Spoof news stories from Monday 26 February 2007
Sodomising a dead dog is still illegal in Michigan: judge
Bay County - (Ass Mess): A 45 year old Saginaw man, Ronald E. Kuch, is to be charged with sodomy, indecent exposure, bestiality and resisting and obstructing an animal control officer after being caught having sex with a road-kill Alsatian.
Britain Creates First Space Tea Bag
The Space Agency of the UK has had many fine moments over the years - the first British astronaut; the Beagle which failed to land on Mars.
Bomb blast in Baghdad didn't happen today
Today, in Baghdad, no bombs exploded. Not a mortar, a mine, a rocket propelled grenade, or even a good old fashioned suicide bomber truck. For the first time in months, the city is not in the news, except for the fact that no bombs exploded which is...
Titanic director Cameron falls for Jesus spoof
London - (Rioters): A self-help recovery group of Leonardo DiCaprio-bashing, Titanic-disparaging and James Cameron-loathing spoof enthusiasts have successfully duped the self-aggrandizing Hollywood director into declaring in public that a mouldy old...
Branson Furious at Bumbled Investment
Sir Richard Branson has said this morning that, for the first time in his long and distinguished career, he has been outdone by an inept inventor.
Old Benny Hill show found in archives
A comedy sketch by Benny Hill, real name Alfred Hawthorn Hill who died in 1992 has been found in the BBC archives, the unknown show was filmed after a TV broadcast in 1984.
Sex, Drugs & Britney Spears
HOLLYWOOD, BABELON--(ASSOCIATE PRESS ) Britney Spears, the too pooped-to-pop, frazzled-dazzled, hairless-Chihuahua coiffed, super-duper star has had the beans spilled on her pill-popping, cocaine-nasal-sucking escapa...
Edge of the World is Near Hull Claims Yorkshire Woman
An extremely distressed Karen Grimley (45) telephoned The Spoof this morning reporting that she had "seen into oblivion."...
London 2012 Olympics over budget by £13
The cost of the 2012 London Olympics is a staggering £13.97 over budget.
Conservatives Promise Truancy Executions in Pre-Election Manifesto
"People in this country are crying out for a Conservative Party that is decent, reasonable, sensible, common sense and in it for the long term of this country and that is the party we are going to build."...
Death Star Sighted Close To Earth!
Officials at NASA today urged people not to panic as it was confirmed that the very last act of the famous "Hubble" space telescope had been to take pictures of the so-called "Death Star", a weapon of unimaginable power that was m...
Mother appeals Anna Nicole Smith burial
Fort Lauderdale, Florida - (ReuterUs): Virgie Arthur has appealed Judge Seidlin's ruling about the burial of her daughter Anna Nicole Smith saying that she now wants her stuffed and put in a glass display box at her home town in Texas.
Bengals Change Stripes to Bars
Cincinnati, OH- Cincinnati Bengals' owner, Mike Brown, has decided to roll with the times by changing the Bengals traditional orange and black striped uniforms to detention-orange jumpsuits with horizontal black bars.Brown described players as be...
Queen lost five grand backing Meryl Streep
Buckingham Palace - (Rioters): Dear Diary. The atmosphere in Buck House is decidedly frosty today after the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon advised Philip to put the week's tourist bookshop takings on Meryl Streep winning an Oscar for The Devil...
Helen Mirren invited to Palace
Oscar winner Dame Helen Mirren has been invited to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace. Dame Helen, who portrayed her majesty in her movie 'The Queen' said. 'I enjoyed playing the role very much, and the Palace have invited me there to di...
Police Investigate Sarah Beshara
A while back there was a report of Sarah Beshara harassing Samuel Michael Schildkraut in an article titled "Woman Harasses Man"; and here's the update.
Sexy girl walking naked
A very sexy girl was found naked in the streets of Milan this week, the girl has been teaching all the other girls her ways of sex, how to strip, how to kiss and how to get sex.
Martin Scorsese wins Best Director for "The Departed"; Eyebrows win Best Supporting Director
In a stunning upset at Sunday's Academy Awards, Martin Scorsese's eyebrows won the Oscar for Best Supporting Director, beating out Clint Eastwood's chin and Ron Howard's bald head.
Hillary: "I was Strom Thurmond's slave"
Washington DC - (ReuterUs): New York Senator Hillary Clinton has waded into the Al Sharpton slavery controversy by telling friends that she herself was a slave of the controversial Democrat segregationist turncoat senator Strom Thurmond and bore him...
Madonna to adopt Anna Nicole's baby
Bahamas - (ReUterus): Pop star Madonna is filing an official request to formally adopt Anna Nicole's daughter after hearing that the baby's grandmother Virgie Arthur may be the only blonde female role model in little Dannielynn's life.
Cup final violence 'great advertisement' for football
TOURISM chiefs have hailed Sunday's Carling Cup final between Chelsea and Arsenal as 'a fantastic advert for British football'.
Jade visits Indian Parliament
Shamed celebrity Jade Goody, today visited the Indian Parliament to formally apologise for her outrageous behaviour toward Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty, and to the Indian people in general. Parliament was suspended briefly to allow time for her to...
Ronaldo's Late Winner Saves Planet From Destruction
NASA has revealed that Christiano Ronaldo's late winning goal was so brilliant it diverted asteroid 99942 Apophis which was due to destroy the planet in 2036. Drawing comparisons with Christ, Ronaldo's mazy run also caused di...
Rory Bremner's Margaret Beckett Impression Tricks Gordon Brown
Gordon Brown was tricked into making indiscreet remarks about colleagues by Rory Bremner dressed as a donkey, it has been revealed. The Chancellor of the Exchequer was reportedly taken in when Bremner called on him on the da...
White House confirms that Anna Nicole Smith to be buried with full military honors
It is a week since Anna Nicole Smith died and yet America's grief continues unabated, citizens weep openly on the streets, shops are closed and pictures of the former model and humanitarian hang in every window.
Cops say US school principal bought 'a load of cack' in his office
Tampax, Florida - (Rioters): Police officers say that Anthony Giancola, principal of Van Buren School, bought a load of cack in his office while students were on campus and gleefully thought it was narcotics.
Cigarette Smokers Adjust Their Smoking Levels
Smokers throughout Britain have been changing their ways in preparation for the new law that prohibits smoking in public places from July 1st.
Celebrity Big Brother Danielle & Jo In Teddy Love Triangle Mess
Celebrity Big Brother housemates Lloyd Daniel and Joe O'Mira have become bitter foes in a love triangle with West Ham has-been Teddy Shirtlifter, 48.
John Terry In Hospital - Dreams Fantastic Dream
John Terry, the Torquay United footballer, woke up in hospital last night and told doctors about a fantastic dream he had, in which in he believed he was a Chelsea and England international defender.
Academy Awards Made Me Gay
Straight men across the world have lodged formal complaints against The Academy Awards this year for experiencing overwhelming feelings of gayness during the Oscar broadcast.
9/11 conspiracy 'wrong'
The notion that 9/11 was caused by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons has been dismissed by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons.
Police act in Missing Toffo inquiry
A toffo, missing from a sergeants desk drawer, remains at large somewhere tonight. Despite deployment of the Met's finest officers, the toffee based sweetmeal continues to evade capture.
Former Qantas Airline stewardess fired for boffing Ralph Fiennes in john hired by American Spread Eagle
Former Qantas Airline stewardess, Lisa Robertson was hired on the spot by American Spread Eagle after being fired by her former employer, Qantas for punching Ralph Fiennes mile-high membership card in the cramped space of one of their airlines toilet...
Apple develops iGay
Apple have become the first company to develop a product specifically for the gay market. The iGay is a device which detects shopping bargains, comments on men's clothes and generally minces about when the owner is too tired...