Funny story:  Eddie the Eagle "flies" again

Eddie the Eagle "flies" again

Britain will have a new swimming hero at next years Olympics and that someone will be "Eddie the Eel", formerly known as "Eddie the Eagle".
View 'Eddie the Eagle "flies" again'
Funny story:  Bush Declares National Emergency!

Bush Declares National Emergency!

In a special address to the nation today, President George W. Bush has announced his plan for addressing the economic emergency caused by hyper-inflation of the fiat US dollar and Congress' runaway spending on war and entitlement programs.
View 'Bush Declares National Emergency!'
Funny story:  Hillary the first black woman president of the United States?

Hillary the first black woman president of the United States?

Washington DC - (ReUterus): "Sure I can do black, why ever not?" Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton said today.
View 'Hillary the first black woman president of the United States?'
Funny story:  Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

Canary Wharf, Shitty of London - (Ass Mess): Hedge Funds, a term synonymous with Bush Slush Funds only even bigger, are financial scams open to invitation-only mobster cartels wanting to make a packet without paying any tax on earnings and run withou...
View 'Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn'
Funny story:  Oldest Woman, Who Stole for Booze, Dies

Oldest Woman, Who Stole for Booze, Dies

(Japan) The world's oldest living person, Yone Minagawa, has died at age 114. She was as sprightly as ever until her last moments, noted her carer on Tuesday.
View 'Oldest Woman, Who Stole for Booze, Dies'
Funny story:  It's gonna be terrible for the Clintons

It's gonna be terrible for the Clintons

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Flushed from yet another triumph of pubic speaking at Greenwich's O2 Arena, formerly The Dome, ex-US President Bill Clinton was feted tonight by London's glitterati who had come to worship at Moloch's throne a...
View 'It's gonna be terrible for the Clintons'
Funny story:  Branson chatshow tantrum over Virgin rocket that bombed

Branson chatshow tantrum over Virgin rocket that bombed

New York - (Ass Mess): Richard Branson has shown New York just what a puny prick he really is when his pitiful, massively over-inflated male ego sustained a brusing on a live chatshow hosted by Stephen Colbert.
View 'Branson chatshow tantrum over Virgin rocket that bombed'
Funny story:  Worst Ever Case Of Tapeworm Found In South London

Worst Ever Case Of Tapeworm Found In South London

CROYDON, Saaf London (Defecated News) - Things in South London are grim. Murders, drugs, gangs, guncrime and smelly people generally. But now, it would appear, things have gotten worse, much worse, oh yes, I ain't kidding, just w...
View 'Worst Ever Case Of Tapeworm Found In South London'
Funny story:  Tom DeLay To Form PAC With Ahmed Chalabi

Tom DeLay To Form PAC With Ahmed Chalabi

(Houston--Texas) Recently deposed House Majority Leader Tom Delay isn't letting the possibility of jail time stop from future political plans. DeLay announced today that he will be relocating to Iraq, and he and Ahmed Chalabi will be forming a po...
View 'Tom DeLay To Form PAC With Ahmed Chalabi'
Funny story:  Jack Ruby Da Movie

Jack Ruby Da Movie

LONDON (Defecated News) - Conspiracy Productions based in Los Angeles have announced here in London today that they will be making a biographical movie of Jack Ruby, the man who killed Lee Harvey Oswald, the man who killed JFK, the m...
View 'Jack Ruby Da Movie'
Funny story:  Lois Lane Says She Is Having Superman's Baby

Lois Lane Says She Is Having Superman's Baby

(Metropolis) - Newspaper reporter, Lois Lane, today reported on her own pregnancy. According to the Daily Planet, Lois is having a baby with her long time life partner, Superman, aka the Man of Steel, Clark Kent, etc.
View 'Lois Lane Says She Is Having Superman's Baby'
Funny story:  New Britney Spears Dolls Arrive For Chrsitmas

New Britney Spears Dolls Arrive For Chrsitmas

LONDON (Defecated News) - Thousands of boxes have arrived from China in preparation for what could be the biggest selling children's toy ever. The new Britney Spears doll will be on sale from September and is se...
View 'New Britney Spears Dolls Arrive For Chrsitmas'
Funny story:  OMFG! I  just l-u-r-v-e Brad so much I'll even stop shagging slags, says Angelina

OMFG! I just l-u-r-v-e Brad so much I'll even stop shagging slags, says Angelina

Hollywood, California - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): "I'll do absolutely anything to keep my man's attention," Angelina Jolie has told reporters.
View 'OMFG! I  just l-u-r-v-e Brad so much I'll even stop shagging slags, says Angelina'
Funny story:  15 August: The Feastday of the  Assumption of Mary

15 August: The Feastday of the Assumption of Mary

Vatican City - (ReUterus): "We always assumed 15 of August was the right date that the UFO came for Mary and zapped her up to heaven, body and soul" says a Vatican Official Doctrine Committee enclyclical about the Blessed Virgin Mary's...
View '15 August: The Feastday of the  Assumption of Mary'
Funny story:  Mattel Recalls Billions Of Toys

Mattel Recalls Billions Of Toys

Mattel, the US toymaker, has recalled billions of toys for the second time in two weeks, because traces of the food additive Monosodium glutamate (MSG) were found in them.
View 'Mattel Recalls Billions Of Toys'
Funny story:  Bahrain's Prince Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa sues Michael Jackson

Bahrain's Prince Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa sues Michael Jackson

Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Law Briefs News): Singer Michael Jackson is being sued in London's Royal Courts of Justice by the Emir of Bahrain's son Prince Abdullah over the return of a master demo tape the two made together in 2005 fea...
View 'Bahrain's Prince Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa sues Michael Jackson'
Funny story:  Tony Blair to have his own Chat Show

Tony Blair to have his own Chat Show

ITV has announced an incredible coo (what's the word ed?) over it's rivals in securing a prime time chat show with none other than Tony Blair presenting...
View 'Tony Blair to have his own Chat Show'
Funny story:  Big Brother Begs Shilpa Shetty "Come Back"

Big Brother Begs Shilpa Shetty "Come Back"

Yes, in a sensational new development it can now be revealed that Big Brother is desperate for Shilpa Shetty to return.
View 'Big Brother Begs Shilpa Shetty "Come Back"'
Funny story:  NRC advises NASA to start a search for "weird life" replacement for Capt Lisa Nowak

NRC advises NASA to start a search for "weird life" replacement for Capt Lisa Nowak

Cape Canaveral, Florida - (Ass Mess): The US government's space advisor, the National Research Council, has urged NASA to start a search for what it describes as "weird life" to replace disgraced love-tug astronut Captain Lisa Nowak fol...
View 'NRC advises NASA to start a search for "weird life" replacement for Capt Lisa Nowak'
Funny story:  Apple Thieves Killed By Local Hero

Apple Thieves Killed By Local Hero

Labia, SOMERSET (Defecated News) - At the tail-end of what has been a nightmare summer for local apple farmers, high levels of stolen produce leaves one farmer with no alternative - to kill the little thieving bastards. And yesterday...
View 'Apple Thieves Killed By Local Hero'
Funny story:  Disruption at Heathrow Protests

Disruption at Heathrow Protests

It seems the bad weather which dogged the UK in July is continuing as torrential rain hits east London.
View 'Disruption at Heathrow Protests'
Funny story:  Sp**f Writer Faces Axe Over Net Usage

Sp**f Writer Faces Axe Over Net Usage

Reports are coming in this morning about a worker facing dismissal for using an internet site instead of doing some hard graft. The story, carried 'on the wind' by word of mouth whispers, relates to an employee of a global enterprise, who, it is a...
View 'Sp**f Writer Faces Axe Over Net Usage'
Funny story:  Sri Lankan Wins £4m In Racism Case.

Sri Lankan Wins £4m In Racism Case.

LONDON (Defecated News) - At the International Court Of Human Rights today, a British Sri Lankan was awarded £4.2m today after he successfully sued a high street burger restaurant for racism.
View 'Sri Lankan Wins £4m In Racism Case.'
Funny story:  Furtive Glance at Friends Penis in Locker Room Makes You Gay

Furtive Glance at Friends Penis in Locker Room Makes You Gay

Authorities from the Society To Regulate Abnormal Impulses and Gay-Homo Temptation (S.T.R.A.I.G.H.T.) have confirmed that even a passing glance at the flaccid penis of another male makes you homosexual.
View 'Furtive Glance at Friends Penis in Locker Room Makes You Gay'
Funny story:  AFGHANISTAN - the musical!

AFGHANISTAN - the musical!

Yes, Afghanistan. For years, we've loved it as a country, dreamt of its sexy culture, and marveled at its global standing as a leader in agriculture, industry, and diplomacy.
View 'AFGHANISTAN - the musical!'
Funny story:  Dear Mr. Beale - How to (not) Be Alone

Dear Mr. Beale - How to (not) Be Alone

Dear Mr. Beale, My wife recently left me, and I've been very alone. All the self help books I've been reading tell me I was in a co...
View 'Dear Mr. Beale - How to (not) Be Alone'
Funny story:  iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function

iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function

How nifty is the new iphone?! It does everything. You can phone your friends, text message them, email them, chat with them; listen to your music, watch your movies, surf the web; use the built-in swiss army knife to open beers, and 8 or 9 later stab a friend; and otherwise pretend that technology is making your more rather than less social. All in that with a touch-sensitive screen in a little sm...
View 'iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function'
Funny story:  The Ballad of Henri Paul

The Ballad of Henri Paul

The following, upon the tenth anniversary of the tragic demise of Princess Di, is a fairly accurate accounting of what actually transpired the night that Perky Yellow Flame beloved by so many, was extinguished. Herewith is:...
View 'The Ballad of Henri Paul'
Funny story:  National Lottery As Hard To Win As Ever

National Lottery As Hard To Win As Ever

A survey commissioned by the sister company of gambling facilitator Camelot, has revealed that the National Lottery is as hard to win as ever, and that many people "don't even get their money back".
View 'National Lottery As Hard To Win As Ever'
Funny story:  Paris - Oh Brother!

Paris - Oh Brother!

From the wealthy doors of Hilton Hotels, exploding news that Paris Hilton will now take part in Big Brother popular show.
View 'Paris - Oh Brother!'
Funny story:  Hilton tells Lampard "I'm pregnant and its yours!" Mourinho say he's proud!

Hilton tells Lampard "I'm pregnant and its yours!" Mourinho say he's proud!

Reports have surfaced that Chelsea star Frank Lampard has checked into the Paris Hilton (talent-less socialite, not the French location of the popular hotel chain), resulting in the conception of a child.
View 'Hilton tells Lampard "I'm pregnant and its yours!" Mourinho say he's proud!'
Funny story:  Britney Spears Sucks Face, Topless in Pool With College, Boy Toy

Britney Spears Sucks Face, Topless in Pool With College, Boy Toy

According to one of Britney Spears latest flings, Britney was fun to squeeze and fondle, she's firm and supple and she's a champion kisser. Pretty tight and impressive for a mother of two.
View 'Britney Spears Sucks Face, Topless in Pool With College, Boy Toy'
Funny story:  Karl Rove Quits White House to be Disneyland Greeter

Karl Rove Quits White House to be Disneyland Greeter

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Karl Rove, the ruthless political genius backing President Bush in his takeover of the Presidency and the political adviser of nearly seven years, announced his resignation Monday to become a greeter at Disneyland.
View 'Karl Rove Quits White House to be Disneyland Greeter'
Funny story:  Albany County Supreme Court Races Against Time

Albany County Supreme Court Races Against Time

Altamont, NY (Times Union Staff Writer) - According to locals here, the only thing sweeter than the upcoming apple harvest and eventual cider-drinking could be the legal showdown currently brewing in the Albany County Supreme Court.
View 'Albany County Supreme Court Races Against Time'
Funny story:  Price Crash for Sub-Prime Players

Price Crash for Sub-Prime Players

Markets were in turmoil yesterday as the price of football players tumbled worldwide.
View 'Price Crash for Sub-Prime Players'
Funny story:  Britney Spears Naked - A Cool Band Name

Britney Spears Naked - A Cool Band Name

An enterprising female rock band has taken on a new name, and some controversy. Calling themselves Britney Spears Naked, the group hopes to capitalize on the huge internet search volume for that phrase to give them exposure to potent...
View 'Britney Spears Naked - A Cool Band Name'
Funny story:  Rescue of Princess Leads to Nastiest Sex in History of Enchanted Kingdom

Rescue of Princess Leads to Nastiest Sex in History of Enchanted Kingdom

Prince Charming found her in the tower-the lovely princess Willownella, very sleepy and very innocent. The dragon had kept men away for at least a 100 years.
View 'Rescue of Princess Leads to Nastiest Sex in History of Enchanted Kingdom'
Funny story:  Questions of Insincerity Could Invalidate Treaties

Questions of Insincerity Could Invalidate Treaties

A current United States president, speaking under the conditions of anonymity, told our people today that he and senior oval office staff are looking into the possibilities that several long-standing treaties and agreements with numerous European nat...
View 'Questions of Insincerity Could Invalidate Treaties'
Funny story:  A Bureaucrat Dies

A Bureaucrat Dies

San Francisco - A bureaucrat died today in a wildfire while hiking the less groomed regions of northern California. Witnesses said he was trying to help his family escape the rapidly approaching blaze by retreating along a hilly path.
View 'A Bureaucrat Dies'
Funny story:  Baby Names Become Increasingly Surreal Outlets for Parents' Suffocated Identities

Baby Names Become Increasingly Surreal Outlets for Parents' Suffocated Identities

Contemporary parents, tired of common, pronounceable designations like Emily or Michael, have been gravitating toward more elaborate, esoteric names for several decades. As culture has crested the 21st Century, American parents - who find their indiv...
View 'Baby Names Become Increasingly Surreal Outlets for Parents' Suffocated Identities'
Funny story:  Peeved Penn Pissed about Post

Peeved Penn Pissed about Post

Uber A-list actor's actor, Sean Penn has been disturbed by recent remarks conservatives have made about liberal activists - Hollywood liberals in particular, says a close Penn pal.
View 'Peeved Penn Pissed about Post'
Funny story:  Black Community Buries N-Word - White Community Switches to C-Word, J-Word, PM-Word, "Democrats"

Black Community Buries N-Word - White Community Switches to C-Word, J-Word, PM-Word, "Democrats"

While activists and leaders throughout the African-American community recently celebrated the "burial" of one of history's most ill-regarded racial epithets, the white American majority shrugged, and dusted off a shelf-full of less-prom...
View 'Black Community Buries N-Word - White Community Switches to C-Word, J-Word, PM-Word, "Democrats"'
Funny story:  Paris Hilton's Netflix List

Paris Hilton's Netflix List

Caged Heat The 500 Blows...
View 'Paris Hilton's Netflix List'
Funny story:  Shot Recipies You Gotta Try!

Shot Recipies You Gotta Try!

Sex on the Beach? A Blow Job? A Buttery Nipple? An Orgasm?...
View 'Shot Recipies You Gotta Try!'
Funny story:  Donald Duck & Goofy: The Taliban Killers

Donald Duck & Goofy: The Taliban Killers

Open on a lonely bar in the middle of the Nevada desert.
View 'Donald Duck & Goofy: The Taliban Killers'
Funny story:  FOX NEWS to launch FOX NEWS CLASSIC

FOX NEWS to launch FOX NEWS CLASSIC

In a move that surprised some and intrigued others and left still others vaguely indifferent, Rupert Murdoch introduced FOX NEWS CLASSIC to the cable viewing audience. The network will consist largely of old newsreels and editorials from local news c...
View 'FOX NEWS to launch FOX NEWS CLASSIC'
Funny story:  Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell

"I haven't gotten laid in six months, and Global Warming apparently is to blame," say local scientists.
View 'Global Warming Said to Cause My Six Month Dry Spell'
Funny story:  Studies Show that Experts Agree

Studies Show that Experts Agree

Recent research completed by credible third-party sources confirms overwhelmingly what some say: When it comes to reinforcing consensus, establishing baseline understanding, or evaluating overall trends, most experts agree.
View 'Studies Show that Experts Agree'
Funny story:  Sopranos Viewing Party Ends in Bloodbath

Sopranos Viewing Party Ends in Bloodbath

Hoboken, NJ - A Sopranos viewing party ended in a bloodbath Sunday at the home of a local teamster, Cosimo Mancini. The fighting apparently began after disappointed friends began arguing about the controversial ending to the popular HBO show about a...
View 'Sopranos Viewing Party Ends in Bloodbath'
Funny story:  Small Town to Eagerly Welcome New Dork

Small Town to Eagerly Welcome New Dork

Ferretsville, SC - In what is being hailed as "the best thing to happen around here in over a decade", the township of Ferretsville (Pop. 421) is welcoming Myron Wilburforce Tuppley (14, and small for his age) and his parents, Preston and D...
View 'Small Town to Eagerly Welcome New Dork'
Funny story:  Center for Disease Control Discovers Skanks Bad for your Health

Center for Disease Control Discovers Skanks Bad for your Health

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) in Atlanta, Georgia has discovered that association with "skanks is bad for your health. After a long, protracted study involving both skanks and control groups, it was determined that the skanks offered hig...
View 'Center for Disease Control Discovers Skanks Bad for your Health'
Funny story:  Gays accidentally let into U.S. military

Gays accidentally let into U.S. military

The U.S. military has reversed a long-standing policy and will now allow gays to serve openly in its ranks.
View 'Gays accidentally let into U.S. military'
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