Funny story:  I, ET McCrone will build the Dental Dam!

I, ET McCrone will build the Dental Dam!

New front-runner and only candidate for the post of PrezMimister,leader of the USUK, has proposed the building of what he is calling "The Dental Dam".
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Funny story:  I, ET McCrone will wear a gas bag!

I, ET McCrone will wear a gas bag!

Candidate for PrezMinister, lift operator ET McCrone, has made a campaign promise to wear a gas bag until election day and if elected for his entire unknown term of office (unknown since there has never been a PrezMinister, leader of the USUK), I,ET McCrone will collect all of my methane. And believe me, just ask the future Mistress of USUK,McCrone's proposed title for the PrezMinister's...
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Funny story:  Thousands Protest War in Washington March

Thousands Protest War in Washington March

An unnumbered group of people estimated at over 50,000 marched on Washington to protest the war in Iraq and attempt to force the government to bring the soldiers home. This was the largest anti-war march in Washington since the anti-Vietnam marches...
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Funny story:  Porn and Pancakes Breakfast Draws Celebrities

Porn and Pancakes Breakfast Draws Celebrities

A church in a small New York town that intended to have a pancake breakfast denouncing porn has had the opposite affect. When people read that there was a "Porn and Pancakes" breakfast at a local church, things begin to get out of hand. Within fi...
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Funny story:  Columbian Coffee King Juan Valdez Found Dead in Field

Columbian Coffee King Juan Valdez Found Dead in Field

Columbian Coffee King Juan Valdez was found dead in his coffee bean fields last night. While many thought Valdez was just a caricature created to sell coffee by an American syndicate, he was a multi-billionaire who leaves behind a huge estate and a...
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Funny story:  Jolly Green Giant Faces Paternity Test

Jolly Green Giant Faces Paternity Test

There is no happiness tonight in the valley of the Jolly (ho, ho, ho) Green Giant. The big guy has been sued for child support and is facing a paternity test tomorrow. The suit was filed on behalf of exotic dancer Mandy "Boom Boom" Mancini and her...
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Funny story:  Sad PM On His Way To Skid Row Tries Flogging Kitchen Appliances

Sad PM On His Way To Skid Row Tries Flogging Kitchen Appliances

In what's being seen as an unprecedented step, Prime Minister Tony Blair, has put an advertisement on eBay and is seeking to sell a Hotpoint washing machine and a Sharp microwave oven.
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Funny story:  President Unable to Identify Human Brain

President Unable to Identify Human Brain

While visiting school children yesterday in Delaware, President Bush was showing pictures to the students to assist the teacher. One picture was nor readily identified by Mr. Bush. As he took a second, then third look at a photograph of a human bra...
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Funny story:  Pope depressed after being dumped by internet satire sites

Pope depressed after being dumped by internet satire sites

Vatican City - (Rue Uterus): Pope Ratzinger is said to be suffering from encyclical depression after being dumped by internet satire sites following his well-publicised rant last November that everybody was poking fun at his Nazi origins and defaming...
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Funny story:  Lightening Does Strike In The same Place. It's Official

Lightening Does Strike In The same Place. It's Official

Hapless Hampshire farmer, Jed Bread, was today wondering what he's done to bring on such a spell of bad luck.
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Funny story:  Katie Holmes Cruise Turns Down $2 Million Dollar Batman Sequel

Katie Holmes Cruise Turns Down $2 Million Dollar Batman Sequel

Katie Holmes has turned down a $2 million dollar offer to reprise her roll in the upcoming Batman Returns sequel, The Dark Knight. Citing scheduling conflicts as a reason, the woman who has not made a movie since before her pregnancy and marriage sa...
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Funny story:  Downing Street search warrant to target sewers

Downing Street search warrant to target sewers

London - (Rioters): Police investigating the cash-for-peerages scam have applied for a warrant to search Number Ten's secret cable complex which runs via the subterranean plumbing network installed by 19th century engineering genius Sir Joseph Ba...
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Funny story:  Florida Girl Gets Settlement in Topless Jumping Jacks Case

Florida Girl Gets Settlement in Topless Jumping Jacks Case

Last year, a Florida teenager was found in a compromising in her car with an older teen boy. The arresting officer had her get out of her car and forced her to do topless jumping jacks for him. In the ensuing legal process, the policeman was fired...
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Funny story:  New Beijing Tesco slammed for selling cats, dogs

New Beijing Tesco slammed for selling cats, dogs

London - (Rotters): UK food retailer Tesco came under repeated criticism today after reports found that its newly opened Beijing store is selling frozen cats and dogs alongside the usual supermarket items like crackers, condoms and tomato ketchup.
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Funny story:  Casting for Pirates 3 Go Haywire

Casting for Pirates 3 Go Haywire

The Popular Movie Saga Pirates of the Caribbean was having auditions for the third movie At Worlds End for the part of Captain Sao Feng Yun-Fat Chow (I know what you're thinking were his parents high? We'll never know) got the part after a fu...
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Funny story:  Painting of Britney Spears Displayed in The Rotunda of U.S. Capitol

Painting of Britney Spears Displayed in The Rotunda of U.S. Capitol

The photos of Britney Spears getting out of a limo panty less have become immortalized and American symbols for bald capitalism and individual freedom. Writers for Spoof International found a painted rendition of one of the now famous photos hanging...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton has Breast Reduction Op!

Paris Hilton has Breast Reduction Op!

Paris Hilton, the skinny, boobless, airheaded heiress, whose sole contribution to world culture is the exploits of her vagina, has had a breast reduction operation.
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Funny story:  Construction work begins on Paris Hilton

Construction work begins on Paris Hilton

There was confusion today, as a new wing was due to be built onto the Paris Hilton hotel in downtown Paris. But builders misunderstood and have begun assembling scaffolding on Paris Hilton, the skinny talentless heiress.
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Funny story:  Science Fact: Living is Bad for Health

Science Fact: Living is Bad for Health

Scientists at Camford University have discovered irrefutable evidence that 'to live', that is the state of 'being alive' could in fact be bad for you. Extensive research on a whole multitude of volunteers of all ages and from all back...
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Funny story:  Beckham in Creationist Museum ad promotion

Beckham in Creationist Museum ad promotion

Los Angeles - (Rotters): LA Galaxy football team's latest recruit David Beckham has signed a multi-million dollar deal to promote the Kentucky-based Creationist Museum and will appear on its advertising hoardings as Old Testament character Mr Ona...
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Funny story:  Unrepentant Jo is Black

Unrepentant Jo is Black

Jo O'Meara, unrepentant, world renowned 'Indian bully' and recently evicted Big Brother housemate has revealed to the world that she was indeed herself 'a black woman'. Faced with harsh criticism over her behaviour with fellow ho...
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Funny story:  Loose moose goose sues

Loose moose goose sues

Pennsylvania - (Rioters): A wanton elk is at the center of a Fayette lawsuit today as student Ms Amy Walters prepares to sue her university for negligence following a biology examination incident when the hunting trophy allegedly leapt from its wall...
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Funny story:  Bin Laden claims 9/11 was 'intended as leaflet drop but went horribly wrong'

Bin Laden claims 9/11 was 'intended as leaflet drop but went horribly wrong'

Osama bin Laden has released a new video to the Al Jazeera television network, in which he sensationally reveals the real reason for the 9/11 attacks was not malicious, just incompetent.
View 'Bin Laden claims 9/11 was 'intended as leaflet drop but went horribly wrong''
Funny story:  Air Travel Banned Shock

Air Travel Banned Shock

In a new move intended to save the planet, member states of The United Nations have met and decided to ban all air travel henceforth.
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Funny story:  "American Idol" Producers Force Simon to Sing For His Supper

"American Idol" Producers Force Simon to Sing For His Supper

NewZ~Dirt says that American Idol judge Simon was forced by FOX management to don a pair of hot pants and without backup singers or music perform Tina Turner's 70's hit, Proud Mary. Paula Abdul reportedly remarked af...
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Funny story:  Former Ace Of Spades Hellraiser Goes Legit

Former Ace Of Spades Hellraiser Goes Legit

Hellraising bassist and vocalist with heavy metal merchants Motorhead, Lemmy, is today cock-a-hoop at having secured the Conservative Party's nomination as prospective parliamentary candidate for Ashby de la Zouche.
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Funny story:  Golf Legend Voted Out of Big Brother Amidst Mental Scenes

Golf Legend Voted Out of Big Brother Amidst Mental Scenes

Angry scenes last night at the Big brother house as golf legend and two-time Major winner, Mark O'Meara, was voted out of the troubled show amidst a sea of cat-calls, boos and talk of racist slurs.
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Funny story:  Last Non-Dysfunctional Family in America Falls Apart

Last Non-Dysfunctional Family in America Falls Apart

For the last three years the Petersons of Monmouth, New Jersey have had the proud distinction of being the only non-dysfunctional family in America. With a blissful marriage, well-adjusted kids, and no feuds in sight, they were the envy of their nei...
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Funny story:  The Golden Toad Awards

The Golden Toad Awards

Yes Reader's its that time again Toad Fever I, Ace Ventura went to the Hilwhore Hotel in L.A where I, Ace Ventura met up with celebreties from all over the world My first interview not suprisingly is with the overrated over televised Brad Armpitt...
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Funny story:  Cracker's sue Pothead

Cracker's sue Pothead

After some major cover up breaking I discovered what really happened in the World Court House last week famous spoof character Harry Pothead was being sued by a family of stoner's for selling them bad crack now normally all of them would have been arrested had it not been that Pothead was a fictional character and teh Cracker family was the Clinton's Didn't anybody wonder why Bill Clin...
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Funny story:  Will the Spears Saga end?

Will the Spears Saga end?

Welcome Readers I, Ace Ventura JR am reporting on the birth of Britney Spears' twentythird baby this one was named Oragon their collection of babies named after United States locations grow ever larger proud father Kevin Federlinesays he is considering giving up rap to go back to Pizza Hut the couple now weigh individually...
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Funny story:  Bush Admits to Masturbating

Bush Admits to Masturbating

In an unusually candid interview this afternoon President George W Bush, an outspoken opponent of pornography, admits that he masturbated once when he was younger.
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Funny story:  UN Announces Important Date Line Meeting

UN Announces Important Date Line Meeting

The United Nations' Geographic Sciences Council (UN-GSC) has announced the location and dates of its upcoming forum on the International Date Line. The council will meet in Lisbon, Portugal, during the week of 4 - 8 June, 2007, to discuss propos...
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Funny story:  Chelsea Striker Diddles Mourinho and Management

Chelsea Striker Diddles Mourinho and Management

Didier "The Diddler" Drogba, Chelsea Striker, claimed yesterday that Jose Mourinho and angry management were bringing the team down.
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Funny story:  Tyrranus Rectum enlists because of Rome miniseries

Tyrranus Rectum enlists because of Rome miniseries

George W Bush, who has been heavily influenced by the HBO mini-series Rome so much, that he changed his title from President to Tyrranus Rectum, has taken it a step forward.
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Funny story:  Ken Livingstone Re-zones Downing Street

Ken Livingstone Re-zones Downing Street

London Mayors Office- London Mayor Ken Livingstone, who has at various stages been associated with nicknames such as "Red Ken", "Commie Ken", "Nazi ken", "the only mayor in the world with a foreign policy" and...
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Funny story:  Who Gave Episodes of The Simpsons to YouTube?

Who Gave Episodes of The Simpsons to YouTube?

The Fox television division has subpoenaed YouTube to get the name of the user who uploaded episodes of The Simpsons, but maybe the network should be checking its own headquarters.
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Funny story:  Beelzebub found working for London Borough of Hackney

Beelzebub found working for London Borough of Hackney

Vatican City - The bells of churches around the world are ringing this evening after a long hard investigation led by the Holy See and Cardinal Poirot has identified Beelzebub, the patron god of the Philistines and the evil Demon of all fallen angels...
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Funny story:  CLDT Technicians say Laura's moved for the 1st X

CLDT Technicians say Laura's moved for the 1st X

The same advanced medical device, Computer Long Distance Technology (CLDT), that diagnosed VP Cheney's explosive diarrhea at Bush's State of the Union is now reported to have been focused as well on first Lady Laura's Bush while she sat p...
View 'CLDT Technicians say Laura's moved for the 1st X'
Funny story:  Hell freezes over, Satan orders ice skates

Hell freezes over, Satan orders ice skates

Hell Central - In this year of strange global weather changes, the unthinkable has happened. Severe weather has gone beyond the globe into what is known as the earth's outer darkness or what is more commonly referred to as "Hell".
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Funny story:  Bush Continues War Support; Answers May Be Found In U.S. Capitol Prayer Room

Bush Continues War Support; Answers May Be Found In U.S. Capitol Prayer Room

Critics of the president's war strategy in Iraq and other cowboy "diplomatic" measures said an answer to the partisan way that he has conducted politics may be found in the prayer room of the U.S. Capitol in Washington.
View 'Bush Continues War Support; Answers May Be Found In U.S. Capitol Prayer Room'
Funny story:  Porn discovered on No 10 email system

Porn discovered on No 10 email system

Drowning Street - (Rotters): Police probing a secret cash-for-honors email network used by the Prime Monster and his staff to conceal their whoring for the Bush Administration have stumbled on a covert porn matrix which ensured all Labour Party cash...
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Funny story:  Big Brother Jo Not Racist : Official

Big Brother Jo Not Racist : Official

Jo O'Meara, the toilet mouthed human ashtray, was tonight relieved of her place in the Celebrity Big Brother House. In a cowardly joint eviction with equally cowardly Cleo Roccos, who was there to serve as a boo buffer for Champion Chav Jo.
View 'Big Brother Jo Not Racist : Official'
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