Spoof news stories from Thursday 12 January 2006
Fiction Writer Admits Making Up Everything
NEW YORK - Damian Quirky, a noted fiction writer, held a press conference here today, and admitted making up everything in his fictional novels and short stories.
Sony's Kitty Amplifier 'Floors em Flat' at CES '06
Imagine YOUR kitty, amplified for sound, himself a walking, purring 85 watt BOOMBOX playing your favorites at YOUR command. Guests at '06's CES marveled in awe as dozens of 'sonically enhanced' cats scampered wildly up then...
Irish Government To Introduce New Pedestrian Speed Limits For City Centre
Ireland- The Irish government have called time on reckless pedestrians. Following the recent spate of Dublin shoppers bumping into one another, Transport Minister, Martin Cullen, has announced that new speed limits -some as low as 5kph (3mph)...
He-Man Kills Skeletor, Bush Applauds
After years of brutal, yet never fatal, combat, He-Man, Master of the Universe, has killed Skeletor, the self-proclaimed "Prince of Darkness" and He-Man's arch nemisis. He-Man claims the death was "accidental", and only attack...
MacRae admits Six Bellies could leave
The Old One Two chairman Sir Kerr MacRae admits he could lose the huge necked sensation Richard Six Bellies Adams next month.
Paris Hilton's Dog Inspires Chihuahua Leather Fashion
New York, Jan. 12, 2005: Paris Hilton's habit of carrying around her pets like they were disposable fashion accessories has become a fashion in itself, spawning a new Chihuahua leather market.
Ruth Kelly to Face Grilling by MPs Over Allowing Children In Schools
Trouble is brewing for Education Secretary and man about town, Mr Ruth Kelly, as he admits sanctioning, the dangerous move, of allowing children to attend United Kingdom scholastic establishments.
Amelia Earhart Luggage Lost
JACKSONVILLE - This city at the top of the Florida peninsula is home to the headquarters of the American Tourister and Samsonite brands of luggage. And the company makes a luggage brand less well known - Amelia Earhart Luggage.