Spoof news stories from Sunday 15 April 2007
Mayan temple found in Man's navel
It has been confirmed in the scientific journal Nature that a small but perfectly intact Mayan temple has been found in a New York man's navel.
Swedish grandfather claims Bill Gates plagiarism
Jan Sorhlbaad is no ordinary Swedish grandfather. From first appearances, his modest (albeit damp) home and family are what you might expect. However shocking reports arrived today that could bring down the very fabric of society - yes, Microsoft its...
Bush asks Kate Middleton to work as White House intern
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The British Ambassador in Washington has been asked to put out feelers to Kate Middleton, the royal also-ran who dumped Prince William this weekend after six years of fag-hagging tabloid headlines.
Kate Middleton to get her own Memorial Fountain and large cheque
London - (Ass Mess): Sources close to the Royal Civil List have confirmed that Kate Middleton has been offered her very own Memorial Fountain in the Rotten Row area of Hyde Park and an appropriate expenses' cheque covering the last six years of f...
Missing E-mails Found to Be Blondes; Cable News Stars Vow to Help Find Them
DISSOCIATED PRESS - Several stars of cable TV news, previously uninterested in pursuing the White House "missing e-mails" story, have vowed to devote every minute of their programs to assisting in the quest to find them until every last los...
Royal Wedding souvenir crockery industry goes down the pan
Royal Derby - (Old Crocks Press): Ten thousand jobs at British crockery factories around the UK will be lost following the news that there will no royal engagement, no royal wedding and no point in collecting over fifty million items of the House of...
This Week in History
A look back at significant events that took place during the third week of April throughout history:...
President Re-Finances Ownership Society
President Bush announced today that he was Borrowing money to Solidify his "Ownership Society"...
President Bush looking forward to the end of his term
Washington (Spoof International News) - President Bush admitted on Thursday night's Charlie Rose show that he is gleefully counting down the days till the end of his second term.
Intelligent Life Exists on Mars Article in Science Claims.
A paper to be published today in the prestigious journal Nature claims to prove intelligent life exists on Mars. The paper, written by a team of scientists led by Dr. James Hansen of NASA, claims that the melting of the Martian polar...
Scientific test for glass half full
Constant University Press - Scientists at Imperial University, Texas have unveiled a device that can deduce whether a glass is indeed "half full" or "half empty". It consists of a level plate (on which the glass i...
Prince William and Kate Middleton Breakup: A Hoax!
It appears that the press has a lot of egg on its face today after it was announced that the breakup between Prince William and Kate Middleton was just a prank.
Man turns father into musical instrument
Czech Republic Gazette - In an effort to stave off the inevitable poverty of his family, a young man - Dimitri Ilyava (23) has devoted the last 2 years to perfecting a street act that is labelled as bizarre by some and genius by othe...
Don Ho (no relation) dead
Honolulu - (Ironic Press): An ironic twist of fate has sealed a week dominated by headlines linking Don (Imus) and Ho (Nappy-headed variety) with the news that 'Tiny Bubbles' crooner Don Ho has died at the age of 76.
The Wishful Want Ads
Housing
Couple seeks apartment to rent, 3 bedrooms minimum, central city location only, 2nd or 3rd floor, high ceilings, fully furni...
Cigarette recall triggered by discovery of healthful substance
Trace amounts of retinol, or vitamin A, a substance that improves eyesight, skin quality and general health in humans, were found in several production lots of filter cigarettes at the Rigget & Lyers tobacco plant in Coughlin, North Carolina.
Congress adopts legislation on talent-to-looks ratio in recording industry
The United States Congress has followed the lead of the Executive Council of the European Union in passing strongly-worded legislation that makes it a crime for record producers to sign contracts with singers based on decisions in which physical appe...
WritingGuy Discovers His Special Area
WritingGuy has admitted to sources this morning that he has discovered his special area. He released a statement this morning to explain:...
Penge Man's Plastic Surgery Goes All Middle Earth
A man from Penge who was a former male model, is today starting a lawsuit against St Guy's hospital for a plastic surgery operation that has gone horribly wrong.
No More Fun At The Palace For Kate Middleton's Pussy
The people of Britain have woken up today to news so devastating that it could signal the end of these great Islands for ever.
George Bush Declares War on Israel
In his Speech to the Nation, President George Bush declared war on Israel. The President declared, "You can just look at a picture of Jesus and tell he's a member of Al-Qaeda. Look at him. He looks like Osama Bin Laden. Besides, you can t...
Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson Repent, Media-Free For 90 Days
(New Brunswick) -- In the Sprit of Rutgers, as part of their self-imposed repentance to atone for prejudging shock jock Don Imus for yadda blah blah, spiritual leaders and media ho's Rev. Al Sharp Tongue and Rev. Jymie Jackson have checked into a...
Billy Graham Calls for Eddie Murphy to be Fired, George Bush Comments
Following the recent outpour calling for Don Imus' job, Rev. Billy Graham called for Eddie Murphy's job, citing the frequent use of anti-white racist language. He also intends to address the jobs of Chris Rock and almost every other African-...
Britney Spears Chases NBA Star Luke Walton of L.A. Lakers
Pop tart Britney Spears is the newest L.A. Laker season ticket holder since her release from rehab. The reason plays forward for those Lakers: Luke Walton. Walton is the son of former NBA and UCLA great Bill Walton.
Letters To TheSpoof.com. April 15, 2007
<div align=center>Letters To TheSpoof.com.
As of 4/15/2007</div>...
Wolfowitz Begs forgiveness!
Paul Wolfowitz, one of the architects of the Neo-Con plan to dethrone Saddam Hussein and capture his dreaded weapons of mass destruction, is asking the world's forgiveness!...
Flipper Captures Bin Laden!
At Naval base Point Loma in San Diego Harbor, dolphins and sea lions have been trained since the days of the Cold War to spot and captures enemy underwater invaders. Despite the high confidence in this submariner mammalian program, all involved were...
Abstinence Programs Found to Have Little Effect!
Much to the suprise of Bush administration supporters of Abstinence only sex education, graduates of these programs have the same rate of premarital sex as students who never were exposed to Just Say No Sex Ed (JSNSE) .
Evil Geordies wrecked our house
An English couple were yesterday being consoled by relatives after a crowd of between 200-300 Geordies ransacked their nice detached house.
Gonzo's "Golf Card" Shows the Score
Avid golfer and torture supporter, Alberto Gonzales, showed investigators his golf card approach to the controversial firings of US Attorneys. FBI sleuth, Slueth Sangiovese, formerly of the Organized Crime Division (OCD) , interpreted the newest, lat...
Wolfowitz's girlfriend also shagged Gordon Brown
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown's frequent trips to the International Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement - a.k.a. the World Bank - may have been more for pleasure than purely business according to pri...
Green Zone Attacks Blamed on Gorebal Warming
Bush administration apologists, who have been working 24/7 to defend the Suckcess-full Surge in Baghdad, have been momentarily embarrassed by the bombings in the so called secure 'Green Zone' where Americans and other su-peer-ee-a-rear beings...
AskFrFred Takes Aleve!
Fr Frederick The Great Titslesin, after returning from his Mexican Riviera Cruise and Alpine Skiing vacation has announced a Leave of absence.
Cheney Says He Is Father of Gay Daughter's Baby, Danny Lynn
(An Undisclosed Bunker) -- Vice President and Bush White House adult-supervisor Richard "Dick" Cheney (R-1919) in a stunning declaration admitted yesterday that he, not Larry Birkhead, is the "donor dad" to his daughter Mary's...
Buster and the baby Angel, Chapter 18
Lilly stood proudly before her recently screaming accomplishment. Her not so long ago ecstatic looked up at his objecto de entusiasmo and pled: "Please be real" "What can be realerer than 'sucky sucky' (quoting her only favorite line from the otherwise ridiculous Officer and A Gentleman) ."Imaginary sucky sucky?", replied the then freaked out freak. To which the Li...
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