Spoof news stories from Monday 6 June 2005
C.D.C. Determines that Laboratories Cause Cancer in Rats
The Centers for Disease Control, in a joint study with the Food and Drug Administration, the Mayo Clinic, and Johns Hopkins University announced today that laboratories cause cancer in expiremenatal test rodent subjects.
Team Zissou Does It Again
In an astounding announcement on the deck of the Belafonte, at anchor in the Baring Straight, Oceanographer Steve Zissou shocked the world with his latest discovery.
True - but thats life !
This is absolutely true
A couple of days ago, I was ripping Cd's to my PC Music Library. I used one of these programmes that let you put cd in slot, then they fill in all the details of artist, track title, etc, from their details to use in your music library.
Oil Shortages Will Doom Most Everybody Says New Book
NEW YORK--Most of the people of the planet earth are utterly doomed as global oil supplies peak and run out, and energy prices skyrocket, warns the American social critic and author James Howard Kunstler in his latest book "The Long Emergency: Sur...
Pavarotti loses voice, plans new tour
ROME - Luciano Pavarotti, the famous opera singer who is ridiculed for being much fatter than he really is, has pulled out of a few concerts planned for the summer, after contracting laryngitis.
Catholic Church Revives Inquisition, Seeks Interview With Dan Brown
THE VATICAN-In a move that has impressed observers with its new Conservative orientation, the Catholic Church under the new Pope Benedict XVl, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, has fully resurrected the medieval Holy Inquisition and assigned it t...
Bush to Limbaugh: It's Time To Clean Up, Rush
In what critics deride as a cheap political trick to score points with environmentalists, President Bush has issued popular talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh an ultimatum: "Mr. Limbaugh, it's time to clean up your environment! Yo...
NBC to Shoot Mormon Version of the Bachelor
In an effort to revive the once popular reality TV show, NBC has announced it will start shooting a brand new series of The Bachelor in Salt Lake City.
Bible Belts Pissing Off Bible Belt; Christian Coalition
A new brand of belts manufactured using the leather coverings of recycled Bibles, (i.e. "Bible Belts") is tightening the nerves of America's Bible Belt, the geographical region known for its fundamentalist brand of Protestant Christianity and strict interpretation of the Bible.
"It's blasphemy!" says Ralph Reed, former head of the Christian Coalition and majo...
"Siamese" Twin Breasts Survive Separation Surgery
Hollywood, California - Conjoined twin breasts, known publicly as "The Girls" were successfully separated after nearly 12 hours of surgery, yesterday. The two breasts were said to have shared one nipple and mammary glands.