(Hollywood) - For the past 40 years, actor George Hamilton has remained youthful looking and fit. He doesn't seem to age. Strangely, a 40-year-old self-portrait of George Hamilton, hanging on a wall of his Beverly Hills home, has been found to ha...
Washington, D.C. - Calling it yet another example of the extent of the control of the media by liberals, former Virginia Gov. and Republican Jim Gilmore announced he is no longer seeking the nomination of his party for the 2008 Presidential candidacy...
A FIVE YEAR, $11.2 MILLION DOLLAR US GOVERNMENT STUDY HAS PROVEN THAT MOST READERS DO NOT LIKE STORIES WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS, ACCORDING TO THE STUDIES PRINCIPAL AUTHOR JAMES HASSENHOFF.
It's commonly believed in the academic world that Sir Isaac Newton was responsible for developing the mathematics of calculus. This is a lie that has been covered up for nearly half a millennium. I'm here to speak the truth and to expose the Great Newtonian Lie for what it really is: a conspiracy to deny the rightful owners of calculus their due respect.
(MUSICMAN PRESS) There's a new bill on the table for Mayor Michael Bloomberg. The new bill dubbed, "The Crappy Pic Bill," is designed to prevent the production any more non-professional photograph of the Statue of Liberty.
WASHINGTON (D.C.) -- Swank Capitol eatery Citronella recently refused Madonna entry because she was wearing jeans. When told she was improperly dressed in jeans, said pop star snapped at the maitre d' "that her jeans were more expensive than...
London - (Rioters): A barman at the Whorely Arms Hotel in North London - where celeb patrons include Kate Moss, Prince William and Shaggy Dave the Royal Crack dealer - has said he saw Alexander Litvinenko's assassin "put some strange glowing...
Clarence House, London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The on-off saga of Prince William's heterosexual lovelife took another twist this weekend with reports that Kate Middleton is getting over £1,000 per week from Clarence House baksheesh accounts in...
A new video of the al-Quaeda chief was posted on the internet today in which he called for praise and understanding of "our brethren who share the same bed". Though bin Laden has been rumored for sometime to be extremely close to a number o...
NEW YORK, July 15 - Commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud Selig today revealed the winners of the 2007 Wobbling Doughnut Awards, celebrating the fourteenth year of their existence.
Bangladeshis have always been a colony of betelnut addicts. 'My' extensive and 'paranormal' research studies show that betelnut sessions help the secretion of our brains opiates, drugging us often to the point of excitement or euphoria.
It's official! Lord Stevens has been begged to Her Majesty's police force - to look into the rumours regarding Sven and Manchester City's deliberate shoot to miss policy!!...
BEVERLY HILLS (Wilshire) *EXCLUSIVE* -- I've had to come out, to expose this news to you. I'm a Beverly Hills cop. That's right, I drive a squad car. No, I didn't pick up Paris Hilton, I was out at Big Muddy Donuts. Pity I can't pick up Megan Fox, with the future trouble she's going to cause me.
HOLLYWOOD (Glendale) -- No, it's not the aliens, but the Sheriff's Department itself that has launched an Internal Probe into Paris Hilton. Will it hurt? Who knows. The aliens usually return you unharmed, if with a little loss of dignity. I know that's what they did to me.
The world's leading scientists admitted today that the single biggest contributor of greenhouse gases is not man. It's cows.
Today it was announced that Simon Cowell's production company will make a new show entitled "Idol Bastard Idol", where wannabe contestants fight it out to be crowned worlds most idol bastard.
New York, New York (IP) - The Department of Homeland Insecurity issued a red alert at New York's largest airport today and issued an order for their highly trained bum squad to round up all of the unusual suspects. Men of Middle Eastern appearan...
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The General Medical Council's disciplinary hearing this week will hear how quack doctor Andrew Wakefield falsified spurious immunology statistics after being promised a substantial seven figure sum by the same Pent...
It is almost certain that top shot Spanish international is set for London after having talks with arsenal boss Wenger this afternoon.
An international panel of scientists have reported that Internet download speeds are slower when you watch the files being downloaded. The conclusion comes after an 18 month report costing over $5 million.
The Queen has today stormed out of a Tesco store following an attrocious gaffe by the leading supermarket chain over her usual shopping list.
Sick of the lack of correctly trained terrorists Al-Quaeda has today announced plans to start a new gameshow where points will be awarded to teams of terrorists who manage to pull off an atrocity accurately. The show, which will be aired on popular n...
Producers Entemol are today in the grip of another battle with Ofcom after sending unpopular gobby housemate Charley back into the Big Brother house after she was evicted with over 75% of the public vote.
The multinational energy supplier FrankensteinPower now owns 98% of the British energy market, and plans to 'take over the world' by 2008, according to a report leaked today.
Los Angeles, Calif. Since their arrival, David and Posh Victoria Beckham have captured the media's attention in a big way. I'd be willing to speculate that the, usual paparazzi magnets can't find a flash bulb to save their lives in the p...
David Beckham has been brought to the U.S., not to play soccer, but to run for president on the Republican ticket.
Motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel filed suit last week against Harley Davidson for personal injury. According to papers filed in a Las Vegas court, Knievel claims the motorcycle manufacturer is responsible all the injuries he suffered...
The Mall of America in Minneapolis Minnesota has joined other malls across the country in barring Seniors unless they are accompanied by a teenager.
A primary school teacher from Liverpool was fired for extorting pocket money from children.
In his first interview since Gordon Brown made him Foreign Minister, Sir Mark Malloch Brown says his British cabinet collegues should smoke weed and dance like gays, particularly in the international arena.
LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department has opened an investigation into whether Paris Hilton received special "perks" during her 23 days in jail last month.