Funny story:  Second Study of U.S. Administration Communications Released

Second Study of U.S. Administration Communications Released

Researchers from St. Andrews University in Scotland published a paper on the "Linguistical Interactions Between Primary and Secondary level Administrative Offices of the U.S Legislature for Communication to the American Voter" in the New Sc...
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Funny story:  Princeton President Pilfers Prized Papers from Parsonage

Princeton President Pilfers Prized Papers from Parsonage

Princeton President Paul Purdue possibly pilfered prized papers from Pentwhistle Parsonage in Philadelphia. Policeman Perry Pines postulated the pilfering possibly pre-dated prolonged parties and pantyraids with Pittsburgh Penguins President Peter P...
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Funny story:  Manchester United Signs Fetus Still in Womb

Manchester United Signs Fetus Still in Womb

MANCHESTER, England (Heewack News Network) -- Manchester United continued its flurry of off-season activity by announcing it had signed Fetus McCLetus, the soon-to-be son of Mary and Kenneth McCletus of Woking.
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Funny story:  Ron Paul Mails Out Political Pictures With "Spanking the Monkey Instructions"?

Ron Paul Mails Out Political Pictures With "Spanking the Monkey Instructions"?

Presidential candidate Ron Paul used his congressional postal rights and mailed out three hundred promotional pictures of himself (to all of his supporters) along with instructions for masturbating to his picture, boxes of tissue, and bottles of vase...
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Funny story:  U.S. Men Prefer Bikinis To Wedding Dresses

U.S. Men Prefer Bikinis To Wedding Dresses

In a recent poll of 100,000 U.S. males a surprising number of men revealed that they found women wearing bikinis more sexually attractive than women wearing wedding gowns.
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Funny story:  Prince Harry bitten by tarantula on holiday

Prince Harry bitten by tarantula on holiday

Botswana - (Ass mess) A spider related to the African strain of the tarantula family reportedly bit holidaying Prince Harry on the ass yesterday, and had to be put down after contracting food poisoning.
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Funny story:  Britney Spears Claims Virginity Again

Britney Spears Claims Virginity Again

Britney Spears, who claimed virginity up through her marriage to ex-husband Kevin Federline, has publically declared that she is once again a virgin. Stating that she is chaste, moral, and pure in her life and not a "skanky ho," Spears said that she...
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Funny story:  New Space Shuttle Debris Found in Orbit

New Space Shuttle Debris Found in Orbit

More remains of the space shuttle Columbia have been found above the earth. A toilet seat that survived the blast is in a stationary orbit over Southern California.
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Funny story:  Russian spooks claim US "Mothman" acoustic gun destroyed  Minneapolis bridge

Russian spooks claim US "Mothman" acoustic gun destroyed Minneapolis bridge

Bloodyvostok, Russia - (Pravda): The science arm of Russian intelligence has claimed that Wednesday's Minneapolis freeway bridge collapse disaster was caused by a Pentagon acoustic weapon burst just like the one in the 1967 destruction of the Sil...
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Funny story:  Hottie Shows Boobs At Mall, Gets Arrested

Hottie Shows Boobs At Mall, Gets Arrested

A hot, beautiful, busty 20-year-old Swedish female pop singer was arrested today by mall police for flashing her boobs in the Glendale Galleria, located in Glendale, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.
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Funny story:  Celebrity Saturation News Soothes the Western Mind

Celebrity Saturation News Soothes the Western Mind

Hollywood, California (IP) - Americans and other members of western society are being bombarded daily with inane news about their favorite movie and sports stars. Propaganda and mass communication specialist Ebenezer Finootch was asked why this phen...
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Funny story:  Obama Threatens Discrimination Lawsuit if He Isn't Nominated and Elected

Obama Threatens Discrimination Lawsuit if He Isn't Nominated and Elected

Senator Obama, a leading candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination, has declared that he will sue his party on charges of racial discrimination if he is not nominated. Further, he has stated that he will sue the United States of Ame...
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Funny story:  Bush uses 'charades' to talk

Bush uses 'charades' to talk

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Presidential communication method of George W Bush resembles a game of charades, a study suggests.
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Funny story:  Taliban Personnel Lacking in Social Skills

Taliban Personnel Lacking in Social Skills

Palm Beach High School, West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Social studies teacher Ebenezer Finootch has written an informative book describing how members of the Taliban may be lacking in some social skills. Mr. Finootch has been studying this issue in...
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Funny story:  Firms withdraw BNP Fascistbook ads

Firms withdraw BNP Fascistbook ads

Cyberspace - (Ass Mess): The controversial wingnut networking website Fascistbook.com has confirmed that six major firms have withdrawn advertising material after they appeared on a British National Party page.
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Funny story:  Holiday Hell: Bags Held Up At London's Heathrow Airport

Holiday Hell: Bags Held Up At London's Heathrow Airport

London Heathrow's Terminal 4 was closed down today after the British Prime Minister convened an emergency meeting of Cobra, the UK government's civil contingencies committee.
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton To Open Rehab Facility: Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears to be First Clients!

Paris Hilton To Open Rehab Facility: Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears to be First Clients!

In Los Angelos today it was good news for lost starlets struggling to stay sober. Paris Hilton has started the first of what will be a chain of rehab centers, called "Tough Love", to be located at Hilton Resorts around the world.
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Funny story:  Ham Radios Found to be Edible

Ham Radios Found to be Edible

Dayton, Ohio (IP) Ham operator and experimenter KR4ZYNU7 has been doing a lot of ham radio experimentation as he waits out the next 11 year solar cycle peak.
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Funny story:  Taliban Opening Up T-Bay Cyber Auction Site

Taliban Opening Up T-Bay Cyber Auction Site

Taliban City, Talibania (IP) - On the scene reporter Ebenezer Finootch reports that Taliban industries has announced the grand opening of a cyber auction site that will be called T-bay. Mr. Finootch reports that it will resemble the very popular and...
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Funny story:  Was Brian May's PhD astronomy thesis the brains behind Virgin's rocket disaster?

Was Brian May's PhD astronomy thesis the brains behind Virgin's rocket disaster?

London - (Asstronomy Mess): FBI investigators probing last week's fatal Virgin Intergalactic rocket blast have shifted their probe to Queen guitarist Brian May who is reported today to have handed in his astronomy PhD thesis for consideration by...
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Funny story:  American Idle going to Afghanistan

American Idle going to Afghanistan

Islamsobad, Afghanistan (IP) - Ebenezer Finootch, our on the scene entertainment reporter, had to run through some mine fields and dodge both friendly and not so friendly fire to bring us this story. Mr. Finootch was almost bitten by a cobra but luck...
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Funny story:  Eddie Murphy Denies All Knowledge Of Spice Girl Mel B And Her Baby

Eddie Murphy Denies All Knowledge Of Spice Girl Mel B And Her Baby

Hollywood actor Eddie Murphy has claimed in an interview, that he has never even heard of Spice Girl Mel B, let alone fathered her child.
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Funny story:  Virgin Mary museum slated to open ajacent to Vatican gift shop

Virgin Mary museum slated to open ajacent to Vatican gift shop

(Vatican City, Rome) - Vatican officials say the Blessed Virgin Mary Museum and Coffee Shop is slated to open in the grotto adjacent to the Vatican Gift Shop in mid November of this year.
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Funny story:  Double-whammy as Fate stalks Alaska's Corrupt Bastards

Double-whammy as Fate stalks Alaska's Corrupt Bastards

Esther Island, Alaska - (Disaster Press): For a Corrupt Bastards Club grandee to lose one pleasure boat in the balmy waters off Alaska is perhaps an understandable misfortune.
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Funny story:  Big Brother Tracey Thinks Big Brother Is Great (In So Many Words)

Big Brother Tracey Thinks Big Brother Is Great (In So Many Words)

Big Brother housemate, social theoriser and modern philosopher Tracey Well'ard, last night spoke about her plans after her time in the show is over.
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Funny story:  Taliban To Open Hair Salon Chain

Taliban To Open Hair Salon Chain

Taliban City, Talibania (IP) - Our global news reporter, Ebenezer Finootch, was informed by the Talibanic Public Relations Council that the Taliban will be opening a chain of hair and nail salons. Mr. Finootch advises those persons who would like to...
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Funny story:  Eating Broccoli And Cauliflower Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer

Eating Broccoli And Cauliflower Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer

Researchers in the US have found that regularly eating broccoli and cauliflower can greatly reduce the risk of developing deadly prostate cancer.
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Funny story:  Manchester United Sign 9-Year-Old Boy To Partner Tevez

Manchester United Sign 9-Year-Old Boy To Partner Tevez

Premiership champions Manchester United have made a significant delve into the transfer market this week to purchase a 9-year-old schoolboy to partner their other new signing Carlos Tevez.
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Funny story:  School Children Teach Themselves

School Children Teach Themselves

A school of 8-12 year olds from Bedfordshire have decided to teach themselves. They have sacked their teachers and discharged the headmaster. The school is now run by Adam Picket, 10.
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Funny story:  Study Shows Researchers Tired of Conducting Studies

Study Shows Researchers Tired of Conducting Studies

BERKELEY, CA (AP Newsliar) -- A new study conducted by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley has revealed that researchers are sick and tired of conducting studies.
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Funny story:  WolfWare In London Council Flat

WolfWare In London Council Flat

A Wolfware has been discovered hiding out in a council flat in London. The part wolf part ware man, goes by the name of "Growl".
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Funny story:  Smoker's Rebellion: Blackpool Landlord Sentenced

Smoker's Rebellion: Blackpool Landlord Sentenced

A Blackpool Landlord who persistently allowed his customers to smoke indoors was today sentenced for his crimes.
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Funny story:  Obama Wants US Attack on Pakistan for Big Oil and Israel

Obama Wants US Attack on Pakistan for Big Oil and Israel

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - In a major address, Senator Barak Obama was admitted that he is a "dedicated warmonger on behalf of Israel and Big Oil" and would attack Moslems in Pakistan "for the hell of it."...
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Funny story:  Worlds Oldest Gynecologist Has Seen Over 10 Million Vaginas and Supports Ron Paul!

Worlds Oldest Gynecologist Has Seen Over 10 Million Vaginas and Supports Ron Paul!

The world's oldest Gynecologist is Ethan Smith, from Newt, Maine, who is 110 years old this July. He is an avid Ron Paul supporter and claims he has seen so many vaginas he can barely enjoy sex anymore.
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Funny story:  Colditz: a holiday destination with a difference

Colditz: a holiday destination with a difference

Colditz Castle, once a prison used to keep Allied POWs is marketing itself as a holiday destination.
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Funny story:  Failed Films

Failed Films

A look at some films which never made it straight to DVD, let alone to the cinema.
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Funny story:  Introducing "Avenue of Glorious Acheivements" by Green Day

Introducing "Avenue of Glorious Acheivements" by Green Day

Today the well known band called Green Day decided to make a new song called "Avenue of Glorious Achievements." They say that this is to replace their old song of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."...
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Funny story:  Grass actually is Greener on the Other Side

Grass actually is Greener on the Other Side

Lexington, Kentucky (Weird Science Desk) - Horticulture experts at the University of Kentucky now have definitive proof that grass truly is always greener on the other side.
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Funny story:  Tennessean Appointed Premiere Authority on California

Tennessean Appointed Premiere Authority on California

CALIFORNIA (Sacramento Bee) - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has appointed public television personality Huell Howser to be the new 'Minister of California'. The surprise announcement happened overnight during a press conference in which Sch...
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Funny story:  El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días

El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días

Estados Unidos (El Sol de Tijuana) - Futbol y nacimiento buenos dias pescado. Con cerveza locales la American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) gracias de nada hombre. El Congreso liquado con huevo noticia manifestaciones los antiinmigrantes ilegal.
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Funny story:  Iran fires missiles at aid workers

Iran fires missiles at aid workers

It has been released that Iranian troops were given orders to fire missiles at voluntary aid workers.
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Funny story:  Space Shuttle Discovery launches safely

Space Shuttle Discovery launches safely

STS-007 the space shuttle Discovery launched safely due to freak weather conditions which meant that nothing went wrong.
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Funny story:  New Drug Promises to Boost Intellectual Ability

New Drug Promises to Boost Intellectual Ability

There seems to be no end to the pharmaceutical industry's quest to develop medications for any and all maladies afflicting humankind. The latest wonder drug is Cerebrenol, manufactured by the Brazilian pharmaceutical giant Mengele Labs, Inc.
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Funny story:  "Prezzers always good for a prezzer," claims London Mechanic

"Prezzers always good for a prezzer," claims London Mechanic

Folk hero and Sporting legend John Prescott was today praised for his charity work by Kilburn based Car mechanic Les Mitchell.
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Funny story:  Poor to help the Rich

Poor to help the Rich

In a remarkable turn around leaders of the so called "Third World Countries" are meeting next weekend to discuss the "The Spiritual Hunger" that is threatening to destroy the very fabric of Western Society.
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Funny story:  Jim Davidson does Satire

Jim Davidson does Satire

Who could have thought we would see the day when Nazi nutcase and self declared misogynist Jim Davidson attempted to write satire for the critically acclaimed website The Spoof.
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Funny story:  Jesus' Fingerprint Found on Tombstone

Jesus' Fingerprint Found on Tombstone

The fingerprint of a person called Jesus Nazareth has been found on an ancient stone in Rome.
View 'Jesus' Fingerprint Found on Tombstone'
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