Spoof news stories from November 2005
There were 181 spoof news stories published in November 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Maria Sharapova Shaving Tips!
WIMBLEDON, England (SPORTS SPECIAL) Maria Sharapova is turning all heads at Wimbledon in her direction. The blond, leggy Russian girl is the #1 reason most people even show up for these tennis matches.
Anti-Rape Condom Superceded by Vaginal Land Mine
Capetown, South Africa (Wreiters) - After a South African inventor unveiled a new anti-rape female condom on Wednesday, arms manufactuer Denel announced its "even more lethal vaginal land mine." According to Denel spokesperson Gunner Downs,...
Amateur Video of Panther Cheerleaders Having Stall Sex Surfaces
TAMPEX, Fla. - Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested after having sex in a restroom stall were caught on video by one of the irritated patrons waiting to pee. The patron, sporting a Nikon Coolpix 5100, recorded approximately 3 minutes of vide...
Fruitcake Attacks, Devours Pit Bull
Houston, TX : Yesterday a 9-inch fruitcake attacked and ate a full-grown pit bull. Rocky was a 4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier weighing in at just over 75 lbs.
Stick-Figure-Man Wins Copyright Lawsuit
In a stunning victory today, Stick-Figure-Man (S-F-M) won his decades long lawsuit against the world. Experts predict that the reward he'll earn for copyright infringement and libel will be in the high billions if not trillions.
Bush bids for Popeye's arms on ebay
IN AN MOVING emergency address to the nation, President George W Bush last night dropped a bombshell on his fellow Americans when he delivered the news that he has purchased cartoon superstar Popeye's arms to aid against the war on global terror.
Kate Hudson Sues Tabloids for Anorexia Accusations
Actress Kate Hudson, daughter of Goldie Hawn, has sued several tabloids due to their all running pictures of the actress that show her as having an eating disorder. The young actress was nominated for an Academy Award for her work in Almost Famous.
Victoria Gotti And Her Boys Are Going Into The Family Business
Huntington and New York, New York---Today, it is not only possible to Grow Up Gotti, but also to Buy Gotti, Eat Gotti, Look Gotti and Live Gotti.
Police on 24-hour duty at Debra Lafave's Home.
TAMPA FLORIDA - (AP) Local law enforcement officers have been kept busy at one unlikely Tampa residence. Ever since the details of sex offender Debra Lafave's home confinement sentence were announced several days ago, a steady stream of young boys h...
Chinese Develop Boobs
Shanghai -- Believed by most Westerners to be capable only of producing cheap plastic crap sold at Wal-Mart stores, China today shocked the fashion world by sending down the runway a Chinese model equipped with boobs. Sukon Dees, a professional Chi...
Pillsbury Doughboy Sick of Being Poked
After receiving the horrible news of having acid reflux, the Pillsbury doughboy told Americans around America that he was sick of being poked. This is horrible news for Pillsbury, who has based their campaign for years around the cute sound that the...
Santa Claus Resorts to Outsourcing to Counter Production Plight
NORTH POLE (Reuters)-Prohibitive production problems and local labor loopholes have forced the Jolly Ole Elf to seek alternative budgetary strategies or else cease global toy distribution operations altogether.
Is New Buffalo Nickel Gay?
The United States Mint is facing a political firestorm over whether the new buffalo nickel is gay. The new nickel, which resurrects the buffalo image after an 87-year absence, has been targeted by several conservative and religious groups. Dr. Jam...
New Dead Sea Scrolls Translation Prove Da Vinci Code False
Translators, Archaeologists, and Bible Scholars in Jerusalem have just finished work on the translation of another of the Dead Sea Scrolls. This one, known as The Gospel of Peter, also describes the time period after the crucifixion (historically co...
Revelation: Adam and Eve were Irish
Garden of Eden, Ireland - Anthropologist, Dr. Devin O'Hara of the Smithsonian Institute has uncovered viable evidence that supports the long held belief, that Ireland is truly "God's Country" and the birthplace of all that is good and human.
Pilots Fly Better Drunk, Study Shows
Miami, FL - A study released this week by the National Institutes of Health reveals that pilots actually do a better job when drinking on the job or immediately before going to work. The study, due to be published in this month's issue of
Phish Retires; U.S. Employment Figures Plummet
60,000 new job seekers spontaneously appear in Vermont following blowout concert...
Nancy Grace Turns in Pot-Smoking Sister
ATLANTA (AP) Nancy Grace, a Court TV analyst and former Atlanta prosecutor is now a rising star on CNN. Rising ratings and even rumors of replacing Larry King have not seemed to satisfy the often-abrasive Nancy Grace. Many TV viewers believed that Na...
Standards Set for 2006 Women's Fashions
The Board of Accessorizing, Female Fashion, Lingerie, and Entertainment (B.A.F.F.L.E.) has released new guidelines and rules to govern the design and styles of women's clothing. B.A.F.F.L.E. (sometimes referred to as "The Fashion Police")...
The Secret Behind Terrell Owens Recent Bizarre Behavior
PHILADELPHIA-NFL Eagles fallen star running back Terrell Owens' forced public apology to teammates after maligning QB Donovan McNabb put the gridiron world on its ear and placed a large ominous question mark over the future of T.O., dubbed ‘Terminall...
Michael Jackson Uses The Ladies Room
Michael Jackson entered the ladies room of a Middle Eastern shopping mall, put on some make-up at the mirror, and left. Afterwards, he said that he had not understood the symbol on the door and was confused by it. Jackson explained that his visit t...
Simon Cowell launches Pope Idol
London, England. Music mogul Simon Cowell will judge the latest reality game show to hit the small screen - Pope Idol.The show is sure to be hit, following on from Cowell's previous successes such as Popstars, Pop Idol and The Rabbi Factor.
Carnival Cruise Ship Pirate Attack Staged
Fjord, Norway -- According to a spokesperson for competitor Norwegian Cruise Lines, a highly publicized attack by pirates against the Carnival Cruise ship "Spirit" was "almost certainly staged" for the entertainment of the passe...
Harry Potter Actress' Identity Discovered
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, French magical school student and Tri-Wizard Tournament Participant Fleur Delacour has very few lines. Most believed it was because the actress was also French and spoke little English; press releases on the m...
Debra Lafave Plea Bargain Linked to Rise in Sexual Offenses
TAMPA FLORIDA (AP) A higher than normal number of criminal sexual offences were committed this morning in the Tampa area following the announced plea bargain of Debra Lafave in which she will enroll in an outpatient sex offender program. Local pol...
Jennifer Aniston is GQ's Man of the Year
Jennifer Aniston has been chosen as "Man of the Year" by GQ (Gentleman's Quarterly) Magazine. Her selection for this honor has begun speculation that:...
Spears Releases First Baby Photo's
Britney Spears and Husband Kevin Federline have shocked the showbiz world by releasing pictures of their new-born son Sean Preston. The proud parents, who wed in style in an opulent dining room/kitchen earlier this year posed for photographs as th...
Schwarzenegger Wins Oscar for 'Best Actor' for Role as 'The Governor'
At the gala, star-studded Academy Awards ceremony, Arnold Schwarzenegger received the coveted Oscar for the category of "Best Actor", for his acting role as Governor of California. When Schwarzenegger first began his term as governor, he knew less...
Cattle think they are dolphins while on marijuana
WAKAWAKA TIKI, Hawaii -- There is evidence that some Hawaiian cattle are under the influence of dope and going into the ocean thinking they are dolphins.
Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Pfizer Merge; Combined Giant To Purchase FDA and Congress
Washington, DC--Global pharmaceutical giants Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Pfizer today announced plans to merge and to purchase the FDA and both houses of Congress in an attempt to soothe investors' frayed nerves and to streamline the drug-appro...
Priscilla Presley: Double Trouble
Washington DC (AP) - After leaving the Alexandria office of the Commissioner for Patents today, Priscilla Presley, President of Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc., announced that she is now the licensee and owner of a patent that discloses the invention...
George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush returned from the fourth Summit of the Americas held in Mar del Plata, Argentina on Monday with his tail between his legs, stung at being called "human trash" by Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona, and called...
Debra Lafave gets job with Bill Clinton
NEW YORK (AP) As soon as the courts allow convicted sexual offender Debra Lafave to work again, the former school teacher will take a job with former President Bill Clinton. Spoof reporter Craven Morehead was told by President Clinton: "Miss Lafave...
Oil Found in Antartica - Bush Sends in Military
SOUTH POLE, Antartica - With the news of a major oil repositories discovered in Victoria Land, Antartica, the U.S. military has been put in motion.
Eagles Suspend Terrell Owens
The Philadelphia Eagles suspended wide receiver Terrell Owens for conduct detrimental to the team. This was due to comments and insults made by Owens to reporters regarding the Eagle's players, players' wives, players' mothers, player...
UFO Sightings Over London: Government Denies Cover-Up
Following the recent ‘flap' of sightings of Unidentified Flying Objects over London, England, the Ministry For Bizarre Flying Articles issued the following statement:...
Prince Charles- "My Twin Passions, Homeopathy and Infidelity."
Prince Charles has spoken of his desire to spread the word on the benefits of homeopathy and his unbridled enjoyment of infidelity.
For President Bush, Every Day Is 'Turkey Day'
THE WHITE HOUSE--As one of his most prestigious national duties, Vice President Dick Cheney has announced the winner of the Official 2005 George W. Bush Look-Alike Contest. The winner, shown here (the REAL George W. Bush is the one on the righ...
Tabloids Sue Britney Spears
In a strange twist, the tabloid magazines (The Globe, The Star, The National Enquirer, and several others) have jointly filed a lawsuit against singer and recent mother Britney Spears. In a press conference announcing the lawsuit, Marvin Stapleton o...
Viagra's new marketing icon: Charles Lindbergh
New York. Madison Avenue is working overtime to counter the negative press recently associated with the use of Viagra, the darling drug of Pfizer. Although it is considered to be risky, Pfizer's advertising firm, Scaley LLC, has chosen a dea...
San Diego Homes and Condos Now Impossible to Sell or Flip, Heralding US Real Estate Crash
SAN DIEGO (ARF)- When the housing market was white-hot only 8 months ago, Alex Flapper could buy a luxury downtown condo in San Diego, California with as little as $50 down and sell it one month later for a staggering profit of $4,000,000. But Flappe...
Paris Hilton Tells Her Side of the Story!
Paris (AFP) Paris Hilton, heiress to several valuable Monopoly hotel properties, has recently tried to set the record straight about the many incorrect things written about her. She spoke to reporters gathered just outside of the Paris Hilton Hotel w...
Daniel Craig Born to Play James Bond 007
In further efforts to try to repaint history and convince the movie-going public that Daniel Craig was the producer's first and only choice to replace Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, Eon Productions and Sony Pictures have issued a formal statement that...
980 Million trained Rattlers to patrol Texas/Mexican Border
Nancy Grace on last night's show told the governor of Texas, Rick Perry that he "lost his darned mind" after Perry acknowledged securing clearance from the Department of Immigration to acquire, train and deploy nearly a billion deadly...
Home Depot Manager Admits Testing Glue on Store Toilets
Minneapolis -- For gluing two pieces of wood together, there's Elmer's white glue, or Gorilla Glue. For plastics, there's Superglue. For construction purposes, there's Liquid Nails. But what kind of glue do you use for harmless p...
Philadelphia Eagles Sign New Receiver for Monday Night Football Game
The Philadelphia Eagles have signed a new receiver to replace suspended starter and big mouthed bad boy Terrell Owens. Team officials announced today that The Burger King will start at the position for their Monday Night Football game against their...
Early Oscar Favorites Announced
The early favorites were announced Sunday by a panel of Hollywood "royalty." Though nothing about this list is official, the group has a ninety percent success rate in choosing the nominees in the major catagories. As is usual for the Aca...
Relationship Experts Describe Types of Extramarital Affairs
Los Angeles, CA--Relationships experts have long known that women have extramarital affairs for various reasons, including empowerment, self-esteem, and true love. But a recently published and more in-depth analysis of infidelity indicates that there...
Einstein's Theory Disproven
Scientists at the NASA Space Centre For Calculations And That today revealed that Einstein's Theory Of Relativity has, in fact, no basis in reality, and that the 'Theory' was conceived by no less than the World-Renowned Crystallographist...
Arkansas Lowers Age of Consent
The State of Arkansas, already possessing the lowest age for sexual consent at 14, has lowered the age to 12. William Joseph James Robert Huckleberry (also known as Billy Joe Jim Bob) of the State Attorney General's Office issued the following s...
Paris Hilton Reveals Shocking Beauty Secrets!
HOLLYWOOD (AP) After months of negotiations with various publications, Paris Hilton finally agreed to reveal a list of beauty secrets to Spoof reporter Craven Morehead. "I feel a special kinship with Mr. Morehead and am very comfortable in sharing...
Revealed: Best Was Allowed One Last Death-Bed Bender
Amid the universal outpouring of grief over football legend George Best's death last week, it was revealed today that his doctor, Professor Roger Williams, authorised the hooking up of 10 bottles of vodka, 13 large ciders, and a bottle of vintage...
Thanksgiving Turkey-Eating Derailed by Bird Flu Pandemic
Annandale Md -- Scientists at Tyson Foods, Butterball, and the Food and Drug Administration swear the rumor's not true: That one can contract the H5N1 bird flu pandemic from Thanksgiving turkey. Even well cooked, flu virus spread by ingesting...
Japanese Asteroid Probe Lost in Space
The latest space probe launched by the Japanese Space Agency has been reported "lost in space." The Hayabusa probe was lauched by the Minerva robot towards the asteroid Itokawa to explore the surface and to scoop up samples and bring them...
Waxing lyrical with Paris Hilton
Barbie's representative here on earth, Paris Hilton, has admitted she's fallen for one of the hunky extras in her debut flick House of Wax.
P.M. to K.O. U.K. acronyms A.S.A.P.
Tony Blair wants to initiate a reduction in the O.T.T. use of acronyms across G.B. After recently returning to the U.K. from a top-level meeting with the C.E.O. of B.P. on a B.A. flight from the U.A.E. The P.M. has outlined plans to introduce a b...
Gary Glitter Seeking Asylum in Sexually Open-Minded Chile
Vung Tau, Vietnam- Gary Glitter, known around the world for his rock anthem "Rock and Roll" (Part 2), was arrested earlier this week in Vietnam for allegations that he had sex with two minors (one who is believed to be twelve years o...
Texas Death Row Inmate Uses Intelligent Design to Escape
HOUSTON - Charlie Thompson, a death row inmate who walked out of the Harris County Jail and is now the subject of a nationwide manhunt claims he used "Intelligent Design" to plan and execute his escape. Placing a call to talk radio show ho...
Pfizer Earnings Up 1177% on Sudafed Sales to Methamphetamine Labs
New York -- Think Pfizer has made some decent money peddling Viagra? Ever thought about about Sudafed? Men with ED may purchase a dozen or so Viagra tablets a month, but "chemists" cooking up a batch of methamphetamine will often buy thou...
Citroen and Other European Car-Makers To Sell "Pre-Burned" Cars
PARIS (AFP)-The president of French car manufacturer Citroen has announced that his firm will begin selling "pre-burned" cars to the European market, to prevent them from being torched by immigrant arsonists.
Cat Stevens on Becoming a Muslim- "I Did it For the 77 Virgins"
London, UK- In a rare interview to be shown later this week on ITV, Yusuf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens, talked frankly about his past, his present, his future and his faith.
Seniors on Luxury Cruise Ship Repel Pirates
LONDON (Reuters)--A fleet of pirate vessels was repelled and sunk by an elderly group of British and American grandmothers and grandfathers on board the luxury cruise liner the Seaborn Adventurer on Sunday off the Somali coast.
President Bush swallows live Goldfish Live
President Bush, during his weekly State of the Union address surprised members of his video crew by grabbing one of the goldfish in the fish bowl on his desk and swallowing the goldfish .. live. Bush, after a few seconds continued with his speech to...
Sigourney Weaver Considers Early Man
Early humans living alongside great apes may have gained a competitive evolutionary advantage by embracing a primitive form of the Atkins diet, according to new research published this week by the University of Southern California.
Paris Hilton Kisses LA Policeman after Bentley Crash
LOS ANGELES (Writers) - Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton reportedly kissed a Los Angeles policeman after he didn't book boyfriend Stavros Niarchos, the driver of her Bently for DWI after he rammed the back of a truck while leaving an nightclub. T...
Laptop Riot leads to Xbox Shootout
DES MOINES (AP) A Black Friday laptop riot at a Des Moines Walmart rapidly escalated into an Xbox shootout requiring the use of overwhelming force by local S.W.A.T. teams and the deployment of the Iowa National guard.
New Orleans Saints to Relocate at End of NFL Season
The New Orleans Saints football team has announced plans to relocate at the end of this football season. The Saints are currently playing games in Baton Rouge and San Antonio, Texas due to the severe damage to their stadium by Hurricane Katrina. Th...
McDonald's to offer special Playstation 2 Cheats as free food prizes.
OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS (AP) At a recent press conference, McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner announced that thousands of McDonald's fast food restaurants would be offering Playstation 2 Cheats as free prizes along with every purchase of a Big Mac. "We are v...
Brad Pitt Nabs Peeping Tom
Actor Brad Pitt captured a peeping tom outside of his Hollywood home. He managed to hold the suspect down until officers arrived and took him away. When the perpetrator was brought to the police station, it was discovered that the peeping tom was r...
President Clinton has Sexual Encounter in Central Park
Former U.S. President William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton had an unexpected sexual encounter in New York's Central Park yesterday while walking with his wife Hillary Rodham Clinton. The President had just dismissed reporters when a large,...
It's Official! Paris Hilton Is Divorcing Nicole Richie!
The Hollywood Hilton---In a media world saturated with fantastic schemes, Paris Hilton tells her old bud Nicole, "It's over. I don't love you any more."...
Ant & Dec charged in Wearside Jack case
Police have charged annoying television presenters Ant and Dec today in connection with a notorious hoax that diverted officers during their hunt 25 years ago for the "Yorkshire Ripper". The alleged entertainers, both from the bitterly c...
Monica Lewinsky Franchises Her Talents
Monica Lewinsky, former lover of United States President William Jefferson (Bill) Clinton has received the cruelest of punishments. As a child, she was told by her mother, "If you keep making that face, it will stick that way." It did. L...
Abominable Snowman to Hang Star on National Christmas Tree
In an effort to reach out to minorities and immigrants,, the White House has invited North Pole native The Abominable Snowman to hang the star at the top of the National Christmas Tree in Washington, D.C. The ceremony is scheduled to take place on F...
Repentant George W. Bush, "Born Again," Admits to Lying about Torture
PANAMA CITY, Panama - "We do not torture," Bush declared in response to reports of secret CIA prisons overseas. Pausing, he adds, "Well, ahh, actually, I guess we do. Or did. You see, I've been born again for real this time,...
George Bush Invites Foreign Dignitary to White House
President George W. Bush, following protocol of over 200 years, invited a visiting head of state to dinner at the White House and offered the Lincoln bedroom for the night. Unfortunately for Washington D.C., that head of state was King Kong.
Ideas for Cooking Your Thanksgiving Dinner
Every year, millions of Americans go "over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house" for Thanksgiving Dinner. Many, however, must stay home and cook the dinner themselves for the first time. This may be because finances...
Harleys Tickle Your Fancy
Harley Davidson spokesman Rev Harder,today admitted there are secrets,behind the famous motorcycle.
White House to Market Torture Kit for Children
WASHINGTON (UPI)-To emphasize its claim that the systematic torture of prisoners by the United States army and CIA is not really torture, the White House and Pentagon in cooperation with several American toy manufacturers has released a torture kit f...
Tony Blair bans voting Conservative and drinking in pubs
The British government announced further crackdowns on drinking and voting today in an effort to combat increasing worries over the nation's failure to make its own decisions.
Jamie Oliver & Brian O'Driscoll revealed to be same person
A shocking new investigation has uncovered evidence that one of Britain's top TV chefs has been masquerading as the captain of the Irish Ruby Union team, the mercurial blonde bombshell, Brian O'Driscoll.
Jar Jar Binks To Replace Roeper; New Show Ebert and Binks
FIrst, it was Siskel and Ebert, then it was Ebert and guest star, then it was Ebert and Roeper, and now it's Ebert and Binks. Naboo native, former Republic Senator, and military hero Jar Jar Binks will replace Richard Roeper on the popular movie...
Congregation of Electrocuted Pastor Demand Refund from Electric Co-op
Waco, Texas -- Parishoners at University Baptist Church, where the Rev. Garound Folt was electrocuted during a deep water baptism last week have reportedly demanded a "substantial reduction" in their most electric bill from Prarie Gas & El...
Dumb Questions
We get questions at work all of the time. Most of them are simple, easily answered, intelligent requests from curious people. No one here minds answering those; helping people is part of the job. Many of them, however, fall into the dumb questions category and a few have entered the Hall of Fame. Not all of them are asked by blondes. Comedian Bill Engval makes millions every year doing a rout...
Drugs in Denver
Today denver decided to legalize carriing one ounce of marijuana with you for personal use. this however was by a slim margin and federal laws still apply. As the second major city to do this in the past year the message to our government sh...
People Magazine Names Sexiest Man Alive
In their annual issue, People Magazine has named the sexiest man alive in 2005. This year, the magazine chose the dancing man from the Six Flags Amusement Parks television commercials. Lance Waterford, member of the magazines editorial board, issue...
George W. Bush to Insurgents: "We're Coming For You!"
President George W. Bush has issued his sternest warning yet to insurgents: to lay down their weapons and work with him or face military retribution. The warning was met with scorn by anti-Bush forces in Boston, New York, Chicago and San Francisco, w...
Walmart to start selling Gasoline in 3 Liter Bottles
(TULSA) Federal officials are investigating the explosion of Tulsa Walmart #3847 which killed 19 and wounded over 180. Walmart denies that test marketing of it's new, "Bottle o' Petrol" was the cause of the tragedy. Sources say...
Madonna Loses Plagiarism Lawsuit
Pop SInger Madonna has lost a lawsuit where she was sued for plagiarism. In an international court, the decision was announced today that Madonna stole material from early stripper and singer Gypsy Rose Lee. The stripper, now 94 years old, sued bec...
Math teacher narrowly escapes lynch mob
PEQUOT, SD --- Chanting "Die, die, die," the crowd of rage-maddened parents watched Pequot High School teacher Jake Rodham's house burn to the ground. The twenty-year teaching veteran, a math instructor in the controversy-riddled South Dakota school...
Bush: War On Terriers Will Continue
"I won't rest until the world is free from the threat of terriers"...
Rabbit pulls magician into Hat, Police still searching for Clues
Omaha authorities are labeling it an elaborate hoax but are still searching for Omaha stage magician, "Amazing Dave" after witnesses at last night's performance say that a "rabbit" reached out of his hat and allegedly pulled t...
Britney Spears Sends Her Little Bundle Of Joy Off To Get A Job!
Hollywood, the Highway Of Broken Dreams---Unhappy, annoyed, dismayed and very ticked off at all the persnickety little demands Pint Sized Sean Spears Crying King Federline has been making at home, Britney Spears has decided to send the little sucker...
Bush military records NOT destroyed: UN Chief
(Washington, Riters) The UN Security Council Secretariat has issued a damning denial of an Associated Press story in the international media this week concerning the "missing, presumed destroyed" military records of President George Bush J...
Michael Jackson's Father Reports He'll Leave United States
(AP) The father of pop singer and accused child molester Michael Jackson has reported that his son has possibly left the United States for good and may never return. Mr. Jackson told reporters that, "You drove my boy out with your accusations.
Schwarzenegger: "I've changed my mind about executing Tookie!"
SACRAMENTO CALIFORNIA (AP) In the final days leading up to the scheduled December 13th execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has changed his opinion about granting clemency several times. "At first I thoug...
Christina Aguilera Ties The Knot
Pop star and trollop Christina Aguilera was married yesterday to longtime boyfriend Jordan Bratman in a private and lavish ceremony in Napa Valley, California. Everything about the ceremony was opulent, expensive, and gorgeous, in sharp contrast to...
George Best Dead - Secret Past Revealed
Often called the fifth member of hellraising rockers, Middle Of The Road, footballing legend, George Best, has chirped his last cheep The final whistle blown, heralding an away win for his maker and the hairy cornflake has returned to the dressing ro...