AUGUSTA, GEORGIA--Tiger Woods denied rumors today that he is, after all, only a human being. The unrelenting string of questions challenging his divinity comes on the heels of a narrow loss at the Masters Golf tournament at Augusta, Georgia, which e...
In a bold move that has incensed Democrats, the Bush Administration announced today that it was going to "edit" the United States Constitution to bring it up-to-date.
Washington DC - (Disaster Press): Presidential contender John Edwards may be becoming increasingly mesmerised by the allure of the 1995 Michael Douglas romantic comedy The American President.
The Westminster Kennel Club which was founded in 1877 in North America has announced new criteria for judging canine conurbation. Now that scientists have discovered a gene affecting dog penis size, the WKC is adopting new standards.
(Washington, D.C.) It might as well be Ronald Reagan's second term during the Iran-Contra hearings when the line went "what did the President know and when did he forget it?" Just substitute "Alberto Gonzales" for "Presid...
Mexican Cesar Milan has been asked to return South of the Border in order to help authorities and the population there learn to live with their Chupacabras in peace.
Washington Toast - Reliable, unnamed, senior level, faceless, White House sources have disclosed, in a darkened downtown garage, after a red geranium potted plant was placed on a apartment fire escape, that Alberto Gonzales will be resigning soon, re...
Worldwide Animal Rights campaigners have been granted permission to let a Turkey run for President in the 2008 Election.
Larry Mullen Jr joined the Corrs this week sparking a musical merry go round as U2 scrambled to find a new drummer to finish recording their new album "How to save the world and reduce your tax bill with Honours"...
A Newsweek Magazine poll found that more than seven-eighths of Americans oppose President Bush's prolonged war in Iraq and his choice to send 21,000 more troops into harm's way without a timetable for withdrawal.
Springfield, Illinois - (Disaster Press): Illinois Senator Obama has announced a radical 2008 White House campaign measure today which has seen him change his first name to Borat.
TV Studios, London - (Ass Mess): Royal Navy sailor Faye Turney has defended her decision to sell her topless Iran photos for a reputed six figure sum after the Ministry of Defence caved in and accepted the standard 15% agency fee.
Millionaire sailor Faye Turney has revealed how she was separated from her colleagues, forced to strip to her panties and stockings and sleep on a small King Charles Spaniel during her "nightmare in Tehran".
The Vatican announced today that it is instituting the first Catholic draft since the Children's Crusade several hundred years ago. The draft is in response to a recent Vatican symposium on pedophilia and the sexual abuse of minors by priests.
The Pope has used his customary Easter address to call for world peace. However, as the masses nodded at the speech they've heard so many times, Pope Benedict shocked many when, straight after calling for peace, he called for chocolate.
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope stunned the (mainly left footed) faithful during his Easter address today by announcing he is to marry his long time partner, former Right Said Fred frontman, Richard Fairbrass.
After the harrowing events of last week, some Solomon Islanders felt as if they were reliving the nightmare once again yesterday.
Yes. the J-man is poking a little fun at the Mormons again. Read only if you wish to.