Spoof news stories from Tuesday 15 August 2006
TSA imposes "5-day waiting period" on flyers
WASHINGTON, DC -- The U.S. Transportation Security Agency announced it will impose more airline restrictions following the terrorist threat in the United Kingdom. Beginning immediately, all passengers will be required to wait five days before travel...
Psychiatrist Ousted for Curing Patients
Birmingham Psychiatrist Dr. Hiebold Moranis was recently stripped of his credentials and permanently banned from Psychiatric practice because of his record of curing patients rather than "treating" their symptoms. His actions were deemed contrary to...
Boom of Bigger Babies in Bay State
A recent Harvard research study reveals the prevalence of pudgy children in Massachusetts increased nearly 60 percent in 22 years. One of the most amazing findings is how heavy newborns are. In Massachusetts, apparently many babies are born big and...
Gibson Recants Recantation
Hollywood - The ever-news-worthy Mel Gibson announced today by way of his manager, Guy Bouyette of the PR firm MakeItHappen, that he has had second thoughts about the recantation of his now-famous remarks.
Brooke Astor strikes back
New York, New York - ( ReUterus & AssoCIAted Mess): Aging centenarian former socialite Brooke Astor, 104, has filed a counter-suit in the Lower Manhattan District Court after members of her family threatened to cut off her care allowance and accused...
Ahmadinnnerjacket launches lonely-hearts blog
Tehran, Iran - (ReUterus): Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinnerjacket has defied his country's traditional courtship conventions and launched a personal internet dating agency for razor-deficient, holocaust-amnesic lonely-hearts kindred spirits...
Plot Foiled. Baked @ 450
Your ever-versatile foil needn’t be reserved for lining the bottom of your oven! Now you can foil all your international plots, too!
Freeze ‘em (zero Kelvin, if you can get it!), heat ‘em up (see below), or take ‘em at room temperature (IQ of most plotters anyway!). They’re portable as all get out and can be folded – GENTLY! – into your favorite conspiracy for a quick get together in whatev...