Spoof news stories from Tuesday 9 August 2005
Cindy Sheehan Digs In As Feds Mull Over Attack On Camp Casey.
As most of America already knows, Cindy Sheehan, mother of slain Army Specialist Casey Sheehan who was killed in the Sadr City section of Baghdad in April of 2004 has been holding vigil under the blazing Texas sun since Saturday, August 6th dema...
Britney Spears Hires Own Army for "Protection and Stuff"
Pop Icon and expectant mother Britney Spears has decided to come clean after allegations that she, or someone in her employ, shot a reporter with a bb gun.
Owls Sue Hooters Restaurant Chain
The American Federation of Owls has filed a lawsuit in the courts for defamation of character against the Hooters restaurant chain. In describing their problems and allegations with the bar and eatery, Billy Barn Owl said, "Sure, we got problems wit...
Hillary Clinton versus Jeanine Pirro: Bloodmatch?
New York City, Albany, and White Plains, New York----Jeanine Pirro, the rough, tough, no nonsense, take no prisoners Westchester County Prosecutor is about to take on the toughest case of her long, distinguished career: teaching Hillary Bill's Babe...
President Bush: "E Pluribus Bonham!"
Washington, DC - With the 25th anniversary of the death of Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham fast approach (September 25th), President Bush has proposed legislation to modify the motto of the United States in honor of Mr. Bonham's death.
FOX uncovers .. Michael Jackson is a closet Klingon
(NEVERLAND, CA) -- With 2 former jurors calling him guilty, 11 former Neverland ranch hands calling him a child molester and his own sister Janet going "Oh Michael", Michael Jackson, King of Pop, according to FOX news is in fact a Klingon...
Starbucks Road Tripper described as "Wired"
Seattle - His nerves frayed, his hands trembling, a Houston native who goes by the name of Winter set out in the spring of 1997 to visit every Starbucks on the planet. Now a Nebraska attorney, Bill Tangeman is producing documentary about Winter. T...
Alan Greenspan Rants Against Threat to US Dollar Due to Iran and PetroEuro
WASHINGTON (Reuters)-On Wednesday, US Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan ranted against the planned switch to the "PetroEuro" by Iran for oil sales which he claims endangers the PetroDollar and the plain old American greenback.
George W. Bush -- President for Life
"Lame Duck" is a term President George W. Bush simply cannot accept. He's proven by his athletic agility that he's nowhere near lame. And while some might call him a turkey, he's definitely no sitting duck. Fact is, he's been doing such a good job,...
NRA issues Britney Spears "Lil Sharpshooter" Marksmanship Award
Mailbu - After plinking celebrity photographer Brad Diaz in the thigh as he hid in a palm tree overlooking the Spears beachfront enclave, NRA president Saddam Wjohwicz announced the National Rifle Association was awarding Ms. Spears the "Lil...
John Gotti a New Man After Completing Sentence
New Jersey - John Gotti Jr. today pronounced himself a "New Man" and said he'd severed all of his connections to organized crime while in prison for racketeering. According to his attorney, Gotti felt "rejuvenated" by his st...