Lake Jackson, Texas Dec17th 2007: (Ass.Mess.) Dr Ron Paul, prospective president of America and running mate of Hilary Clitoris told In Seine News that he has some good news for America which will guarantee them to r...
The infamous rock band Led Zeppelin are to team up with the popular TV characters, The Smurfs, to record a one-off Christmas album. The album is to be recorded in a helium filled studio to maintain the classic Smurf high pitched voice effect.
Washington D.C. (IPP) - The Federal Mattress Tag Removal Enforcement Division (FMTRED) working under the office of the Secretary of the Interior announced today that it is stepping up enforcement of mattress tag removal violations.
[Celebrity Babyland -Africa]: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have found the perfect Christmas gift for their brood of Jolie-Pitts. Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax will have a new set of co...
Murphy, North Carolina (IPP) - An Ingles Grocery store clerk lost $100,000 in cash today.
Earlier today explorers from the UK discovered a land which is occupied by a new civilization...
[RIYADH, SAU-D(OM)I A-RAPIA]: In his most benevolent act of the year, King Abdullah took time from falcon-hunting and camel-racing to pardon a gang-rape victim. Th...
Indianapolis, IN - The Children's Museum of Indianapolis recently opened an exhibit called "The Power of Children" which features three famous children; Ryan White, Anne Frank and... some black kid from the 60's.
The annual haj pilgrimage began in Mecca on Monday when hundreds of thousands of Muslim pilgrims put on their dancing shoes for a big 'ol shindig.
Amidst a flurry of attention stemming from his inclusion in the Mitchell Report detailing steroid use in Major League Baseball, seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens released a one-page written denial of all charges made against him.
Conservative talk show host, author, and defender of Christmas Bill O'Reilly announced today that he is legally changing his first name to Jesus Christ.
Mr Ronald Snodbury, 44, of Hemsbury in Yorks was fined yesterday for Farting on a train in an unacceptable manner.
TRENTON - New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine is outlawing the death penalty in the Garden State. "We are replacing capital punishment with 'Life in New Jersey' without the possibility of parole. Capital punishment is a piec...
A council in the North of England has banned residents from walking with their dogs in the town centre during the Christmas Period. An emergency by-law was passed in an extraordinary but acrimonious council session.
Cleveland - (Disaster Mess): Just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder yet another seismic tremor has hit the case of fraudulent 'missing' canoeist John Darwin.
Failed presidential candidate Al Gore is flying into Canada tonight to protest to God that the recent cold weather there has made his global warming predictions look ridiculous.
Cleveland - (Disaster Mess): The two adult sons of fraudster canoeist John Darwin have been advised to hire the same firm of lawyers as used by the McCanns after a week of headline news asserting they are 'mere victims' of their parents'...
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL -- Over three millennia after He decreed to Moses the rules by which all mankind should live, God finally confessed yesterday that one of the Ten Commandments was "a colossal wind-up."...
CROYDON, ENGLAND -- Filtr8 Ltd, a leading producer of office water purification and filtration units, is a veritable hotbed of rumour-mongering and tittle-tattle, workers breathlessly revealed yesterday.
The Duke of Edinburgh joked with Diana, Princess of Wales, that he wasn't part of any plot to kill her in a car crash in the Alma Tunnel on August 31, 1997, according to a previously unpublished letter shown at the High Court.
A government investigation carried out into the causes of Mad Cow Disease or, to give it its scientific name, Meatpie Spongiform Shakeaboutabit (BSE), has concluded that steak and kidney pies consumed at football stadiums we...
New Zealand, home of the kiwi, a flightless, chicken-sized bird with hair-like feathers and a long curved beak with nostrils at it's tip; home also to the kakapo, the world's largest parrot (up to 3.5kg.), wh...
Last Saturday the National Aeronautics Space Administration (NASA) has seen peculiar signs of a super tsunami heading to the coastline of the United States, several independent research facilities have confirmed this and just yesterday, President Geo...
Last Friday US President George W. Bush has signed his resignation order which will be effective this Friday.
During US election campaigns, 2000, Al Gore tried everything possible to win, for instance, kissing his wife on the stage in Hollywood style, while his wife almost suffocated. According to BBC that kiss "helped Gore emerge from Clinton's shadow.", but the overcast was too thick. Someone with a lower IQ than Al Gore, 133, might have interpreted that as Al Gore being a great kisser! Ho...
Surging Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee reached a new high this week following questions about his denial of the theory of evolution. His poll numbers skyrocketed as the American public finally found a candidate in sync with their vie...
Mitt Romney showed up the Ron Paul campaign today, with $10 million in donations. The rag tag Ron Paul team planned a "money bomb" which is expected to raise approximately $6 million in one day. Romney bested that by donating his own money.
Al Gore continued his crusade for environmental entrepreneurship today, announcing that he has invented a new method to use wind power for ships on the high seas. Amid growing controversy about the impact of shipping on global warming, Gore's pro...
North Pole - In a recent press conference today, NSA officials announced that they have reached an agreement with North Pole representatives allowing the US government to have access to the countless files of information collected by Santa Claus and...
London, England - After their successful reunion tour, the Spice Girls announced at the O2 Arena in London that they would be taking on new professional stage names, reflecting their lifestyle changes. The Spice Girls will no longer be referred to as...
An Australian man who has been living homeless for 8 years on the streets of Sydney blasted the Government, saying that life for hundreds of homeless people like himself was "crap" and...