Spoof news stories from Tuesday 24 October 2006
That Poison Control Bitch Dissed My Baby Daddy
Hey it's me Anise, just wantin' ta warn ya'll and tell ya'll what happen ta me and Cadre th'other day.
Results of "Congressional Sexual Pleasure" Survey Released
WASHINGTON (AP)--A psychosexual research study by the University of Maryland into sexual pleasure among senior Republican members of Congress and in the White House has found "a truly amazing degree of sexual activity" among the anonymous p...
Heather Mills McCartney Says " I Am So Switching To De-Caf"
Paul McCartney's soon-to-be ex-wife, Heather Mills McCartney, says she has decided to switch to decaffeinated coffee.
Iran Announces It Believes In The Big Bang Theory
The Fount of Human Knowledge, Tehran Hypothetical Library and Reading School, Iran---At a hastily assembled scientific conference of literate Imams and politically correct Mullahs dedicated to advancing the frontiers of human knowledge, Iranian Presi...
North Korea tests second nucular bomb - Iran invaded!
Tehran - National Geological Societies in Russia, South Korea and Japan reported an underground nuclear detonation occurred in North Korea at 19.35hrs local time. This is the second blast in 12 days. The second detonation was twice as powe...
Illuminati want Queen light show until Hallowe'en
London - (Associated Mess): Plans to lighten up the facade of Buckingham Palace until the end of the month are proving popular with the Bavarian Illuminati's Euro-Septic division, after complaints that many potential Tory-voting financial donors...
Lord Lucan, Shergar & Saddam's missing $$$$$$$$$s "under Buck House patio"
London - (Associated Mess): Police investigating some of the most puzzling unsolved crimes of the 20th century want to obtain a warrant to dig up the back garden at Buckingham Palace following surprising new leads in the Lord Lucan disappearance mys...
Cash-for-peerages probe: Hellfire Club unveils new royal likeness
London - (Associated Mess): A new portrait of the Queen has gone on show at the Hellfire Club's gallery in central London showing their Patron caught in typical regal pose moments after being told the Anti-Corruption cops want to interview her...
Lieberman cannot stop his nose from growing during recent debate.
In the recent Hartford debate, incumbent Senator Joe Lieberman (aka LieberMEforME) could not stop his nose from growing. Due to the barrage of lies, Liebermans nose grew more than 17 inches long. The crowd present was in disbelief, as his nose dart...
Gandalf bored with beard - tries for sideburns
Gandalf, beloved wizard and astrologer, has announced today in Cosmopolitan Wizz magazine, that he is attempting to grow some "wicked sideburns". In the article, the one some call Mithrandir, said:...
Thundercats stage siege in Mumm-Ra's favourite café
The Thundercats are said to be placing a café in downtown Rarston, just outside the sentry outpost of Mummra Station, under siege and embargo. In a statement released through Al Cheetara TV, the Thundercats announced:...
Gordon Ramsey to head up international Anger Management Committee
Amiable and renowned Chef, Gordon Ramsay, has been tipped to become the head of a newly formed international committee into the study and abolition of anger in our modern society. Ramsay, 40, is said to be delighted with the opportunity to show the w...
Bush Says US Economy "Doing Great" Until It Collapses After Elections
WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- President George W. Bush said on Monday that the US economy "is really doing great" until it collapses right after the November 7 Congressional elections.
White House Water Boarding
Washington, D.C. - It has recently been disclosed by a water soaked eye witness, that the use of water boarding is alive and well, and practiced in the White House basement on dissenting voices.