Spoof news stories from Sunday 18 February 2007
Nicole Smith Child was Sperm Doner's
After many days of DNA testing and interviewing it has been established that the father of Nicole's baby is non other then O. J. Simpson.
NBA Reacts to Tim Hardaway Anti Gay Slur at All Star Game
Before the beginning of the NBA All Star celebration weekend, former All Star guard Tim Hardaway said in a press conference that he hated gays. This outburst was caused by a recent coming out of a former NBA player.
Illuminati send Themis to probe the Northern Lights
Cape Canaveral, Florida - (Rioters): The Illuminati have sponsored NASA's latest space probe Themis on its mission to penetrate the colourful light show known as the aurora or Northern Lights in high-latitude skies above Earth.
First topless airline, American Spread Eagle, debuts
America's friendly skies have just become much friendlier. American Spread Eagle airlines has just announced its first flight to the nether regions of your amygdala. After spreading its wings back in January, the airline is ready to begin service...
Librarians Sack Newbery Medal Winner for Saying Scrotum!
Susan Patron won the Newbery Medal,the most prestigious award in Children's Literature, for her novel, The Higher Power of Lucky. Librarians across the English-speaking world are debating the appropriateness of the children's book in...
Churchill's painting, an update
A painting by Winston Churchill which hangs in his Chartwell country house in the heart of the Kent countryside England was found to hide a hidden image.
Shilpa Shetty and Britney Spears In Lesbo Love Romp On YouTube
Shilpa Shetty and Britney Spears are fast becoming the biggest thing on YouTube, following the sensational appearance of a video posting on the file sharing site, showing what appears to be a lesbian love-romp between the two stars.
Eric Clapton: Britney's Amex bounced her out of rehab
Antigua: Eric Clapton, owner of the Antiguan Crossroads rehab where Britney Spears spent a memorable 24 hours convincing doctors that she didn't have a problem, has said he had to throw the singer out after her credit card bounced the $20,000 upf...
Faith in Bigfoot and Other Frauds Fading!
American Association for the Advancement of Faith in Frauds(AAAFF) decried the results of a recent survey which shows that belief in the bogus is weakening across US society.
Aggressive Pheasants Surround Sandringham
Concern is mounting over the safety of the Queen and members of the Royal Family who remain trapped inside their Norfolk hideaway in Sandringham, following a reported coup by flocks of marauding pheasants.
Vatican to open luxury brothels
Rome - Astonishing news from Vatican city today, as Monsignor Alphonse Di Vachi, head of a papal commission, looking into ways for the Vatican to maximise falling profits, startled believers and atheists alike when he announced that his new report wo...
Roman Graffiti Predicts Moving Pictures
Some early Roman graffiti has been found on Hadrian's Wall situated on the English/Scotish border.
Tom Cruise: "I love sleeping with ladies!"
Hollywood - World famous heterosexual movie star and holder of strange beliefs, Tom Cruise, today revealed all, in an exclusive interview with The Spoof, telling without shame of his genuine love of women and his interest in "doing it with them.
Britney Spears will play a mutant in a new movie
Britney Spears is to star in X-Celebrities, a new movie based on the X-Men franchise. A Twentieth Century Fox spokesman was very excited with Ms Spears' new bald-head look, which was the reason that made her a natural contender to play the part of Pr...
Bush Moles to Serve in Public Office
The White House announced today that President Bush had two suspicious moles removed from his left temple in a procedure called a shave biopsy. These moles are expected to be non-cancerous and Washington insiders report that Bush will likely appoint...
Buy Britney Spears' Shaved Head Hair on E-Bay
The long, golden locks (including the hair extensions) of Britney Spears will go on sale Monday on E-Bay. Britney recently shaved her head bald, but has never confirmed any of the many rumors for her new look. Those rumors have included things such...
Hugo Chavez Ate My Baby!
Caracas - Anna Martinez a young Venezuelan woman, has sensationally claimed that dangerous social reformer and critic of US foreign policy, President Hugo Chavez is a secret connoisseur of lightly poached baby.
Nana The Psy-chic Advisor Sees into the Future
When I looked into my crystal ball to see the future, I saw a 25th century Ark.
New Mexico talking urinals dispense therapy
Albuquerque - (Ass Mess): New Mexico Transportation Department has installed alcohol counselling urinals in 500 experimental sites at bars and restaurants. The 'talking deodorisers' warn patrons that they have pissed themselves and need to m...
Is Charles Kennedy on the bottle again?
Westminster - Friends of ex Liberal democrat leader, Charles Kennedy are said to be "extremely concerned" by the flame haired politician's recent bizarre public behaviour and pronounced slur, which many commentators in and around Westmi...
Britney Spears' Baldness is for new Movie Role
Insiders have informed BEF at The Spoof, the recent head shaving Britney Spears gave herself was for a movie roll where Britney will be playing a psychotic pop princess that folds under the pressure of her celebrity then chops off all her hair.
Barack Obama Is An Irish O'Bama
The Spoof has learned that genealogists working in Ireland's remotest parts, have discovered a hitherto unknown link between Barack Obama, and the ancient Irish farming clan, O'Bama. Through a contorted chain of events involv...
Marcotte Calls Me Names, So I Call Her Names Too
Bart Sucks (Syndicated Troll) - Sacked, shady feminists Amanda Marcotte and Catherine Price hate my article Why Women Are Wrecking America (The Spoof, 1/12/07). I can't understand why. Marcotte said the article was '...
A Tale Of Two Blondies
It was a rather cloudy day. As the rain lashed the windows, Britney sat in her living room consulting an outdated weather forecast. Having decided to make most of the "clear, sunny day", she committed to embarking upon a "Tour de la France."...
Enjoy Your Trip? More To Pavements Than meets The Eye Says Icke
The pavements that we walk on are evil pan-dimensional beings from another world; according to barmpot David Icke that is.
Can't Bend It: Says Beckham
David Beckham the Captain (hardly) of English World Cup (out already) team (to Portugal, no less) has announced his resignation as Captain (it's about time) along with Coach Erikson (thank god).
London Observer Reports: Women's Ova 4 Sale!
It didn't take US Chicken Baron, Perdue Inc long to perch on the UK Ova market.Quonset huts the length of football fields are being constructed all over London's outskirts and even in the capital city's slums.
Al Gore Loses Oscar Recount
Feb. 26, 2007. Al Gore who was presented with an Oscar last night for Best Documentary for An Inconvenient Truth, today was informed that he would have to give the Trophy back after losing in a recount.
Leopard Woman Found in Darkest Peru!
Amid the sacred ruins of Machu-Picchu,archaeologists discovered fresh tracks of a half-human, half-leopard. Wildlife experts rushed to the Peruvian World Heritage site and managed to trap the creature.
John 3 :16 Turns Out to Be "Drtytawk"
We have all seen the end zone signs and endless other camera grabbing locations when a supposed true believer hoists a banner proselytizing millions of sports fans with what appeared to be a New Testament verse from the Fourth Gospel promulgating God...
P4YG's New SEXTIPS from Poor Dick's Almanac
SEXTIPS is the name sexpert website Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia.cum is giving to its latest feature on The Spoof.
Bill Gates Buys Four Seasons Hotel
Bill Gates, in a surprise move yesterday bought The Four Seasons Hotel chain through his investment group Cascade. Saudi Prince Al-Waleed. Group are also investors in the move.
Anna Nicole Smith & James Brown to Go on Dead Celebrity Tour
The families of Anna Nicole Smith and James Brown have gotten together and decided the best way to extract more money out of their dead celebrity relatives is to put them on tour.
Advertising Agencies go Crazy Over Britney Spears New Look
Britney Spears just signed a multi million dollar deal with Bic Razor. Before the ink dried on that deal offers came pouring in for other product tie ins.
Britney Spears Admits "My Vagina Made Me Shave My Head Bald"
Britney Spears, in a Hollywood press conference, admitted that her vagina was out of control and had taken over her life. "It was just like in a Buck E. Filbert story," she said. "It's like it has a mind of it's own and is in total command of me.
Britney Spears / Shears, Donates Her Hair to Cancer Patient
In a selfless act Britney Spears donated her hair to a teenage girl that has been undergoing chemotherapy treatments for the last year.
Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Open Rehab
Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton have gone into a business venture together. They're opening a rehabilitation center for out of control debutantes.
Nude Elvis in black and white film clips
Naked photos along with six minuets of black and white film have been found of Elvis in a picture album, it is believed to have originated from Memphis Tennessee.