Spoof news stories from Tuesday 17 July 2007
Ron Paul Receives More Political Endorsements
Republican Candidate for the U.S. Presidency Ron Paul received several more endorsements today from various political and non political groups. Paul is running on the Republican ticket and is currently a member of the House of Representatives in his...
Obesity bad, but good for the Climate
A study sponsered by the food industry has revealed a surprising result - Obese people help the planet. Apparently, what is bad for the individual, may be beneficial for the environment.
Lyndon LaRouche Refuses To Run in 2008, Dubs Dennis Kucinich "The Next Me"
Lyndon LaRouche has run for the U.S. Presidency 63 times, including some years when there was not presidential election. He begin running 43 years before he was born (against Thomas Jefferson) and has in every election since. LaRouche recently anno...
Paris Hilton - No to size 0
Paris Hilton is pictured here,showing off her size -0 figure. Paris told the media that size 0 is for "Huge cows".
Britain puking at the idea of 'Queen Camilla'
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The Duchess of Cornwall has received a much-predicted 60th birthday present from the country today with over 95% of people in favour of her being forcibly re-patriated to Vladivostok, the Russian home-town that spawned...
BBC Queen footage row spreads to 'Trash in the Attic' show
Broadcasting House - (Ass Mess): The BBC is bracing itself for a new twist in the Queen documentary footage scandal after it emerged that part of the Corporation's flagship arselicking royal puff-piece has been accidentally cut and inserted into...
Sober Drivers Cause More Accidents than Drunks
Keginbumport, Maine (IP) - A scientific study has revealed that sober drivers cause six times as many accidents as drunks do. Statistics from the study have led scientists to conclude the extremely drunk drivers cause the least amount of accidents e...
Taliban Introduces New Line of Toys
Fukengrooven, Germany (IP) - Sources in Europe revealed today that they have intercepted a video recorded by Taliban Industries that displays a new line of toys that will soon be made available to Arab children.
Kenyan asses in diapers
Limuru, Kenya - (Ass Mess): Official: Kenyan asses in the town of Limuru have been ordered to wear diapers in public on aesthetic, religious and sanitary considerations.
46 Year Old Mystery Solved
HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY (AP Newsliar) -- Investigators believe they have found the man who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp, putting an end to a 46-year old mystery. The man's accomplice, believed to have put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-don...
Dr.Who meets Big Brother - filming starts with a bang.
The filming of the next series of Dr.Who has been hit by a setback with the production team being blasted for a stunt 'explosion' which nearby people thought was a terrorist attack. They have been fined and ordered to apologise to everyone co...
Rumsfeld's Adult Contemporary Music Terrorist Strategy A Crisis For George Bush?
(Washington, D.C.) Leaking more than an octogenarian alcoholic at a free beer tasting, yet another memo has come out of the White House. It details a training tape in which former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld claimed that Adult Contemporary music should be used to "assuage citizens' fears of a terrorist attack."...
Soap Merger: Stars Say "Great"
In a bold move today, ITV and the BBC announced that three soaps will merge into one jointly-produced mega-soap.
Next Doctor Who will be Moslem terrorist
Politically correct lefties at the BBC have revealed that the new Doctor Who, who will take over at the end of the year, will be Moslem extremist.
How to hack into The Spoof! website
A spotty teenager has admitted hacking into TheSpoof.com website. The 19 year old boy, who has never had a girlfriend and is never likely to, told our undercover reporter that he had gained access to The Spoof! through a hidden backdoor that...
Paris Hilton botoxes boobies?
New York: Some of us are very gifted in some departments, whereas others lag behind. But Blond heiress Paris, wasn't willing to take "flat" for an answer. It is no news that the blond is fond of fashion...
Man VS Wild Episode Filmed in Palm Beach
Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Bear Grylls was interviewed today by TheSpoof.com's entertainment reporter Heywood Jablowmee and has revealed that an upcoming episode will feature the tough survival star surviving a week on the famous barrier island o...
Kerry Katona Locked In Bedroom - "Good" Says Dad
It's about time! I've been trying to do that for years, teach her a bloody lesson.
Megan Fox naked at Pink Taco
HOLLYWOOD (Calf.) -- Last night I was on my way to interview Angelina Jolie and was passing the new sheik Pink Taco eatery when I spotted Andy Dick, in what appeared to be a latex condom costume. I was about to shout Dick a question when he gave the six-or-so paparazzi the finger and galloped into the eatery.
Ellen Degenarate Marries Greek Porn Star
Cypruss Gardens, Grease (IP) - Famous American comedienne Ellen Degenerate married famous Greak porn star Hetera Phobia in a huge outdoor ceremony. Many readers will remember Hetera Phobia from a scandalous incident where she was deported from Holla...
Pete Doherty's smack patch "rejected by his body"
Westway Trailer Park, West London - (Rotters): A barrister acting for Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has told a London magistrates court that the musician's subcutaneous anti-heroin abuse implant shows signs of rejection by his body and must be...
"And a pint of rhesus negative for Dr Wakefield"
London - (Ass Mess): The General Medical Council has heard damning evidence that MMR quack doctor Andrew Wakefield was addicted to drinking blood and paid children up to a fiver a hit at his son's birthday party.
Commons votes to suspend Galloway from the gallows
London - (Rotters): A House of Commons Select Committee has voted to suspend fork-tongued Respect MP George Galloway from the gallows for his part in milking Saddam's Oil-for-Fraud sympathy scam.
Victoria Beckham Makes It Big In America (Not)
Victoria Beckham, the celebrity British popstar and former Spice Girl, is today bathing in the success of her first American TV show, after 'Victoria Beckham Is Coming To America To Gloat' was aired...
George Galloway's unbeaten run ends
George Galloway has heaved a huge sigh of relief. "They've only been on my case for a little over 10 years and yet again I have been cleared of taking a single penny or in any way personally benefiting from the former Iraqi regime through th...
Military Recruiters Using Sex to Entice Young Men to Join
It has been alleged that one Cincinnati Ohio High School, Marine and Army recruiters are luring young men into the military with promises of sex.
Venice sinking under weight of over-weight American tourists!
The Italian city of Venice, known as the "Venice of the South", after Amsterdam the "Venice of the North", and Stockholm the "Venice of the even further North", has been sinking slowly for hundreds of years. But recently...
Man receives six year prison term for abuse!
A man was sentenced to six years in prison for "abusing" a woman and her 17 year old daughter as they were entering a post office.
Gremlins Sighted!
Early yesterday we had reports that Gremlins had been sighted near a town in Perthshire.
Boris Johnson Season Officially Starts
The Boris Season, formerly known as The Silly Season, officially starts today, and the British people faced with a long hot summer of the Beckhams or Boris are voting with their feet.
Ibiza DJ rocks working men's club
One of the world's most famous DJs has taken a break from Ibiza clubbing to play a gig in a small Scottish town.
UFO Sighting Causes Mad Panic
A UFO that hovered over the West Midlands towns of Oldbury and Dudley at the weekend, caused havoc on the roads in the area, and widespread panic back on its home planet!...
British National Party Disrespected In Stoke
The Mayor of Stoke-on-Trent is being investigated by a local government watchdog after it was claimed that he "showed disrespect" to the British National Party.
Mark Meredith, a Labour councillor, has refused to work with the BNP, which, according...
Ron Paul Winning Spoof Poll
Ron Paul is winning yet another internet poll in the 2008 presidential election. On The Spoof, the most popular website in the world among Web 1.7 based satirical British news web...
U.S. To Change Its Currency From Dollars To Pesos
(Washington) - With the complete failure of Congress and the president to pass immigration reform, the U.S. is forced to change its currency to accommodate the crisis.
Victoria Beckham Provides the Porn
LOS ANGELES (Calf.) -- New 'soccer' superstar David Beckham, 32, is expected to earn an estimated $250 million over the course of his 5 year contract with Galaxy L.A.
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