Funny story:  2008 U.S. Presidential Election Cancelled

2008 U.S. Presidential Election Cancelled

(Washington) - The U.S. presidential election of 2008 has been cancelled due to lack of interest. The American electorate is highly unmotivated to vote in 2008 and both Democrat and Republican parties admit they do not have any viable candidate to p...
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Funny story:  Australia/US Scramjet Launch successful - but collisions are on the rise

Australia/US Scramjet Launch successful - but collisions are on the rise

Somewhere in the Australian outback (Wired News) - On Friday, a team with the Hypersonic Collaborative Australia/United States Experiment launched a 'scramjet' for the first time.
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Funny story:  Ex-KGB spook Oleg Gordievsky gets gong for Plutonium 210 scam

Ex-KGB spook Oleg Gordievsky gets gong for Plutonium 210 scam

London - (Rioters): In a fit of unprecedented exuberant imbecility top Buckingham Palace Puppet Monarch muff-diver Sir Robert Janvrin put the name of ex-KGB colonel Oleg Gordievsky for a Queen's Birthday Honors knighthood after learning that he w...
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Funny story:  Tehran says Salman Rushdie got knighthood gong for services to Mossad

Tehran says Salman Rushdie got knighthood gong for services to Mossad

Tehran, Iran - (As Mess): Exterior Ministry officials in Iran have laughed off the knighthood awarded to Satanic Curses author Salman Rushdie as a typical knee-jerk gong award for services to Mossad.
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Funny story:  Abortion provider caught twinning embryos

Abortion provider caught twinning embryos

(Seattle, WA) Joe Smith worked out of his apartment providing what many are calling "hanger abortions" on whoever had the money, say local authorites. A raid uncovered a substantial collection of embryonic tissue.
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Funny story:  Qatari royal family tossers stitched up over UK investments

Qatari royal family tossers stitched up over UK investments

Doha ha ha ha, Qatar - (Ass Mess): Some of the biggest tossers in the Arabian Gulf after the McTomb Raider family of Dubai are to be found in the royal (sic) family of the tiny gas-rich emirate of Qatar.
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Funny story:  Kodyak bimbo image sensor uses available light more efficiently

Kodyak bimbo image sensor uses available light more efficiently

Today's Science Tomorrow -- A relatively simple hardware change has allowed Kodyak to make CMOS and CCD bimbo image sensors for digital cameras that are two to four times more sensitive to light, resulting in less colour noise when a bimbo's...
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Funny story:  Classic Disney porn being auctioned

Classic Disney porn being auctioned

During the production of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves," animators at Disney distributed a pornographic booklet entitled "Snow White and the Seven Truckdrivers," according to biographer Ward Kimball.
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Funny story:  Kristina Grimes Gets Canned On "The Apprentice"

Kristina Grimes Gets Canned On "The Apprentice"

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - Kristina Grimes appealed to the weaker sex in an attempt to win The Apprentice. She drug out her heart-wrenching tale of teenage pregnancy, saying that she became pregnant at 17, was sent to a convent, had a violent l...
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Funny story:  George Bush Buys Kingship from Blair

George Bush Buys Kingship from Blair

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - LONDON - George Bush, wanting to assert himself as the new ruler of "Englund," today purchased the title of King from ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair. Georgie said that he wanted to to be sure his lover, "Toni,&quo...
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Funny story:  Twin Days at Disney

Twin Days at Disney

(Orlando, FL) Disney has announced it will celebrate its own Twin Days at their US and European theme parks. The event next May 21st will complement August celebrations of the official Twin Days in Ohio.
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Funny story:  Mexico to become the 51st state

Mexico to become the 51st state

After losing the fight against illegal immigration once again, it seems like President George W. Bush is trying a completely new attitude towards the matter. In a speech he has given yesterday, he has told of a new idea he had.
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Funny story:  Steve Kilbey Threatens To Cook Carnivore Fans

Steve Kilbey Threatens To Cook Carnivore Fans

International space rocker, artist, poet and vegan activist, Steve Kilbey of the Church fame (Under the Milky Way), has vowed to cook anyone of his minions of fans who dares to eat meat.
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Funny story:  Dr. Phil calls Paris Hilton "Trash without the trailer"

Dr. Phil calls Paris Hilton "Trash without the trailer"

Dr. Phil McGraw, America's most well known psychologist, is reaching out to hotel heiress and notorious bad girl Paris Hilton. Though Hilton has yet to say whether or not she wishes to meet with Dr. Phil, McGraw has, nevertheless, sent a letter...
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Funny story:  Karen Carpenter Raised from the Dead

Karen Carpenter Raised from the Dead

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - Today, Cal-el flew to Karen Carpenter's grave and raised her from the dead. Cal-el said that he was sick of Rap "music" and the horrible effect it has had on the country. Cal-el felt that it was ti...
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Funny story:  Amok "Quixote" Frank outlines intentions

Amok "Quixote" Frank outlines intentions

District of Columbia - Full-time "Don Quixote" impersonator and part-time Massachusetts Representative Barney Frank delivered his future battle plans via messenger this weekend.
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Funny story:  Space Station In Jeopardy - Not The Game Show

Space Station In Jeopardy - Not The Game Show

A computer glitch has placed the International Space Station in jeopardy. Talk is that the multi-billion dollar project may have to be abandoned. Before jumping ship, maybe they should try dialing up Earthlink and experience the anguish of waiting on hold for an hour, finally getting a human being working out of Manila, - speaking with an indistinguishable accent - endure the torture of switching...
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Funny story:  Santa gets new outfit!

Santa gets new outfit!

The polar express: After years of speculation that Santa Claus might quit his job due to the rising heat, it has been confirmed that Santa is not the kind of guy that backs off. In an exclusive interview with the big ol' guy, Santa gets candy...uhm...i mean candid and reveals his future plans.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton picks up MasterCard as first major commercial endorsement since her incarceration

Paris Hilton picks up MasterCard as first major commercial endorsement since her incarceration

Los Angeles, California - MaterCard announced today that it would be contracting Paris Hilton to be their next spokesperson endorsing their credit and debit card right after her release from prison.
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Funny story:  George W. Bush's Rolex found. Bush is main suspect

George W. Bush's Rolex found. Bush is main suspect

New Yawn (United States of Amoneyca): Remember when you were a kid and your mom gave birth to a little sibling of your own? You probably didn't get a lotta attention coz of your sibling. "Mom, why is it that she gets ALL the attention?", is what you probably said to your mom. And maybe, just maybe, you even did a really bad(or stupid) act to grab her...
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Funny story:  Elvis' Pills Sold at Auction

Elvis' Pills Sold at Auction

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - BEVERLY HILLS - A gold-plated gun and a pill bottle owned by Elvis Presley were auctioned off at the Beverly Hilton Hotel this weekend, as was a microphone used by the rock icon on the Louisiana Hayride in the 1950s.
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Funny story:  Pre-solstice astrology has Armageddon written all over it

Pre-solstice astrology has Armageddon written all over it

The Cosmos - (Ass Mess): This year's pre-Summer Solstice astrology has all the signs and omens of a massive upheaval for world governments according to the combined resources of the World Wiccan Council meeting this weekend in London's Strawb...
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Funny story:  Bandar's £75 million BAE Airbus "was spooks' Trojan Horse into the Bushes"

Bandar's £75 million BAE Airbus "was spooks' Trojan Horse into the Bushes"

London - (Ass Mess): International security and intelligence agencies are said to be immensely satisfied at the results of their nine year surveillance operation into the Bush family after kitting out BAE's £75 million Airbus 340 gifthorse to Pri...
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Funny story:  Thanks to Surgery, O'Donnell and Trump are No Longer Full of It

Thanks to Surgery, O'Donnell and Trump are No Longer Full of It

Well, it looks as though the ongoing feud between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump may be over as doctors performed almost simultaneous surgical procedures to remove an excess buildup of fecal matter in each celebrity.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Vows Not To Write Book Until She Reads One First

Paris Hilton Vows Not To Write Book Until She Reads One First

Paris Hilton held a press conference earlier today from her cell at the Lynwood lockup, part of the Los Angeles County Jail system.
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Funny story:  Pamela Anderson's Silicone gel boobs leak

Pamela Anderson's Silicone gel boobs leak

Our Hollywood insiders confirm that Pamela Under-Sun's size 42 boobs have 'deflated'. The much-admired assets have shrunk down to a meagre 28,their actual measure.
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Funny story:  George Michael 'I'm not gay in the USA'

George Michael 'I'm not gay in the USA'

Anxious to regain Stateside popularity former Wham! dreamboat George Michael will from now on refuse to be gay on American soil.
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Funny story:  Victoria Beckham Paralysed After Airport Security Incident

Victoria Beckham Paralysed After Airport Security Incident

Posh Spice Victoria Beckham has been paralysed after a security incident at LA international airport today. In the horrifying accident Victoria was asked to remove her 7 inch high trademark heels as she passed through a security device.
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Funny story:  Blair and Bush to launch Reality TV show

Blair and Bush to launch Reality TV show

British Prime Minister Tony Blair and American President George W Bush plan to team up to present a new reality TV show next year. The show provisionally titled "So you want to be a world leader……"
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Funny story:  Irish Government to introduce prohibition

Irish Government to introduce prohibition

Ireland's newly elected government, a coalition between Bertie Ahern's Fianna Fail party and the Green Party have announced today that as part of the Green Party mandate a nationwide ban on all alcohol sales will come into effect from next Su...
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Funny story:  AIPAC Buys Fred Thompson

AIPAC Buys Fred Thompson

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - AIPAC and Israel are congratulating themselves for having successfully purchased yet another American presidential candidate, Fred Thompson.
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Funny story:  Sun sets for last time

Sun sets for last time

The people of Reading are preparing for the suns last set, as a new Energy Sphere is set to replace the old design.
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Funny story:  Zoellick Says He Will Nail Venezuela With World Bank

Zoellick Says He Will Nail Venezuela With World Bank

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Robert Zoellick, the next head of the World Bank, said on Saturday that he would nail Venezuela and its socialist president Hugo Chavez.
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Funny story:  Big Brother In New Rascism Storm

Big Brother In New Rascism Storm

Channel 4 has been forced to drop the name of its Big Brother TV show in response to widespread criticism of its racist connotations.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton, New Advocate for Prisoners Rights?

Paris Hilton, New Advocate for Prisoners Rights?

Yes, you heard it right, a group that monitors abuse in the prison systems has requested that Paris Hilton come before their board and relay her incarceration experience. Paris who's only serving 45 days maximum probably didn't get the same t...
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Funny story:  Mentally Ill Immune to "The Lucifer Effect"

Mentally Ill Immune to "The Lucifer Effect"

Professor Philip Zimbardo, famous for his Stanford Prison Experiment in which students carefully screened for good mental health quickly turned into sadists in the assumed role of prison guard, admitted in a recent interview that his study proved tha...
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Funny story:  Texting Gives Births a New Sub Language

Texting Gives Births a New Sub Language

With the popularity of texting becoming so prevalent in our society today English professors, linguists and high school teachers are concerned the English language will never recuperate from the shortened spelling scourge bastardizing our language na...
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Funny story:  NYPD to hire bullies

NYPD to hire bullies

N.Y: In what could see an increase in the number of bullies in schools all over New York, the NYPD has stated that from effect from 21st November, they were going to hire only bullies. When questioned on it, the top officials including high rank officers said: "The number of cops in are department are weak and when they have no guns or bulls, they tend to give up and act like sissy's.
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Funny story:  American Psychiatric Association and Scientologists Announce Merger

American Psychiatric Association and Scientologists Announce Merger

In a move that surprised many, the American Psychiatric Association and the Church of Scientology announced today that they are merging.
View 'American Psychiatric Association and Scientologists Announce Merger'
Funny story:  Aliens Return Elvis To Grace Land

Aliens Return Elvis To Grace Land

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Legendary recording superstar, Elvis Presley was returned back to Earth, last night about 2:46 am. Presley was taken captive, in 1977 AD, by living organisms from another solar system. At the time Elvis was taken, Mrs. Presley was to...
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Funny story:  Bono returns Knighthood,  Lords unrepentant.

Bono returns Knighthood, Lords unrepentant.

Bono has returned the honorary knighthood that was presented to him in Dublin just a few short months ago by the British Ambassador to Ireland in protest at what he called "Narrow minded, archaic, 18th century snobbery and ignorance" after...
View 'Bono returns Knighthood,  Lords unrepentant.'
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