Spoof news stories from Friday 1 July 2005
John Bolten Wades into the Fray
Washington and New York and Other Points of Interest--Invoking arguments from as many historic and political precedents as humanely possible, including analogies to Christ on a Coss of Silver, Lincoln, Churchill and other esteemed figures fro...
Make-up Company the Cause of Declining Cultural Literacy Among Teenage Girls
(AP) The current lack of cultural literacy in the United States among high school students has been traced back to Avon catalogues.
Wimbledon: female grunting send planes off course
Friday. Hundreds of aircraft have had to alter their flight paths during the Wimbledon finals due to excess noises emitted by female players, it was announced this morning. The planes, which frequently pass directly over the famous courts, reported...
Tom Cruise Freaks Out in Brooke Shields' Bed
After an ugly scene that ended in Brooke Shields' bedroom, actor Tom Cruise was taken away in a straight jacket. According to his publicist, Tom Cruise had to be restrained in a straight jacket as he was taken to a mental hospital. After being gi...
President George Bush Had Role in ‘Batman Begins' Movie
WASHINGTON, DC-Diligent Spoof reporters have uncovered the startling fact that American President George W. Bush had a major role in the recent Batman movie starring Christian Bale.
Bird Flu Confuses Birds That Fly
QINGHAI, CHINA -- Birds are in bewilderment throughout China tonight, as they are confused as to what all the fuss is about. The misunderstanding comes on the heels of an Asian bird flu pandemic.
Cyclist Goes for Record 10th Straight Loss at Tour de France
PARIS, FRANCE -- All eyes in the cycling world turn to Europe for the sport's biggest event, The Tour de France. Lance Armstrong is the overwhelming favorite to win his seventh French race. But another American has his sites set on a record of...