Spoof news stories from December 2006
There were 579 spoof news stories published in December 2006. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Naked Paris Hilton, Nude Britney Spears Veg Out As Lohan Protests Cheney Execution
LONDON - Bound to a chair in front of a stone wall outside Buckingham Palace, Dick Cheney shook his black-hooded head, evidently refusing to utter any last words.
Britney Spears vagina is #1
The results are in for the most popular internet searches and yes, you guessed it, Britney Spears vagina was the most looked into key word on the net. Of course, said a Yahoo spokeswoman, Britney would have still been #1 even without her vagina in th...
Backscatter X-Ray Machine Malfunctions- Floods Internet With X-Rated Pictures Including You Know Who
Authorities say that one of the Backscatter X-Ray machines at Sky Harbor International Airport malfunctioned today sending pictures of a whole database of naked passengers onto the internet.
Naked Britney's Panties Eat Priscilla Presley's Sex Party Video For Beyonce's Sex Tape Shame
That's the type of thing top people could be reading over their cornflakes and coffee in the new year if plans go ahead.
Lembit's A Cheeky Boy
Liberal Democrat MP, Lembit Opik, is today being dubbed the 'cheeky boy' of British Politics.
Custody Awarded of Britney Spears/Kevin Federline Children
A Nevada judge has reached a custody decision on the two young sons of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Both were seeking custody of the children (Britney wanted shared and Federline wanted sole). In a surprising move, the judge did not grant th...
Britney Spears' Privates Crash the Internet
The entire Internet was brought to a standstill for twenty minutes last month by an influx of searches for pictures of Britney Spears' naked privates.
Vaginaless Britney Spears gets booed at Laker game
Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn entered a Laker game over the weekend. After Britney had slammed a few Laker brews the cameras turned on her and she flashed everyone on the jumbotron.
Spears Naked, Hilton Nude, Lohan Panty-less Share Pulitzer Prize For Saving Journalism
NEW YORK - The Pulitzer Prize for Public Service went for the first time this year not to journalists but to news subjects -- actor Lindsay Lohan, singer Britney Spears, and celebrity socialite Paris Hilton.
Britney Spears Vagina speaks out on vulva abuse
Recently emancipated, the vagina formally known as Britney Spears, 'Carolina the Vagina" has been making a public plea on various forums for everyone to stop vulva abuse everywhere.
Britney, Paris, Jessica and Christina have lesbian thoughts
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and Christina Aguilera all have lesbian thoughts. Not necessarily about each other but at some point in their lives if recent studies are to be believed.
Christina Aguilera sex tape
A rumor has surfaced that Christina Aguilera has a lesbian sex tape hidden in her closet. Sex kitten, Christina was taped having a trist with a Penthouse playmate in a swanky Las Vegas hotel room. The tape was recorded by a male groupie Christina pic...
Naked Orlando Bloom, Nude Lindsay Lohan Mum On US Victory Plan : Implode Iraq and Bring American Troops Home By Christmas
WASHINGTON, Reuters - The United States has come up with a war-winning strategy in Iraq that goes by the name "100 Percent Solution," according to White House and Pentagon sources.
Jewish "Snowflake" Wins Christmas Costume Contest
New Orleans transplant and Jew, Alison Acorn won the annual Christmas costume contest in Durham today. Acorn, owner of the Durham Glitter Works, won the contest dressed as a Jewish snowflake. Imagine Phyllis Diller meets Swan Lake meets Frosty the Sn...
Britney Spears elected Naturist President
Los Angeles (CA) - Britney Spears is retiring from show business in order to concentrate on her new career as President of American Association for Nude Recreation. Citing pressure from the media and paparazzi contributed to her sudden decision.
Britney Spears' vagina sues for emancipation
In an unprecedented move today Britney Spears vagina has retained council and filed court papers requesting emancipation from Britney Spears body.
Stunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day
New York - Statisticians and researchers are scratching their collective heads over this one - as many as five percent of Americans have not had sexual relations prior to their marriage. A visibly shaken President Bush has vowed to work with Congres...
Victoria's Secret sells naughty celebrity panties
Hollywood, Victoria's Secret announced today the company will be releasing a new line of celebrity inspired panties called, "Paparazzi".
Britney Spears' vagina is free
Washington DC. - Britney Spears vagina had it's day in court. Superior Court Judge Seth Hardwood presided over the controversial issue of whether a body part can be emancipated from it's body.
XXX-rated X-rays have security screeners excited
PHOENIX New X-ray machine to debut at Sky Harbor International Airport this hoiday season. The security screening system takes pictures of passenger's entire bodies. Images are incredibly graphic in detail and can reveal both explosives and ge...
Naked Paris Hilton Endorses "Tongue Condom" For Weight Loss
PARIS - Celebrity socialite Paris Hilton is to appear naked in a series of ads promoting the "Tongue Condom" (TC) as an effective weight loss tool.
Naked Britney Spears Impersonator Sues Over Plastic Surgery "Outsourced" to Bangladesh
PALM BEACH, FL - A singer who impersonates Britney Spears has sued a Florida clinic over the results of her plastic surgery, which was "outsourced" to a physician in Bangladesh.
Jessica Simpson declares: I have a vagina too!
Nashville, The press mistakenly attributed Jessica Simpson's recent crying jag to blowing the lines of the song, 9 to 5. Simpson was performing the tune in front of her childhood hero Dolly Parton as a tribute. It seemed Jessica, despite having c...
George Bush Recruits Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan for Iraq "Beaver Patrol"
WASHINGTON (AP)-- Desperate to stop the Iraqi civil war and to beef up the morale of US troops, President Bush has recruited Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to take part in a "beaver patrol" of that war-torn country.
Britney's vagina mentioned every three seconds on The Spoof!
A vacuous pop star's fanny topped The Spoof!'s most read articles for the month of November, proving that modern satire is just as wiling to tackle the big news issues as in the so-called "hey-day" of the 60's satire boom.
Remaining Harry Potter Movies To Be Recast With Younger Actors
Uproar today in the film world as it has been announced that due to the current cast members of the Harry Potter movies growing up too quickly, it has been decided to recast all the Hogwarts students with younger actors, for all remaining films in th...
Thief Robs Bank using Wii Game Controller
The last thing Chase Bank teller Lana Tam heard before waking up in ICU was, "OK Nobody MOVE I've got a WII controller and I'll use it!". Tam telling her story to Phoenix reporters recounted yesterday's robbery where a lone non-...
Bush Pardons Marijuana Convicts On Chistmas Day
George Bush has decided to pardon all prisoners convicted of marijuana crimes. He had already pardoned one meth dealer as was reported in the The Spoof recently and decided it was time to take a sensible approach to the trillion dollar war on drugs.
Baby Barron Trump Sets Sights on Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
But it's all business. The eight-month-old son of Donald Trump and wife Melania already owns his own company, CelebBabySpy.
Britney's Shocking Tattoo
The L.A. paparazzi were thrown into a feeding frenzy following Britney Spears' secret late night appointment at a sleazy back street tattoo parlour.
MySpays to erect humunguous cyber-tool
New York, NY - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Internet pet-neutering service MySpays.com has vowed to launch a potent new cyber tool for detecting fetishistic sex offenders who regularly cruise its pages to download footage of pussy-spaying operations.
"Erections Anonymous" Members Flee Paris Hilton Naked; Trapped by Britney Spears, Madonna
PARIS - Over 200 Canadian Erections Anonymous members fled from the Paris Hilton naked yesterday when a rumor swept the hotel that a nude Katie Holmes had arrived to taunt them, eyewitnesses said.
Santa Claus Arrested
Santa Claus has been arrested under the USA Patriot Act after people reported a heavily bearded man seen flying last night around the rooftops of Washington DC suburban neighbourhoods, 3 miles from the White House.
Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Others to Participate in New Reality Show
Hollywood Starlets and media darlings Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Madonna, Paula Abdul, Shakira, and several others have all agreed to appear on the new television reality series "The Great American Skank-off." The women will compet...
US Navy Submarine Mounted By Giant Sperm Whale
Seamen of the USS Wyoming, a US Navy fast attack submarine stationed off the coast of Central American, had a rough jolt this morning after a gigantic sperm whale, in a gross case of mistaken identity, tried to mount the submarine and one of it's...
Porn Company "Girls Gone Wild" Producer Claims to have Learned a Lesson from Sentence
The producer and production company of the popular "Girls Gone Wild" video series claim to have learned their lesson after a recent court sentence. A Florida court fined Joe Francis and Mantra Films $1.6 million dollars after it was learned that at...
Naked Paris Hilton Goes Seal Clubbing As Thousands Cheer
JUAN DE BUTTOFUCCO, WA - Celebrity socialite Naked Paris Hilton opened ESPN's first season of live, televised seal clubbing today, taking a sea lion pup by the flipper and dragging it onto the dance floor of "Thunder Clap," the most &qu...
Celebrity Sex Tapes and Taboos
A recent study on sexuality and exhibitionism has revealed teens and actresses are significantly less inhibited than just 10 years ago.
Witnesses: Saddam Hussein Was Hung Three Times
Most witnesses at Saddam Hussein's execution were ushered OUT of the gallows prior to his outraged Iraqi judge hauling Hussein's lifeless body back up to the scaffold, tightening a noose around his neck and RE-hanging the already belated dict...
Santa Shot Down By NORAD; Millions of Children Witness Catastrophe
The US Air Force, NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), in a gross case of mistaken identity, disintegrated Santa Clause and his 18 reindeer over Washington airspace this evening. Apparently, the heavy red man was flying over restricted a...
The FAA and Homeland security ban Santa Claus from domestic airspace
In a surprise move today The Federal Aviation Administration and Homeland Security joined forces to unilaterally deny domestic air space clearance to the traditional Christmas Eve sleigh ride by Santa Claus.
Britney Spears Addresses Recent Antics in Press Conference
(BBP Newswire) - Former Mickey Mouseketeer and lip-synching industry blow-up doll Britney Spears addressed her recent brow-raising foibles in a shocking Malibu press conference today.
Racer Ricky Bobby Killed In Golf Cart Accident
Stock car racer, Ricky Bobby was killed today when the golf cart that he was driving went out of control and flipped several times killing Bobby instantly. Eye witnesses say that the stock car driver was rounding the turn next to the 7th fairway at A...
Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie fly to Tahiti for romantic interlude
Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston have come together in an act of, "forgive and forget". Could turn out to be Brad Pitts' worst nightmare.
Saddam Hussein's body double executed
In an unprecedented move today the Iraqi government hung one of Saddam Hussein's many doubles in front of cameras, doctors and officials. The tape will be released to Iraqi television to prove to the many feuding factions in the country that Huss...
Small New England town invaded by trolls
VERMONT, St. Vernon, a small town nestled in the hills of southern Vermont has been invaded by a army of extremely aggressive trolls.
Saddam's Noose for Sale on E-Bay
In an attempt to raise money and show independence from Coalition moneys, the new Iraqi government has put Saddam Hussein's hangman's noose up for sale on E-bay.
2007 Sculpture of Jessica Simpson Passing Gas To Rival 2006 Britney Spears Sculpture Giving Birth
(New York--NY) Britney Spears, the most searched female on the web, will be locked in competition with Jessica Simpson, the most gassy female on the web starting January 12, when VaFa, an art gallery in New York City, will publicly unveil a sculpture...
Miss USA Tara Conner Donates Organs To Child, Who Demands Crown
NEW YORK, December 28, Reuters - Renegade Miss USA Tara Conner announced today that she has donated organs to a child in exchange for yet another chance to retain her crown.
The Striptease and Porn Industry on the verge of collapse
Britney Spears' recent public striptease pictures are circulating on the internet like wildfire, immediately affecting the attendance in major strip joints and peepshows. It seems as if people have lost interest in striptease clubs, as interest f...
Michael Jackson Pleas for Saddam Hussein's Life
Saddam Hussein could be executed as soon as tomorrow. Michael Jackson, not a fan of Hussein but instead a humanitarian opposed to the death penalty text messaged Iraqi judges asking that Hussein be given life in prison instead. Unfortunately Iraqi ju...
Cruise and Holmes file for divorce to quell speculation
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced to the media today they would be filing for divorce. They are calling it a future active settlement to avoid undue speculation.
Paris, Britney, Nicole, and Others Offer New Year's Resolutions
It is a tradition as old as time to make New Year's Resolutions that will not last much past January. As in year's past, Hollywood's personalities, along with government officials, have released their resolutions for the new year:
The Spoof has g...
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - Another Left-Wing Conspiracy?
Right wingers are calling this year's airing of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer," the longest-running holiday special, a disgrace to the principals of democracy. It is thought that the Christmas special, which has been featured on netwo...
Lindsay Lohan Pole Dances at New York Strip Club
Hollywood Party Girl Lindsay Lohan was seen pole dancing last night at Scores, a New York City strip club. Witnesses say that the young woman came up out of the audience, grabbed onto the pole, and gave it a whirl.
This was apparently prompted by...
Duracell Bunny sacked after testing positive for steroids
A spokeswoman from Duracell, today confirmed that the company has sacked the Duracell Bunny after testing positive for steroids and other controlled substances on the film set of their latest commercial.
Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Pamela Anderson Wed Christ After He KOs Boxing Champ
RENO, NV, Dec. 25 - Jesus "Sonny" Christ capped his comeback drive in Reno yesterday with a ninth round knockout that sent reigning champ Stephen Hawking into a deep, possibly fatal coma.
Sexy Midget first space stewardess
Virgin Galactic announced the candidate selected to be the first stewardess in space.
Shakira dislocates her entire body
Hollywood Ca. Shakira was admitted to Cedar Sinai Hospital this afternoon complaining of body pains that resulted from over rehearsal.
Victoria Beckham and Nicole Richie vaporize during workout
Los Angeles (CA) - The two celebrities were working out at Size 0 Gym, an exclusive Beverly Hills health spa, where they instantly vaporized before a packed crowd. The workout instructor was a little shaken after the incident, "These two ladies...
Michael Richards Enters the Rosie VS Donald Wars
As if things couldn't get much worse, things GOT much worse when Michael Richards, offended by both Rosie O'Donald AND Donald Trump involuntarily called them both N-words during an interview on KVUE radio this morning.
Bush: "Grand Canyon Formed By Noah's Ark"
In another environmental set back President George W. Bush has ordered Grand Canyon National Park to stop estimating the age of the slopes because right wing evangelicals are offended easily by the knowledge others gain in their elementary school cla...
Trump threatens to strip Ms USA
Trump Tower, NY - (Ass Mess): Notorious ageing rug-man and diehard aficionado of the bald-patch slick-over Donald Trump has vowed in public to strip Ms USA.
Scientists Discover Evidence of Flowing Water on Mars
NASA scientists have discovered evidence of water flowing on Mars. Photo evidence shows that water has come to the surface from underground sources and followed gravity down the sides of craters and through valleys.
Tom Cruise to sue clinic for leg extension op blunder
It was made official today that Academy Award winner Tom Cruise is to sue chique London cosmetic surgery clinic "Make Me Look Human Ltd." for £40m after bungling his leg extension operation, turning him from a 5 ft 4 in short arse into a 6...
Bangkok hooker demonstrates new technique at world ping pong championships
There were chaotic scenes at the world Table Tennis Championships in Bejing yesterday, when Bangkok hooker, Ying Tong Tidillifoo, beat China's no 1 seed in a highly charged match.
Asian condoms slur prompts call for 'cup sizing'
Bangalore, India - (Ass Mess): Following initial outrage over racist allegations that the global one-size-fits-all condom policy leaves much to be desired in males of the Indian sub-continent a leading prophylactic manufacturer has vowed to introduce...
Rosie O'Donald Mistaken For Beached Whale
The peaceful quiet and serenity of South Beach, Florida was shattered this morning when a large crowd gathered around what they believed to be a beached whale. Squawking and high pitched squealing noises could be heard all the way down at 183rd St a...
Geico Caveman Suing Spoof Writer
Dewey County, South Dakota - Local ABC News affiliate WCMN reports today that the Geico Caveman has filed suit against The Spoof writer Woodpile for defamation of character. The suit is in response to an article written by writer Woodpile which sugg...
Lindsay Lohan Cast In Jessica Simpson Role As Britney Spears
(Bentonville--AR) Monday, in front of Wal-Mart headquarters, Lindsay Lohan signed a deal with VH-1 to play the role of Jessica Simpson playing Britney Spears in a movie of the soon to be Pop Mom's life titled "Do You Like My Song or Just My...
Jared Fogle Spotted Going Biggie Size at Wendy's
Subway spokesman and former fattie Jared Fogle, who became famous for losing 350 pounds on his own Subway diet, was spotted yesterday by customers at a Wendy's restaurant. One restaurant employee, on conditions of anonymity, said that "Jare...
Gang attacks Michael Richards
Hollywood, Michael Richards was attacked by multicultural youths yesterday coming out of a popular ice cream shop.
New No Calorie Diet Promises Extreme Weight Loss
First there was No-Carb then Some-Carb then Low-Fat then No-Fat until finally along came the All-The-Cabbage-You-Can-Eat-Without-Barfing diet. Now, thanks to the miracle of the late night Infomercial you too for only 4 easy payments of blah blah blah...
Rosie O'Donnell challenges Donald Trump to a duel
Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump got into a war of the words on Wednesday trading insults and barbs.
Britney Spears Dropped Sean Preston for Google Hits?
(Los Angeles--CA) As if the bad press buzz over Britney Spears hanging with fellow homegirls Paris Hilton and Lindsay "I Can't Spell, But Look At These Knockers" Lohan wasn't bad enough, the mud just keeps flying. This time it's...
Ashley Simpson to Appear in Dreamgirls 2
Beyonce who dropped 20 pounds for her blockbuster role in Dreamgirls went "Oh no she's NOT" after learning that producers, now working on Dreamgirls 2 were considering adding Jessica's lip-syncing little sister Ashley to th...
Uri Geller's penis falls off as 'wankathon' goes horribly wrong
Uri Geller was in hospital last night, with surgeons battling to reattach his severed penis, after a charity wankathon went horribly wrong.
Halliwell Puts Famous Dress Up For Auction
Not to be outdone by the Aubrey Heartburn's 'little black number' that recently sold for nearly half a million quid, ex-Spice Girl Jerry Halliwell has put her famous union jack dress cum belt up for sale too.
Hussein: "With My Last Breath... I Curse Al-Sadr."
Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was executed by hanging at 6am EST. What surprised most were Saddam Hussein's last defiant words, as he mocked Muqtada al-Sadr, the Shiite religious leader. Many were puzzled by this remark until the reasoning...
As apology Michael Richards to wash feet of 4 black men
Michael Richards (Seinfeld's Kramer) who insulted four black men at the Laugh Factory will apologize by washing their feet and their 40 toes clean.
Live Giant Squid Filmed: Then Consumed Immediately
A magnificent giant squid was captured by Japanese scientists who were disappointed to learn that the mythical creature Godzilla had once again eluded capture. The giant squid was the first of it's species to be caught on video tape.
Saddam Hussein's hangman's noose to be auctioned on EBay
World Wide Web, Well, you should have seen it coming, it seemed inevitable, yes someone did it. Saddam Hussein's hangman's noose is up for sale on EBay for an amazing opening bid of $200,000.00...
Naked Britney Spears As Navy Finds Remains of Santa's Reindeer; "Donder Party" Ate Own Dead
NOME, AK, June 25, 2013, Reuters - Hopes faded for toy baron Nicholas Klaus and his legendary sheltered workshop yesterday after a U.S. Navy rescue team found the remains of his eight tiny reindeer on an ice floe 700 miles northeast of Point Barrow,...
Nicole Richie Arrested after Driving Wrong Way on Highway, Police Investigate
BURBANK, Calif. - The California Highway Police are currently investigating why actress Nicole Richie was driving the wrong way on State Highway 134 under the apparent influence of drugs. The Simple Life star and 25-year-old daughter of pop...
Schumacher Blasted As Cheat By Ex-Ferrari Pit Man
Michael Schumacher, who to some is the best Formula One driver ever to have lived, could in fact be no more than a dirty cheat.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes slated to birth Anti-Christ
Tom Cruise, recently appointed head of United Artists, and new bride Katie Holms have been penned in as the stars of their second biological reproduction, "Birth of the Anti-Christ".
Women's Institute release new XXX Calendar
Eyebrows were raised today when The Dewsbury Womens Institute unveiled their new charity calendar.
Saddam Pleads Death By Chocolate
Saddam Hussein has written an open letter to U.S. politicians and a human rights group requesting he be allowed to gorge himself on Mars chocolate bars until completely comatose, as part of his upcoming execution.
Obama and Edwards Vie for America's Youngest President Title
John Edwards, John Kerry's old running mate tossed his hat into the '08 presidential race today. Barack Obama, himself a toddler like Edwards (according to Herbert Walker Bush) is expected to soon announce his 2008 presidential aspirations as...
George Bush eBay Fanatic
(Weed--CA) "I couldn't believe it. The President of the United States bought my humidifier!" That was Janis Malverne's reaction when she received an e-mail from G.Bush@WhiteHouse.org. Ms. Malverne explained in a phone interview fro...
James Brown to Dance at his own Funeral?
Not for the faint of heart psychologists say, the funeral of Godfather of Soul James Brown is NOT the place you want to be if you're easily frightened or spooked or afraid to even watch Amityville Horror on Showtime. James Brown, living legend th...
Fidel Castro Returns $900 Million To Cuban People
Maximum Cuban leader-for-life Fidel Castro has decided to come clean as he lays on his death bed. He has admitted that he has squirreled away $900 million dollars in offshore bank accounts and that he is returning this money to the Cuban people.
Rush Limbaugh Buys Indian Motel Chain, Desert Bedouin
In surprising news today, American radio personality, Rush Limbaugh bought The Desert Bedouin chain of Indian-owned motels from the Patel family. The Desert Bedouin has been a fixture in American culture for the last 20 years, under...
Original Christmas Carol Lyrics Revealed
RCA Music has revealed the original lyrics to many of the now famous Christmas Carols. According to producer Mary Fielding, "Most carols did not start out the way they are now. Our now beloved Christmas music has changed a little."...
FDA: Cloned animals "safe-ish" to eat
Washington, DC - The Food and Drug Administration today declared that cloned and other genetically modified livestock are "probably" fit for human consumption.
Taco Bell Begins Offering Discount Headstones
Funeral costs can be quite expensive these days with the average price exceeding $14,000. Taco Bell, acknowledging that some of their patrons could, for lack of a better word, die from ordering a Burrito Supreme at Taco Bell wisely c...
Britney Spears gift wraps Federlines testicles for Christmas
First Britney text messaged Kevin Federlne about her desire to file for divorce. First strike against Kevin.
William and Harry snap up Nazi gingerbread men collection
London - (Ass Mess): William and Harry, sons of the Pretender to the Throne, have snapped up the entire collection of an impoverished Ohio artist's exhibition entitled 'The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men' consisting of over one hundred s...
76er's Finally Trade Allen Iverson
THe Philadelphia 76er's have finally managed to unload long time problem child and one time M.V.P. Allen Iverson. In a surprise move announced today, the team said that they have traded the player to Vinnie's Tattoo Parlor on 5th and Junctio...
Britney Spears Jumps Bail
Britney Spears, arrested again for letting her 2 year old drive a Mercedes Benz without a license escaped from jail and disappeared briefly before bounty hunters tracked her down outside an east LA adult bookstore, cuffed her and drove her and her 2...
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