The anticipated virgin birth of a Komodo dragon lizard at Chester Zoo in England may be a hoax, if accusation currently pointing over across the Atlantic are to be proved. And as if Eddie Murphy has not got enough problems already, in a bizarre turn...
A magnificent giant squid was captured by Japanese scientists who were disappointed to learn that the mythical creature Godzilla had once again eluded capture. The giant squid was the first of it's species to be caught on video tape.
Wanna-be singer, media icon, and self proclaimed actress Hilary Duff is the latest to be immortalized with her own Barbie Doll. Features for the new Hilary Barbie include plastic expressions during acting scenes, easily removable clothing, hair that...
Ron Springs, former running back for the NFL Dallas Cowboys, needs a kidney transplant to live. That kidney is being donated by former defensive back and teammate, Everson Walls.
RCA Music has revealed the original lyrics to many of the now famous Christmas Carols. According to producer Mary Fielding, "Most carols did not start out the way they are now. Our now beloved Christmas music has changed a little."...
Top journalist and humanitarian, Breeze, told reporters of his fear that lonely fantasist, Chris Hanson, may be shot by police if he does not give himself up.
Macy's Department stores across the world have pulled Sean John jackets from the shelves after P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) reported that they were actually made from dogs. The manufactured had advertized that the hoode...
Pop star Prince, owner of the Internet announced today that the web must be shut down for a few minutes tonight while technicians back the whole thing up on his hard-drive.
Blarney Castle, Dublin - (Ass Mess): The Irish Embassy in Dublin has claimed today that the musician Bongo is to receive an honorary knighthood from the Queen in the New Year's Honors List for his inhumanitarian work in the music industry.
Loud Hip Hop bass lines were heard as the Space Shuttle rolled to a stop. Also the pilot's seat was moved back as far as it would go and was tilted way back. When the doors were opened there was the smell of burnt rope on board.
Reporters yesterday say that nannies are continuing to be hired by airlines during the Christmas season to look after children flying alone and left behind in airports while busy parents are flagging down cabs and carrying Christmas gifts to loved on...
Ian 'Beefy' Botham has today accused Santa of being nothing more than an old fat bloke dressed up in a red outfit with a fake big white beard.
Re-invented TV celebrity, Noel Edmonds, was spotted today flying out of Britain with a bevy of beauties, en route to a secret destination in the Seychelles for the holiday season.
The Backward Poem
(Hazards of Romanticizing the Past)...
A new drug has been invented and while it is proven to counteract a condition which can lead to blindness, the drugs are very expensive and they may not be available on the NHS.
The worlds of art and religion have gone into melt-down this morning following an unprecedented occurrence.
Cheeky chappie cock-en-ee chef, Jamie Oliver, is reported to be loosing his battle against his expanding waist line.
Washington D.C. - When George Bush issued 16 pardons, on Thursday, among them was a pardon for methamphetamine dealer, Phillip Anthony Emmert. Although many of the other pardons were for insignificant transgressions, Media attention is now focusing o...
BODMIN, ENGLAND -- A freelance satirist obsessed with mentalist Uri Geller's penis has disappeared from St. Ives Hospital with a laptop computer, medical implements to perform circumcisions, a set of tattooing irons, and a straight razor, police...
Space Shuttle Discovery touched down safely after it's astronauts spent 13 days and over 1.5 billion of your tax dollars pretending to be Bob Villa in orbit. Even though the shuttle's rear tires had only 28 psi of pressure the shuttle coasted...
Rome - (Ass Mess): Local residents have expressed condemnation and outrage at this year's traditional Nativity scene outside St Peter's Square which has portrayed the Magi as gay nomads looking for succour (sic) in Herod's hellish kingdom...