Spoof news stories from February 2007
There were 1,029 spoof news stories published in February 2007. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Kelly Pickler's Vagina, Exposed
Kelly Pickler, 5th runner up in last years American Idol contest has been unfairly left out of any vagina stories as of this article. We're about to put this oversight to rest here and now.
American Idol Contestant Was Other Nude Girl in Topless Miss Nevada Pictures
Scandal erupted in Hollywood when it was discovered that one of the American Idol final 20 had naked pictures of herself posted on the internet. The contestant, Antonella Barba, is seen topless in pictures on a beach with the former Miss Nevada. Ot...
Tyra Banks Feels Kathryn McPhee's Beautiful Breasts
Kathryn McPhee of, American Idol fame, was a guest on The Tyra Banks Show recently. Tyra and Kat got along famously chatting away about girlie things, recording in the big time, the general day time chit chat.
Britney Spears Shaved Bald Due to Head Lice
Britney Spears, supporting a new chrome dome, revealed today the simple and embarrasing reason for her new look: head lice.
"I musta caught them fellers off of a pillow from some guy when I was out partying with Paris," said the slightly red-faced...
Britney Spears Shaves Her Head Bald, Gets Tattoos, Checks Into Rehab
Britney Spears has done it again. Now, the former pop princess has shaved her head, had that head tattooed, and checked into and out of a California rehab facility all on the same day. Those three topics will be covered one at a time:
Shaved Hea...
China Vagina Problem Solved
For many years now western medical science has been trying to get to grips with the slippery problem of traditional Chinese vagina. The problem vexing western minds for the last 2000 years has been how to convert the traditional format of Chinese vag...
Bald Britney Spears Says Shaved Head Goes Well With Shaved Vagina
Britney Spears, who shaved her head bald yesterday, says it was to give her an overall look and image. "Yes," said the former pop princess and mouseketeer in her first interview since the new style, "I am now bald all over. I shaved my head and eve...
Britney Spears Admits "My Vagina Made Me Shave My Head Bald"
Britney Spears, in a Hollywood press conference, admitted that her vagina was out of control and had taken over her life. "It was just like in a Buck E. Filbert story," she said. "It's like it has a mind of it's own and is in total command of me.
Fag Football
In the weeks following the manliest event in American sports there has been much debate over the offensive "gayification" of our beloved Super Bowl advertisements.
Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky Have Marriage and Divorce in Same Ceremony
In a surprise move today, shock jock Howard Stern and long term girlfriend and model Beth Ostrosky eloped to a Vermont bed and breakfast. The couple decided to elope to avoid the whole publicity event their wedding would have garnered.
Shilpa Shetty and Britney Spears In Lesbo Love Romp On YouTube
Shilpa Shetty and Britney Spears are fast becoming the biggest thing on YouTube, following the sensational appearance of a video posting on the file sharing site, showing what appears to be a lesbian love-romp between the two stars.
Accused Astronaut Starts Diaper Fashion Trend
Accused astronaut Capt. Lisa M Nowak recently had a rash of irrational thoughts leading her into a string of out of character actions.
Britney Spears' Vagina Lands Contract with Bic Razor
Britney Spears and her vagina have signed a two year contract with Bic Razor. The company has been watching Britney and all the gyrations she's been going through lately and decided she'd be a perfect company spokeswoman.
Buy Britney Spears' Shaved Head Hair on E-Bay
The long, golden locks (including the hair extensions) of Britney Spears will go on sale Monday on E-Bay. Britney recently shaved her head bald, but has never confirmed any of the many rumors for her new look. Those rumors have included things such...
Britney Spears Confession: 'I'm the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby!'
Adding to her recent legacy of acting like a complete idiot, Britney Spears announced today that she is actually the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn.
Britney Spears' vagina attacks warder and escapes rehab
In a shocking turn of events, Britney Spears' vagina has escaped from rehab and gone on the run.
Sexy girl walking naked
A very sexy girl was found naked in the streets of Milan this week, the girl has been teaching all the other girls her ways of sex, how to strip, how to kiss and how to get sex.
Britney Spears' Baldness is for new Movie Role
Insiders have informed BEF at The Spoof, the recent head shaving Britney Spears gave herself was for a movie roll where Britney will be playing a psychotic pop princess that folds under the pressure of her celebrity then chops off all her hair.
Mariah Carey - Playboy Spoof
Diva Mariah Carey is to grace the front cover of Playboy it has been revealed.
Tyra Banks to Wear Ten Year Old Bikini in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
Supermodel Tyra Banks has announced that she will wear a ten year old bikini in the latest edition of the February Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Banks was the first black woman to grace the cover of the famous issue by herself.
Britney Spears and Eminem talk about an album
So maybe her haircut wasn't to "buzz worthy" to some, but according to her management this time it's not Britney and Madonna against the music, its Britney and Eminem against the world!...
Lindsay Lohan's Breasts Admit to Having Nipple Job Done
In a shocking tell all body-part expose with Mike Wallace's nose, Lindsay Lohan's left and right breasts admitted yesterday to having their nipples enhanced by a controversial new surgical procedure.
Lynsey Lohan admits, 'I played with Britney Spears' pussy during 3-in-a-bed Lesbo romp'
Hollywood actress, Lyndsey Lohan, has broken her silence over the recent 'Three in a bed lesbo romp' scandal which threatens to destroy the career of former virginal, pop princess, Britney Spears.
Britney Spears / Shears, Donates Her Hair to Cancer Patient
In a selfless act Britney Spears donated her hair to a teenage girl that has been undergoing chemotherapy treatments for the last year.
Withdrawn Deep Purple live album 'was recording by Joyce Hatto'
Birmingham NEC - (Rioters): Deep Purple's album recorded in 1993 at the National Exhibitionism Center in Birmingham, Alabama has been withdrawn by the band's Ian Gillan who branded it as the biggest pile of crap ever to be squeezed out of the...
Celine Dion, Possibly the Whitest Person on Earth
"In regards to Celine Dion's performance on the Academy Awards last night the only thing I can say is, soulless." This was the comment made by Baptist Minister and choir master, Roy Washington after hearing Celine Dion's rendition o...
Britney Spears Vagina : It's Gone Very Stale
News of the furore surrounding Britney Spears vagina has been bouncing around newsrooms today.
Sylvester Stallone Arrested For Smuggling Contraband in Luggage from Australia
Sylvester Stallone, best known for movie characters Rocky Balboa and John Rambo, was arrested yesterday at the Sydney airport for attempting to smuggle several items through customs. On the regular luggage search, customs inspectors encountered many...
Tom Cruise tells police, 'I shot Britney Spears' pussy after it caused my cock to swell'
You couldn't make it up........well, I suppose you could. Diminuitive Hollywood star, Tom Cruise, found himself in hot water yesterday after he shot Britney Spear's pussy.
Shilpa Shetty Poses For Playboy!
Celebrity Big Brother winner and now a true 'celebrity' in her own right, Shilpa Shetty now makes a bid for world stardom by posing for a rich playboy.
Britney's Vagina: Buck E Filbert, Disappointment at Shave pics
Spoof Reporter Buck E Filbert spent a whole weekend in the closet at the exclusive Antigua rehab where Britney Spears paid a visit.
Marilyn Manson Desperate To Make News Again - Scary Left Eye Just Not Cutting It Anymore
Las Angeles - In an announcement to a throng of one reporter and two on-lookers who weren't really paying attention today, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson swore he would make the news again.
New video shows Britney Spears getting stoned
Yet another scandal threatens pop star, Britney Spears, today as a new video, showing her getting stoned while on a moral-boosting tour of the Gulf, was released on the internet.
Justin Timberlake Says "Britney Shaved Her Head Bald For Me"
Justin Timberlake, entertainer, singer, and former boyfriend of Britney Spears, admitted today that Britney shaved her head to be closer to him. "It's an obsession with her," he said. "I shave my head, so she has to shave her head. I pull off Jane...
Liam Gallagher : I'm Ready to Fight Fat Robbie now
Oasis front man and celebrity 'Manc Skank' Liam Gallagher has declared that he's ready to have fisticuffs with chubby pill popper Robbie Williams.
Jade Goody St Valentine's Day Vagina Monologue Massacre
The newest addition to the Vagina Monologues is published on Wednesday 14th February to coincide with St Valentine's Day, and will be read to the world by Celebrity Big Brother loser Jade Goody.
Britney Spears Does The Responsible Thing; Hires Nanny, Fairy Poppins To Care For Children
Britney Spears, trying to get her life together, appeared to be doing the right thing today by hiring British nanny and London cross-dresser, umbrella flyer Fairy Poppins to care for her two sons, Sean Preston (17 mo.) and Jayden James (5 mo.). It wa...
Britney Spears Arrested For Washington Courthouse "Scooter" Libby Protest
(Washington, D.C.) A new political awareness? Too much partying? Or a cocktail of both? Whatever the reason, no reporter complained about the view when Britney Spears publicly bore her breasts in support of former Dick Cheney aide Lewis "Scooter...
Britney Spears, The New Role Model For Teenage Girls
Britney Spears has been asserting her independence as a single woman and mother the last few months. Since her split with Kevin Federline, Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, has been her motto.
Nude Elvis in black and white film clips
Naked photos along with six minuets of black and white film have been found of Elvis in a picture album, it is believed to have originated from Memphis Tennessee.
Word "Vagina" Missing From The English Dictionary; Several Spoof Writers Detained
In very disturbing news today, the official keeper of words, Wally Rostincowski reported that the word, vagina was missing from the dictionary. Rostincowski, a linguist from Oxford University and world word record holder of the most...
Nursery Rhyme Characters Set To Get ASBOs!
A small Somerset town is recovering today, following a courts decision to award ASBOs to a host of Nursery Rhyme characters who had been causing havoc in the town centre.
Ciderlington resident Mary Apple said "...it was terrible. None of us dared...
Borat lands nudist Captain Kirk role in new Stark Trek movie
Hollywood - (Rioters): Kazakhstani actor Mr Borat has just signed a $20 million Hollywood contract to play the first ever nudist Captain James T Kirk in an innovative remake of the blockbuster sci-fi series provisionally entitled Stark Trek: The Natu...
First topless airline, American Spread Eagle, debuts
America's friendly skies have just become much friendlier. American Spread Eagle airlines has just announced its first flight to the nether regions of your amygdala. After spreading its wings back in January, the airline is ready to begin service...
Natural Oils in Shampoos Lead to Breast Growth in Men
Some natural shampoos have been found to contain chemicals, called essential oils, that have led to breast growth in men and boys. Males who do not desire to grow a pair of "man boobs" should be cautioned against using products that contai...
Obese boy to wear big shoes to see feet
Asteroid attractor Connor McGreedy, the Geordie boy who just can't say no to food, is to be allowed to wear clown shoes so that he can see his feet. Connor, who is from Wallsend and, on a particularly obese day, adjoining Byker, hasn't seen h...
Anna Nicole Smith's Son is the Father
In a bizarre twist to a really strange life the DNA evidence is in as to who the father to Anna's baby is. DNA experts have determined that lawyer, Howard K Stern and photographer Larry Birkhead have been ruled out as the fathers of Anna Nicole...
Sweet revenge as Nancy dupes Faria Alam into whoring
London - (ReUterus): The maxim 'she who laughs last laughs the loudest' has just came true for Nancy Dell'Ollio, belittled live-in lover of ex-England football coach Sven Goran Eriksson.
Inter Mammary Intercourse Advocates Deride IOC Decision
"Muff Diving should never have been approved before the Titty-F**k!" was the hue and cry of the IIMF (The International Inter Mammary F**kers). Cat Calls abounded at the IOC meeting in Likit, Australia.
Lindsay Lohan & Britney Spears In Lesbo Sex-romp During Terrifying Alien Abduction
Spoof writer, Duff, has today claimed that he hasn't a Scooby-doo, who the feck Lindsay Lohan is but has vowed that if she puts bums on seats, then she's the gal for him.
Brad Pitt Sues Angelina Jolie for Cheating in "Sexiest Stars Ever" BBC Poll
Did Angelina cheat in order to be ranked No. 1, or is Brad just jealous that he came in at only No. 5?...
Male breast growth linked to oral sex
London Science Forum - (Rioters): Too much oral sex has been found to cause an unprecedented explosion in the growth of male breasts according to a report which says young men were once routinely warned about the possibility of this happening in 1960...
Thousands Protest Latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
The latest edition of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is out and is causing the usual ruckus. As has happened many times in the recent past, the magazine forgets all about football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, bowling, tennis, swimmi...
Mascherano Slams Gay West Ham
London. In a move surely intended to add insult to injury Liverpool's new Argentinian substitute, Javier Mascherano has lifted the lid off the controversial five minutes he spent at west ham football club.
Angelina Jolie raffles vagina to raise funds for Cambodian orphanage
Compassionate Hollywood Superstar or egocentric, pouty-lipped nutbag?...
Area Man Likes Boobs - Community Disgusted
Kokomo, Indiana - A local man here made a shocking announcement to fellow workmates today. Phil Winslow, 27, told three other male workers that he liked boobs, and was attracted to women because they possessed them.
Virgin China Vagina?
Beijing- All is not well within world's first neocapitalist communist rice superpower. China's much criticised and ill conceived one child policy is finally bearing fruit and to the frustration of government officials; that fruit bears mostly...
Centerfold Playboy USAF drill sergeant to replace NASA's Lisa Nowak
Lackland Air Force Base - (Rioters): Michelle Mantrap, the 38-24-36 USAF drill sergeant demoted for her nude Playboy centerfold pictures, has been invited by NASA to audition for the replacement position formerly occupied by Captain Lisa Nowak, the D...
Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Open Rehab
Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton have gone into a business venture together. They're opening a rehabilitation center for out of control debutantes.
Australian Soccer Team owned by Russell Crowe Drops Cheerleaders Due to Skimpy Outfits
The South Sydney Rabbitohs, a soccer team owned by Academy Award winning actor Russell Crowe, has dropped their cheerleaders due, in part, to their skimpy outfits. The soccer team has announced that they will be replaced by drummers and have asked p...
USAF wants to recruit topless UK teacher
Oldham - (ReuterUs): The United States Air Force is forging ahead with its recruitment policy of employing stunning women who pose topless in national publications by seeking to hire Greater Manchester supply teacher Louise Crolla whose topless pictu...
Jennifer Aniston Admits to Nose Job
Actress Jennifer Aniston admitted today to having once had her nose fixed in plastic surgery. "Sure," she said, "I had a nose job. I'm not ashamed to admit it, either!"...
Danielle LLoyd Splits with Teddy
Following the 'racist' debacle during the recent Celebrity Big Brother show, Danielle Lloyd is the latest victim of her own making.
Curse of the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe as Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - (Rotters & ReUterus): The ancient curse of the Seminoles has struck again. Former Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith, ex-widow of nonagenarian Texan oil tycoon J Howard Marshall, was found dead in her hotel room at the Seminole Hard...
Mysterious last page of Bible found
Cairo - Among the winding alleyways of Cairo's medieval old town, nestled between the coffee shops and spice stalls, sits the small souvenier shop of Mr Ali Mahmoud.
Coastal Erosion - The Facts
With coastal erosion and sea levels steadily rising people living on the south coast of England are becoming more aware of the risks which face them.
Britney Spears.. errr Britney Shears! My lice is out of control!
Britney Spears has been through a lot in the past few months. The media has made a lot of speculations in regards to her behaviour. The Spoof picks up the exclusive story in her continuing media saga.
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Busy Planning One-Year Birthday Bash
A Spoof reporter fluent in baby talk came across this amazing news about the nine-month-old daughter of Brangelina.
Sex, Drugs & Britney Spears
HOLLYWOOD, BABELON--(ASSOCIATE PRESS ) Britney Spears, the too pooped-to-pop, frazzled-dazzled, hairless-Chihuahua coiffed, super-duper star has had the beans spilled on her pill-popping, cocaine-nasal-sucking escapa...
Zsa Zsa Gabor says von Asphalt is one dirty sodding bastard
Monte Carlo - (Rotters): A heartbroken and humiliated Zsa Zsa Gabor was consulting her lawyers today after her husband of 20 years Prince Frederick von Assfelt claimed to have been shagging Anna Nicole Smith since 1990 and had also fathered her baby...
Britney Spears And Shilpa Shetty In Steamy Exclusive Photo Shoot For Top Men's Mag
Bollywood babe, Shilpa Shetty, and off her trolley, Britney Spears, are reported to have signed a multi-million dollar deal with a top men's title, Playboy, that will see them in a steamy photo session together.
Paula Abdul Fired From American Idol
In the episode of American Idol presented Tuesday, January 30th, from Birmingham, Alabama, Paula Abdul was present for the first half of the show. She was not, however, there for the second half. An explanation by Ryan Seacrest during the program s...
George Bush arrested after having sex with a pig
George Bush, the president of the USA, has been arrested after being caught in bed having sex with a pig. His wife Laura was in the bathroom at the time.
Anna Nicole Smith Pisses off Marilyn Monroe
Psychic Friends Network, clairvoyant Cleo, has summoned the spirit of Marilyn Monroe to inquire about her feelings, in regards to being compared to Anna Nicole Smith.
Hitler's Ladyboys!
Berlin - When the old eastern bloc finally crumbled in upon it's own decaying Stalinist foundations; it wasn't only hordes of badly dressed east Germans that flocked into the gaudy neon strasses of west Berlin; following closely behind the mu...
Shilpa Shetty To Marry Michael Jackson
In sensational showbiz news today it has been announced that Shilpa Shetty is to marry Michael Jackson next month in St Margaret's parish church in Peckham.
Adult Diaper Business Soars as Astronaut Use Revealed
The renegade astronaut who donned adult diapers to eliminate bathroom stops on a cross-country jaunt has unwittingly ignited interest in an industry that many consider kind of "icky."...
Madonna to adopt Anna Nicole's baby
Bahamas - (ReUterus): Pop star Madonna is filing an official request to formally adopt Anna Nicole's daughter after hearing that the baby's grandmother Virgie Arthur may be the only blonde female role model in little Dannielynn's life.
Actress Keira Knightley To Go Naked in Movie "Silk"
In her upcoming movie Silk, actress Keira Knightley has announced that she will bare all. The star of the Pirates movies will do full frontal and rear nudity for her part in the film. In the movie, Knightley will play an eleven year old girl on the...
Harry Potter accused of smoking cannabis while at Hogwarts
Would be wizard and Magic Party Leader, Harry Potter has remained tight-lipped over allegations in this weeks papers, that he smoked pot while a student at upper crust wizard school, Hogwarts.
Britney Spears' Vagina Decides Rehab's for Quitters
MALIBU CALIF Insiders tell BEF that Britney Spears and her vagina have entered rehab. In the fastest turnaround in history she checked out in 24 hrs.
Shilpa Shetty Loses Big Brother Crown
Shilpa Shetty has dramatically lost her Celebrity Big Brother title. The Bollywood queen, 'IT GIRL' and all-round celebrity 'Poor Me' was out partying with friends and family last night when she lost her CBB crown.
Luscious Penelope Cruz: Oscar is dream come true
Hollywood - (Rotters): Luscious Spanish actress Penelope Cruz says she is still in a state of utter shock after taking the coveted Best Actress Oscar despite feverish British hustling for their very own diva Helen Mirren to rake in the spoils.
Jade Goody In Another Racial Row
Jade Goody has found herself in the middle of another 'racialist' row after building a snow man at her home in the Priory.
Former Qantas Airline stewardess fired for boffing Ralph Fiennes in john hired by American Spread Eagle
Former Qantas Airline stewardess, Lisa Robertson was hired on the spot by American Spread Eagle after being fired by her former employer, Qantas for punching Ralph Fiennes mile-high membership card in the cramped space of one of their airlines toilet...
Valentine's Day Robot Brings World Peace
Women across America are hailing the release of the new Man-Bot 2007 as the perfect antidote for Valentine's Day blues. Designed through a joint venture of Microsoft and the National Organization for Women, the Man-Bot 2007 showcases the best &q...
Anna Nicole Smith Dead
Former playmate, Guess jeans girl and wife of deceased billionaire J. Howard Marshall was found dead in a Hollywood Florida casino hotel room.
Policemen Break Silence in Long Forgotten John and Lorena Bobbit Case
In 1993, in a fit of anger due to sexual frustration and hostility from abuse, Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband's penis while he slept. She got into her car, drove past a vacant field, and threw John Wayne Bobbit's pride and joy out her window.
John Terry In Hospital - Dreams Fantastic Dream
John Terry, the Torquay United footballer, woke up in hospital last night and told doctors about a fantastic dream he had, in which in he believed he was a Chelsea and England international defender.
Britney Spears Hosts New Adult Reading Show, "Between The Panty Lines"
In the same vein that PBS children's show, Between the Lions is designed to promote reading amongst children, Britney Spears will now host her own television puppet show. It will be called Between the Panty Lines and it will be...
Shock As Britneys Vagina Announces It's Going Solo
The world of popular music was today thrown into an unprecedented state of turmoil, as the vagina of the "Teen" singing sensation Britney Spears announced plans for a solo career.
Pete Doherty to help David Cameron get clean
Former Libertine, Pete Doherty, and his fiancee, supermodel Kate Moss, rushed to the side of pal, David Cameron, last night as allegations of drug abuse threatened to wreck the Tory leader's career.
University of Oregon to Change School Mascot
Eugene, OR - The University of Oregon is making a ripple this week in the PAC-10 pond. Due to insistent pressure from the school's alumni association, the university has funded a commission to select a new mascot for the school's many sports...
Man Greets Other Man While Urinating - Both Men Become Instantly Gay
Dallas, Texas - Ray Furrows, 33, and Peter Santino, 56, were both urinating side-by side in the men's restroom at "Big 'N' Tubby's Steakhouse," when Furrows turned to Santino and said, "How's it goin'?" cau...
Thin people want fat surgery, too
NORBIT, Ohio -- A new study that delves into the popularity of stomach surgery reveals that overweight people are among the highest number of obese adults operated upon.
Paris Hilton Sextape: A CIA Plot
The latest Paris Hilton rude vid has been exposed as a set up by the CIA, it was revealed today.
Barbie manufacturers Mattel to launch bald Britney Spears doll
Mattel president Jill. E. Barad announced today that they would be launching a new talking Britney Spears doll without any hair. The "Bald Britney" as she is to be called will also be programmed to utter random phrases such as "Hair to...
Teletubbies Say "You're Dead You Piece Of Scum!"
A man from Liverpool was in hiding today claiming that he is on the hit-list of Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and that he's dead meat if the loveable furry tri-angle headed kiddies favourite catches up with him.
Coke to go back to original cocaine recipe
Atlanta - Coca Cola Executives and a small army of PR people today crowded a specially hired convention centre in the heart of bustling Atlanta's business district to declare before a specially invited audience of local dignitaries and press that...
White House confirms that Anna Nicole Smith to be buried with full military honors
It is a week since Anna Nicole Smith died and yet America's grief continues unabated, citizens weep openly on the streets, shops are closed and pictures of the former model and humanitarian hang in every window.