London - (ReUterus): The legalisation of prostitution debate took another twist today as it emerged Prime Mobster Tony Blair wants to quash any introduction of official red light zones and replace the idea with a fleet of mobile brothels carrying off...
New York - (Rioters): Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been sentenced to 50 hours training with the US Women's Olympic shot put team after Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Robert Mandelbaum praised her steely determination to hurl a variety of project...
Socialist union antagonist Ricky "Scouse" Tomlinson has revealed he is shocked to learn British Gas is actually a capitalist organisation.
Ever dreamt of being a popstar? Singing other people's songs to thousands of brain dead, screaming middle aged bored house wives? According to music expert Paul Gamblerachino it's never been easier. Even the chart rules have changed so any un...
Last night, Rank-Air Flight 66613 was making its final untroubled descent into Gatwick Airport, when experienced pilot James Henley-Regatta (53) left the controls as he always did to reprimand binge drinking passengers. Little did he know that the ro...
A surprising development today at the Highland Games as top hammer thrower, Findlay Spindley, was beamed aboard a mysterious space-craft just as he was about to throw for the championship.
Washington, D.C.-- Sen. Barack Obama, the charismatic junior senator from Illinois, announced today that news of his taking the first formal step towards a run for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination are untrue.
(Washington, D.C.) Further points of George Bush's plan for Iraq are being revealed. And for those staunch Republicans who say, "This isn't a game." Well...maybe it is. Except not Uncle Pennybags, but Uncle Sam will be the central f...
Samuel L Jackson, not content to fight off 2000 snakes on a plane repeats his award winning reptile slaying performance in Snakes in a Cab opening this weekend.
Sussex - (Rioters): Tennis ace Greg Rusedski is said to be revising his life insurance policy after a freak Xmas Eve occurence at his home in rural West Sussex saw part of his house demolished when an unidentified propellant suddenly caused extensive...
UN HQ, New York - (Rotters): A groundswell of opinion is lobbying the UN Security Council for official recognition of David Irving and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's hystery revision foundation in the form on an International Holocaust Deniers Day based o...
As if you needed it confirmed but here it is anyway: eating curry is really good for you - and that's official.
Start-up company Hell Fire Poltergeists guarantees to not only scare the living Hell out of your party guests but also send them running for the door when you're tired of them and it's time for them to go home.
London - (ReUterus): The Acting Coroner in charge of Princess Diana's much delayed inquest has ordered the exhumation of her body as a vital part of a police TV re-construction into her fatal funeral and burial.
The shocking rise of suicides in the gay bear community has been blamed on a condition known as bi-polar disorder.
A man was discharged from hospital today after becoming Britian's first full body transplant survivor.
London Zoo was under fire last night when it was revealed that they had been bleaching dogs and passing them off to the unsuspecting public as polar bears.
Glastonbury founder Michael Beavis was today thanking his persistent nagging as The Police famed for hits like 'Roxanne' & 'Don't Stand So Close To Me' announced they would be pe...
Dame Helen Mirren, has taken a strong grasp on this years Golden Globe Awards which took place in Karbul last night, winning Two awards for Elizabeth II in The Queen, a film about the Monarch's days a teenage hooker, but...
There was a bit of a kerfuffle in the world of retail yesterday when it was announced that Ikea would be actually starting to sell some decent furniture at last.
The executions of Barzan Ibrahim and his lover, Awad Hamed al-Bandar, were completely safe and in accordance with guidelines which will be issued tomorrow by The Society For Problem-free Hangings.
The unselfish, caring, talk-show host has told friends, "The folks have to be taken care of, even when I'm no longer around to do it."...
In an announcement sure to rock the scientific world, Dr. Jack Harvey, a noted biochemist, claims he has found several flaws in the scientifically regarded theory of "intelligent design".
It was just a matter of time before NYPD's new cracker-jack DWBJ task force would make their first bust. After a boring week of reeling in some driving while drunk, text messaging, eating Big Macs and a few shavers and eye shadowers a DWBJ finall...
"It's not just about the QB!" was the chant of striking linebackers and linesmen during their demonstration outside the NFL President's office. "We're sick and tired of the camera following the ball", screamed a NFL li...
Red Sox management and on-field manager and coaches agree that a World Series Championship in 2090 is a worthy goal.
Arguably the clearest illustration of the horrific condition of our economy, a study by the New York Times has shown unemployment in children under the age of twelve to be at an all-time high. The study revealed that nearly 93% of children in America...
The NY Times brutally devalued the work of thousands of vaccine researchers at the most prestigious Medical research universities and laboratories today by discrediting their work thus far on an HIV vaccine as "an utter failure!".
Fears in Cromer Norfolk that the sea has been taken over by a strain of mutant robot crabs.
According to the Government ad...
In a surprising development, Union members accepted the less than generous new settlement offer from Raytheon execution-I mean -executives. The one thing both sides could agree on was the indispensable role of their retarded workers. Raytheon VP Bill...