Spoof news stories from Sunday 4 September 2005
Bush Nears Failing Grade
President Bush said it again. The President announced we were fighting the war in Iraq because of 9/11. Hello? Can't someone explain that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, and that the suicide terrorists of 9/11 were not Iraqi? Iraq was a secula...
Rehnquist Dies, New Orleans Court to decide Roe v. Wade
Washington -- The death of Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist will likely force the nation's most divisive issue, Roe. v. Wade into the 6th Federal Court, in New Orleans. "The "Row versus Wade" decision is of life-or-de...
Bush to Gulf Waters: "This is War"
While being questioned by reporters Sunday morning, President George W. Bush announced that the American government will "hunt down and capture" the gulf waters responsible for the attack on New Orleans.
The Yankees Are Dead
Yankee Stadium, Da Bronx---The New York Yankees have rolled over and are playing dead in a very serious bean bag war that has broken out in Major League Baseball with the Yankees beans being the favorite target of hard throwing opposition pitchers.
Oxford to Introduce New English Word : Tetek
LONDON - The Oxford University wlll introduce a new English word to the Oxford Dictionary which is termed as Tetek pronounced as te-tek or simply in its acronym T-Mode.
George Bush Confuses Louisiana With Iraq, Baghdad With New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS (AP)-In a speech to reporters while on tour of a refugee camp here on Monday, US President George Bush mixed up the hurricane-ravaged states of Louisiana and Mississippi with war-torn Iraq, and exhibited extensive confusion about the two...
FEMA Head Mike Brown Judged Horse's Behind
Washington -- Mike Brown, FEMA head responsible for the completely bungled federal rescue efforts in New Orleans, worked for 11 years prior to becoming head of FEMA managing and ajudicating horse shows. Aside from membership in the Republican party...
Waterworld Revisited, Gulf Flooding Fixes Afoot
NEW ORLEANS-A consortium of engineering, plumbing and naval scientists are working on a number of possible solutions to the inundated Mississippi River delta region. Chief among them is the installation of an enormous sump pump on the Atlantic Ocean...
New Orleans Alligators Demand Tabasco from FEMA
Jefferson Parish -- Alligators assisting in the clean-up of Hurricane Katrina victims have reportedly demanded 50,000 gallons of Tabasco sauce from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). According to the Central Reptile Organizing Comittee...
Tiger Woods Legally Changes Name to Buick Mastercard
In a move that has stunned both the sports world and the advertising world, Tiger Woods announced that he is legally changing his name to Buick Mastercard. This surprise move makes Woods the first celebrity to join the growing ranks of average peop...