Spoof news stories from Saturday 24 December 2005
Bush To Cut And Run, Actually
At a White House briefing, press secretary Scott McKellan announced that President George W. Bush intends to cut and run from his staged addresses before safe, freeze dried, cherry picked audiences at military installations, and instead move to addre...
The US Issues National Tsunami Plan.
Washington DC (The White House) - President Bush, hoping to protect the shores of America from being hammered by a tsunami, issued a national plan Friday for increased volcano and earthquake monitoring systems, ocean buoys, and other state-of-...
Joan Rivers Found Dead In Her Kitchen.
Manhattan NY (AP) - Police and EMT's were called to Joan Rivers's Home in Manhattan. A frantic Melissa Rivers, Joan's daughter, called 911 yelling "Oh my God I think she's dead! Someone come help me! Oh my God!"...
Santa Moves Workshop to China, Exploits Chinese Elves
BEIJING (UPI)-- Santa Claus has finally moved Rudolph and his aging band of Caucasian elves and reindeer from the North Pole to China, now known as the East Pole, in the process hiring thousands more Asian elves in the towns and villages of southern...
Santa's Crystal Meth Workshop Busted... the Legend of Claus
Santa's workshop .. long thought to be a fictional place "way up yonder" where elves and reindeer sang and frolicked merrily around Christmas trees and Charlie Brown fireplaces making toys was BUSTED by Federal Narcotics agents during...
Scientists Discover 'Mass Dodo Grave'. Saddam Questioned.
Mauritius (AP) - Scientists discover a mass grave of Dodo Birds today. They say the bones are fully intact. They were found in a swampy area near a sugar plantation laid out in several rows.