a name for it's next version of its "non monopolistic and open source" (tm) operating system...
Wal-Mart Buys Mexico
Mexico City) - Giant retailer, Wal-Mart, has acquired the country of Mexico for the retail price of $7.88 (163 pesos).
Prescott Named Fattest
Today, it was announced that deputy PM and happy shopper lard spokesman John Prescott was named "World's Fattest Northerner", beating Cyril Smith, Chubby Brown and a capsized blue whale found near Barnsley.
MyMossad Monthly goes topless
Tel Aviv - (Ass Mess): The Israeli security/intelligence service in-house journal MyMossad Monthly has gone topless in a recruitment drive to attract a beefier type of male into the renowned spooks' agency.
Anna Nicole Smith death-room 'was hexed by shaman'
Miami - (Rioters): The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino room where ill-fated Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith met her untimely death in February this year may have been hexed by a shaman according to new evidence.
New Cameron documentary to reveal Holy Grail's burial secrets
Rome - (Rotters): Tomb of Jesus documentary maker James Cameron has been commissioned to film excavations for the Holy Grail - the wine goblet allegedly used by Jesus at the Last Supper - which an Italian archaeologist claims is buried under the 6th...
Court rules the dead can incorporate
San Francisco - In a mixed decision a Federal court decided yesterday that a person can have the same rights as a corporation, setting up likely conflicts for years to come. The ruling "attempts to right the imbalance of power c...
Andy Murray A Certainty For Wimbledon, And Will Win, Says Coach Brad Gilbert
Andy Murray will definitely play at Wimbledon, and stands as good a chance of winning the Men's Singles title as anyone else, says his coach.
Not enough Polish Nazis in EU claims Kaczynski
Warsaw - (Ass Mess): Poland's Prime Monster Jaroslaw Kaczynski has complained bitterly that assorted European Union Nazis and fascists outgun Polish right wing bastards 5-1 in the European Union and that it's all Adolf Hitler's fault.
Beware of Deadly Beach Sand Holes
According a recent report in the "New England Journal of Medicine" more people have been killed at beaches by sand holes than by sharks.
Declined Credit Cards Could Land You in Jail
(Crappers) New federal law now sign by the president makes attempted purchases with declined cards a felony. Now, shopping at any store and pay with worthless plastic cards, or rubber checks will bring out the store security. Arrests will be made and...
Video simulates 9/11 attacks
A research team at Purdue University has developed a 3D simulation of the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center. Their research is a culmination of a 2 1/2 year study into the attacks with the hope of aiding engineers in the design of safer...
What's in it for you, Carter?
Former American and one time President Jimmy Carter is now a spokesman for Hamas.
Garlic - Cure for Aids?
Santosh-nagar (Bum-Bay): After years of research and much hard work, the Indian AIDS (Acquired Intestinal Disorder Syndrome) Ass-ociation (IAA) has approved a much widely used "medicine" as the cure for AIDS.
Who is the real Geoffrey Archer
24 May 2007
Geoffrey Archer
Via Email
Dear Sir
I am your biggest fan and have read all of your books. Not...
Money spinner
21 June 2007
Alan Johnson
Secretary of State for Education and Skills
Department for Education and Skills
Sanctuary Buildin...
Amorous Bulldog
12 June 2007
John Prescott
Office of the Deputy Prime Minister
26 Whitehall
London
SW1A 2WH
England
D...
Global warming scares
14 June 2007
Purbeck District Council
Westport House
Worgret Road
Wareham
Dorset
BH20 4PP
Dear Sir
Justice? What justice?
20 June 2007
Charles Falconer
Ministry of Justice
Selborne House
54 Victoria Street
London
SW1E 6QW
Dea...
The Falcon has Landed
1 June 2007
Charles Leslie Falconer
The Lord Chancellor, Baron Falconer of Thoroton, PC, QC
The Lord Chancellor's Office
BBC Fat Cats on Weed?
20 June 2007
Lorraine Heggessey
British Broadcasting Corporation
20 - 21 Newman Street
London
W1T 1PG
England
Octogenarians Unite
20 June 2007
Test Valley Borough Council
Beech Hurst
Weyhill Road
Andover
Hampshire
SP10 3AJ
Dear Sir
Tough lie in the rough
12 June 2007
The English Golf Union
The National Golf Centre
Woodhall Spa
Lincolnshire
LN10 6PU
England
Lingerie Man Rejects MBE Offer
Joseph Corre, the co-founder of the lingerie brand Agent Provocateur, has refused to accept his MBE, saying that he finds Prime Minister Tony Bliar "morally corrupt".
Tony Blair To Honour Bevin Boys/Soldiers With Special Honours
Thousands of conscripts who were stuffed down coalmines during World War II will receive a 'special honour' for their endeavours, outgoing Prime Minister Tony Bliar has said.
TV Networks To Reduce Broadcast Hours
(New York) - The major 24-hour cable TV news networks have bowed to public pressure to stop reporting unimportant, non-national news stories. According to viewers, just because there is a picture or a video of an event, or a reporter nearby, doesn...
Reggie Theus New Sacramento Kings Head Basketball Coach
The Sacramento Kings have been in existence in Sacramento for only 23 seasons. Reggie Theus was announced today as their 21st head coach. Considering that one coach led the team for eight seasons, longevity is not sure thing for this club.
Identity Theives De-Fraud Herman Munster
Herman Munster is the latest victim of identity theft. His social security number, mastercard number, and birthdate were all used by an overseas company to illegally purchase computer and entertainment supplies. Then, all of their bank accounts wer...
Adam Pacman Jones In Trouble For Ankle Biting
Adam "Pacman" Jones of the Tennessee Titans football team of the NFL is in trouble (again). Jones is accused of biting a bar bouncer on the ankle during a fight and shooting in February. He faces two felony counts for the incident.
PM Blair gets UN Job as Ambassador for Stirring Up Trouble
Tony Blair has accepted an offer by the United Nations to be the newly created Ambassador for Stirring Up Trouble, it has been disclosed.
|
| Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | ||||||||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||
Mailing List
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!