Spoof news stories from August 2005
There were 235 spoof news stories published in August 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
New Weight Loss Plan: The M&M's Diet
Nutrition experts at candy company M&M Mars have released the newest weight lost method to hit the market: the M&M's diet. Selections from an interview with company spokesman, Skip Wiffleball, are listed below:...
Britney Spears Arrested in New York
NEW YORK (Reuters) Pop singer Britney Spears is waiting to be bailed out of jail after being arrested Tuesday on charges of insurance fraud. Several international insurance companies are cooperating in the investigation against the 23 year-old singer...
Victoria Gotti: "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!"
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (AP) Victoria Gotti doesn't play games. A Spoof reporter on assignment to interview the daughter of mob boss John Gotti soon found out that Victoria has some secrets that are best left… secret! Spoof's Morgan Truce began phoning...
God proclaims George Bush "Jesus Christ Almighty"
In a bold political move, the president formerly known as George W. Bush today announced that he had legally changed his name to Jesus Christ Almighty.
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin placed on suicide watch in wake of Hurricane Katrina
NEW ORLEANS (AP) "He looks stoned to me." He looks like a man who can't decide whether to run away or stuff his head in the oven!" Comments like these were heard all over Louisiana as New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin made statements on TV in the mids...
Dennis Rader having tough time in El Dorado State Prison
EL DORADO, Kansas (AP) Within hours of arriving at the maximum security prison here Friday to begin serving the rest of his life in prison for 10 killings, BTK serial killer Dennis Rader has been the target of numerous assaults. During fingerprinting...
British Airways pilot flippantly tells passengers they'll probably die
London. England. A BA pilot was at the centre of yet another scandal yesterday after his terrifying message to the passengers was recorded and leaked to the press. The scandal comes in the wake of two plane crashes in the space of three days - o...
Kermit Celebrates the Big 5-0, Turns Back on 'Friends'
NICK-AT-NITE, CA-Kermit the Frog celebrated his fiftieth birthday this week and his fellow Muppets are outraged at the posh party thrown for the fun-loving frog and children's television icon. Why are they so mad? They weren't invited to the puppet p...
Mischa Barton: "I was a prostitute!"
California-- Mischa Barton, teen queen and star of the hit teen drama The O.C has shocked the nation, after revealing she prostituted herself when she was 13. "My childhood was rough. My parents were always working and leaving my s...
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie expecting quintuplets? Truth exposed!
HOLLYWOOD - Angelina Jolie was overheard yesterday confiding to a close friend during lunch that she and Brad Pitt were expecting five children in November 2005 and, as the Tinseltown grapevine wound the news to the top, all of Hollywood strug...
Ragnarok to Start Next Tuesday
ASGARD--After a millennium or so of waiting, the Norse Gods have finally announced plans to begin Ragnarok, the divine war that will temporarily end all life on earth.
Car Shoes take Australia by Storm
AUSTRALIA - The latest invention from down under has just rolled off the production line! Car shoes, yes you read right.
FOX uncovers .. Michael Jackson is a closet Klingon
(NEVERLAND, CA) -- With 2 former jurors calling him guilty, 11 former Neverland ranch hands calling him a child molester and his own sister Janet going "Oh Michael", Michael Jackson, King of Pop, according to FOX news is in fact a Klingon...
Laura Bush and Hillary Clinton Join Cindy Sheehan's Protest While George Bush Uses Helicopter
CRAWFORD, TEXAS (AP)-The protest by Cindy Sheehan against the Iraq war outside of the ranch of President George W. Bush grew much more complicated on Friday as the grieving mother was joined by First Lady Laura Bush and Senator Hillary Clinton who bo...
JK Rowling admits stealing Potter stories
(HMP Belmarsh, London) Lawyers representing the prolific children's writer JK Rowling arrived today under armed police escort at the UK's No 1 maximum security prison HMP Belmarsh to visit their client who was arrested at dawn yesterday foll...
Democratic Party Announces '08 Presidential Candidate
CAPITOL HILL (Hill Watch)-The Democratic party is set to rock the American political world in a precedence-setting bid for the White House. Getting a formidable jump on the lame duck GOP competition for the 2008 presidential election, the Democratic...
Oregon Legalizes Meth, Puts Sudafed behind the Counter
Portland - Oregon today passed legislation which outlaws the possession or sale of pseudoephedrin based cold medicines while legalizing crystal meth. Said Governor Kulongoski, "It's not the drugs themselves that are the problem, it's t...
Sopranos Growing Up Watching Gotti Boys
HBO and A&E, Check Your Local Cable Listings---Currently on cable in their fourth season and DVD for all five seasons, Da Sopranos are gonna begin shooting, oops, filming their sixth season soon and then are gonna go for a seventh stab at the video g...
Paris Hilton Had A Bad Week, Nicole Richie Says Its Her Own Fault, The Hussie!
Paris---Paris Hilton started the week by being caught by a paparazzi in the same knee length red geometric Diane von Furstenberg dress that America's Next Top Model finalist Brittany Brower wore. Clearly, this is a grossly unfashionable scenario for...
Britney Spears Reveals Her Baby is a Clone of Republican Bill Frist
HOLLYWOOD (AP)--Pop princess Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline have revealed that their first baby will be a clone of leading Republican Senator Bill Frist.
Pope Benedict Urges Muslims to Give Up Their Oil to Christian Corporations Like Exxon Mobil
COLOGNE, Germany (Reuters)-On Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI delivered a blunt message that Islam must give up its oil to America and Christian-Republican oil companies like Exxon Mobil.
George W. Bush Refuses To Meet With Cindy Sheehan, Saying,"I'm On Vacation"
President George W. Bush, while on yet another month long vacation to his ranch in Crawford, Texas has refused to meet with mother of an Army Specialist slain in Sadr City, Iraq on April 4, 2004, or somewhere around three hundred thirty nine days aft...
Mormon Fireworks Show Goes off as Unplanned
Spanish Forks -- A mammoth fireworks show to honor Joseph Smith, founder of the LDS church, went off as unplanned Wednesday evening when a truck carrying 35,000 pounds of high explosives caught fire and exploded along Utah Highway 6, near Spanish For...
Paramount Unveils Ideas for the Newest Star Trek Series
The creative department at Paramount studios is desperate for a new series set in the Star Trek universe. Programming executive Rob Swordfish said Monday "Since the 80's, we have had The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, Voyager, and Enterprise on the...
George Bush Sends Cindy Sheehan A Peace Offering
CRAWFORD, TEXAS (UPI)-President George W. Bush has sent Cindy Sheehan a peace offering even though he refuses to meet with the grieving mother and the First Lady who are protesting the US war in Iraq at "Camp Casey," the name given to Sheehan's e...
Bush to Send Cindy Sheehan to Abu Ghraib for Torture
CRAWFORD, TX - Cindy Sheehan, who is the mother of Killed In Action soldier Casey Sheehan, has been staging demonstrations near President Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch.
California Bans Flying Cars
Sacramento - In the wake of a deadly midair collision between a pair of flying bikes, California governor Ahnold Schwarzenegger today outlawed all flying cars and motorcycles. "The public is just not ready" said the Gropester. "If a...
Pat Robertson Prays, God Smacks Lynyrd Skynyrd
Pat Robertson, who has recently prayed away a hurricane and single…um…double-handedly prayed at least one conservative Supreme Court nominee within inches of the Court, had a divine misfire this week and accidentally smote Lynyrd Skynyrd. "I was aimi...
Lance Armstrong: "Zee French are a spineless bunch of snail-eating sore losers!"
Taunted by French press claims that he took performance enhancing drugs to peddle his way to victory in the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong has begun to fight back.
Lindsay Lohan Makes It Official: She's Tired Of Parents, Boys, Gossip And Groupies
Hollywood and Vine----Lindsay Lohan has made it official. "Nobody loves me," she cried to a camera outside the New York State Supreme Courthouse where her former family is battling over everything they can fight over from money, custody and royaltie...
Shamu Tests Positive for Steroids
The Federal Government probe into steroid use by athletes nabbed another victim Tuesday when Shamu the Sea World killer whale tested positive. Senator Morganstern Coatrack of New Jersey, a member of the sub-committee investigating steroid usage, mad...
Angelina Jolie is new Queen of Cambodia
LIN DI LOO, Cambodia -- Cambodia's king has declared actress Angelina Jolie Queen of Cambodia for her conservation work in the poverty-stricken country and the king is encouraging other Hollywood stars to come to Cambodia and give lots of money...
GW Bush Smokes Armstrong on Bike Ride
Crawford, TX -- George W. Bush "smoked" Lance Armstrong on a mountain bike ride around his Crawford, Texas ranch, according to Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Riding without his Discovery Channel teammates, Armstrong was repeatedly haras...
OPEC Ministers Divulge Real Basis for Skyrocketing Oil/Gasoline Prices
OPEC (UPI)-Sources close to the world's primary oil producers have answered a question that has been on the mind of every American since the War on Terrorism began: Why is the cost of oil, and hence gasoline and diesel fuel, so high? The answer: Hurr...
Britney Spears Hires Own Army for "Protection and Stuff"
Pop Icon and expectant mother Britney Spears has decided to come clean after allegations that she, or someone in her employ, shot a reporter with a bb gun.
Michael Jackson's Latest Makeover
Pop Star Michael Jackson unveiled a new look yesterday at his Neverland Ranch, but denied that it involved another plastic surgery.
Nicole Richie Hooks Up With Paris Hilton
Nicole Richie, who knows Paris from way back in the old neighborhood of Sherman Oaks or Bel Air or Vegas or Montclair or someplace cool like that, has found a new job as Paris Hilton's side kick.
Japanese Robot Praises Cindy Sheehan, Calls George Bush "The AntiChrist"
TOKYO (UPI)-On Monday, anti-Iraq war protestor Cindy Sheehan was praised by a newly-developed child-shaped Japanese humanoid robot with a vocabulary of 10,000 words that is about to go on sale in Japan. The robot also condemned US President George Bu...
Alan Greenspan and Jessica Simpson Burned in Effigy After Warning of House Price Crash
JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING (AP)-Wall Street shuddered on Friday after Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan laughed at American homebuyers since their investments are starting to crash down around their ears thanks to Greenspan's own inflationary, bubbl...
Monster Home Mansions Being Bulldozed Across America
BEVERLY HILLS, Cal. (AP)-American monster homes are bigger, uglier and more overpriced that ever before, and this is sparking a backlash against the "McMansionization"of the towns and cities across the nation.
Trailer Trash Pride Day
Duffus, Washington - Self proclaimed guru and leader of the support group, "Trailer Trash United," has declared Monday, August 16th as Trailer Trash Pride Day in Duffus, Washington.
Cindy Sheehan - "President Bush aged me 40 years"
(CRAWFORD) -- Cindy Sheenan, speaking live from Crawford Texas surprised CNN reporters yesterday when she accused President Bush of causing her to age 40 years overnight because of "X-stress". She then produced before and after photos to s...
NCAA Expands Post-Season Ban to Animal Mascots
Los Angeles, CA-Encouraged by the success of Native American support groups in convincing the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) to require university sports teams with mascots named after tribes or with terms deemed offensive (breathe i...
Bush Demands Terrorist Suspects Eric Cane and Trina Be Apprehended Immediately
After hearing of all the damage caused by Eric Cane and Trina, two presumably diabolical terrorist suspects who have caused extensive damage all along the Gulf Coast, President Bush called on the CIA, the FBI, and the Home Land Security Departments t...
Alan Greenspan Rants Against Threat to US Dollar Due to Iran and PetroEuro
WASHINGTON (Reuters)-On Wednesday, US Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan ranted against the planned switch to the "PetroEuro" by Iran for oil sales which he claims endangers the PetroDollar and the plain old American greenback.
Japan Apologizes for World War II, and then starts World War III
TOKYO (Reuters) - Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi marked the 60th anniversary of Japan's defeat in World War Two on Monday with an apology for suffering caused by Japanese military aggression and pledged that Tokyo would never again go to war.
Study Shows Relationship Between Sex and Violence
Mishawaka,WI: Sixth grader Anthony Russell is one angry pre-adolescent; in fact he's stark raving mad. His fits of rage have landed him in the principal's office 35 times this year setting a new Astoria Middle School record. While teac...
George and Laura Bush, Dick Cheney Enter Rehab Clinics for Oil Addiction
WASHINGTON, DC (AP)--Americans were shocked by the public disclosure on Friday that the White House is filled with the victims of oil addiction, including all senior Republicans.
France accuses German, Prussian armies of doping
Hot on the heels of accusations from the French that American bicycling great and seven time Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong was doping, French officials now allege that past colossal military defeats are due to the fact that their enemies were...
Theory puts Peterson on the spot for people missing on fishing trips
NORTH BEACH, Calif. - Authorities searching for Olivia Newton John's boyfriend, Patrick Kim McDermott are now seriously concerned about his disappearance from a routine fishing trip a few weeks ago. A major theory has developed.
Iraqi Court Frees Saddam Hussein and Indicts George Bush as War Criminal
BAGHDAD-In a surprising and unexpected turn of events, an Iraqi Court has freed Saddam Hussein and indicted United States President George W. Bush as an international war criminal.
Belgian law...
Ah the law. Law enforcers claim that without Law, there would be no order. Chaos would reign the earth. I agree there should be a law. But please people, not so complicated!
e.g. the drug-law in Belgium. Last year in Belgium, we were allowed to carry 3 grams of cannabis, without being prosecuted. BUT... you couldn't buy it, nor sell it. You could only carry it. So it should drop out of the...
Justine Timberlake and Janet Jackson .. One year later
(DRUDGE REPORT) -- While Janet Jackson is signing multi million dollar book, movie and HBO deals, her Super Bowl XXXVIII cohort, Justine Timberlake is rooting around in East LA dumpsters scrounging for his next meal asking "why?"...
Verifying the Gender of Santa Claus
In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments:
He’s a She...
Olsen Twins to be Separated by Surgical Team
Siamese twins MaryKateandAshley Olsen are scheduled to undergo surgery Tuesday to be separated from each other. If the delicate procedure is successful, they have announced that they will now each have their own first names and have chosen, not surp...
George W. Bush to Cindy Sheehan: 'Bring it On!'
CRAWFORD, TX -- With all the bravado of an Ivy Leaguer crossdressed as a cowboy, President George W. Bush had a few words to say to Cindy Sheehan.
Pat Robertson calls on God to "Take Jesus Out !"
Pat Robertson, in Tuesday's 700 Club show, concerned that Jesus has not, in Robertson's opinion, done enough to alleviate human suffering or adequately line the collection plates at his 700 Club, asked in prayer for God to "Take Jesus ou...
Paris Hilton Has Comeback
Hollywood and Paris, France--At a mere twenty-four years old, Paris Hilton is making the first of what is sure to be many, many happy comebacks, having just signed up for another of what would appear to be a seemingly endless season of "The Simple Li...
French Accuse Cyclist of Doping
Paris -- The French cycling magazine LeCycliste today leveled doping charges at a famous American cyclist. In a cover piece, LeBike stated that George W. Bush, who recently cycled around his Crawford Texas ranch with TdF winner Lance Armstrong is &...
Mississippi, Alabama Public Health Officials Quarantine Katrina Refugees
L.A. (lower alabama) -- Public health officials worst fears have now come true. Refugees from areas utterly destroyed by Hurricane Katrina including New Orleans, Gulfport, and Bilouxi have reportedly spread Cajun recipes and Zydeco music everywher...
Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro Plot A Response To Pat Roberts
Iran, Cuba and Venezuela---Annoyed and perhaps a bit jealous that Evangelist Pat Roberts has been making death threats, Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has issued a fatwa against the life of the politically active televangelical former Presidential Cand...
Cindy Sheenan orders President Bush to dismantle NASA
Cindy Sheehan, unsuccessful in her attempt to get President Bush to pull all troops out of Iraq and shut down the military as we know it today issued a new ultimatum .. "Dismantle NASA or else". CNN reporters asked Mrs Sheehan what "o...
Hurricane Katrina changes name to tRiNa
(PANAMA CITY) -- Noted hurricane communicator Geraldo Rivera caught up with Katrina off the coast of Florida. Rivera, the first human to discover that hurricanes were sentient life forms chastised the storm going,...
UK Requests, Gets "dibs" on Invading Iran
London - Following the 2001 attack on New York City, the United States invaded Afghanistan, and Iraq, Muslim countries that had terribly little to do with 9-11, other than the Taliban briefly harboring Osama bin Laden in remote parts of Afghanistan.
Boy Scouts to Study Safe Erections
UFI -- Shocked by the electrocution of three Scout leaders at their national jamboree, the Boy Scouts of America today announced a new Electrical Safety Merit Badge, to be known as a "Sparky." Avoiding potential electrocution during tent...
Scotland Adrift - Full Emergency
EDINBURGH - Emergency services have been put on full alert as news is breaking that Scotland has broken away from it's moorings and is adrift somewhere in the North Sea.
Civil War Re-Enactors Head to Iraq
Gettysburg -- Civil War buffs, always striving to make their re-enactments of famous battles "as authentic as possible" are reportedly headed in droves to Iraq to participate in the "Biggest Civil War" since "the War betwee...
Airline Gropester Appeals to Schwarzenegger
Sacramento-- A business executive sentenced on Thursday to seven years in prison for groping a woman seated next to him on a commercial airline flight has reportedly sent a request for pardon to California governor Ahnold Schwarzenegger.
Looters abandon Jet Skis, Bass Boats for Barges
New Orleans - Looters taking advantage of lax store security in downtown New Orleans have begun trading in their jet skis and bass boats in favor of river barges and other, hi-capacity, shallow-draft watercraft, according to police. One looter int...
As Cindy Sheehan Waits, Media Begins Search For The Perfect Gold Star Mother.
Under the hot sun of an August day in Texas, the mother of slain Army Specialist Chris Sheehan waits. And waits. What's more, she's vowing that she'll continue to wait until United States President George W. Bush comes out of his Crawford ranch to me...
Katrina Flashes Big Easy
New Orleans -- The French Quarter may be deserted, but thousands of revelers are still hoping for a glimpse of girls gone wild -- specifically Hurricane Katrina -- by way of webcams. W...
Rick Hilton Showcases Elvis Presley Room At Paris Hilton
Paris, France---Rick Hilton, father to the vivacious Paris and Nicky, and better half to Kathy and behind the scenes business advisor and show biz guru to Nicole, has decided he wants to speak up for Hilton Hotels, as a way of increasing brand recogn...
Scan THIS: New Tattoo Identity System on the Way
WASHINGTON, DC-Removing clothing, pat-downs and body cavity searches at airports across the nation will soon become a thing of the past. A new procedure will replace the antiquated airport screening process when recently passed legislation is enacted...
BTK Killer Introduces Exercise Video
El Dorado Correctional Facility -- Dennis Rader, a.k.a. "The BTK Killer" today announced a line of fitness videos intended to develop hand and wrist strength. Said Rader, from his prison cell, "Choking a person to death requires a l...
Guns & Roses Reunited
Hollywood -- Admitting he just couldn't do it on his own, a tearful Axl Rose broke down today, and called on former GNR bandmates Slash (Saul Hudson) and Duff McKagen to help him complete his long awaited album, "Chinese Democracy."...
Klum Klaims "Nothing Sexy about Pregnancy"
Oslo -- Supermodel Heidi Klum, appearing on the cover of Vitalis magazine, claimed there was "Nothing sexy about pregnancy." Appearing in a baby-doll sewn from white mosquito netting, her engorged bosom jutting provocatively and a string...
FCC Fines Big Bird $1 Million for a Misunderstanding
Washington DC - New FCC Chair Kevin J. Martin has said that he will tighten the FCC's reign over Radio and Television. Since Janet Jackson's "Wardrobe" Malfunction, over 8 Million Dollars in fines have been imposed by the FCC. Th...
Giant Asteroid Wipes Out Entire Planet
We are standing in amongst the wreckage of a once fertile and thriving planet. Our sources inform us this planet was once home to billions of sentient beings, countless species of lower life forms and plants, as well as a multitude of ethereal...
BTK Killer BTK's himself
(CNN) - Prison officials made a gruesome discovery today when they found notorious BTK killer Dennis Rader in a blood soaked cell hanging upside down swinging from the rafters with all limbs severed and half of his partially exploded skull in the toi...
Tom Cruise Still Battling---This Time With Lauren Bacall, Brooke Shields And Other Famous Babes
Africa, Europe (Cheltenham, Rome, etc.), U.S. (Athens, N.Y., Hollywood, etc.) and Mars Intergalactically---Fresh from his thrilling victory defending itsy bitsy teeny weeny Dakota Fanning from nasty blood curdling Martians, Tom Cruise battling fever...
John Gotti a New Man After Completing Sentence
New Jersey - John Gotti Jr. today pronounced himself a "New Man" and said he'd severed all of his connections to organized crime while in prison for racketeering. According to his attorney, Gotti felt "rejuvenated" by his st...
Cindy Sheehan Molested, Camp in Shock
CRAWFORD, TX -- Camp Casey finds itself in a new controversy that has shocked thousands of anti-war protesters. A camp councilor has been accused of sexually molesting Cindy Sheehan.
Tiger Woods Upset With Loss at Celebrity Tournament
Apparently, no one told Tiger Woods not to bring his irons, his woods, and his pitching wedge to the 5th annual Hollywood Celebrity Golf Tournament and Tanning Contest. He didn't need his tees, his caddy, or even a golf cart. When Tiger's agent sig...
Swiss Scientists Exceed the Speed of Light
Bern -- Swiss scientists today? announced they had briefly succeeded in making light travel faster than the theoretical limit postulated by Albert Einstein. Light zips along in a vacuum at 186,000 miles per second. It reportedly travels even faster...
Hybrid Cars Still Butt Ugly
Beverly Hills - Hybrid cars get great gas mileage and qualify for generous tax rebates, but the current crop is "Butt Ugly" according to fashion designer Tommy Hilfinger. " When you own a piece of automotive art like a Porsche 911 or...
World Bank's Wolfowitz to President Bush: Bomb Cindy Sheehan
Washington, D.C. -- In an effort to curtail the threat to Bush's poll numbers by Cindy Sheehan, the former Deputy Secretary of Defense, who now runs the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, urged the President to begin dropping bombs on Cindy Sheehan'...
Bush Sympathizes With Anti-War Protestor Cindy Sheehan
CRAWFORD, Texas-- The roadside antiwar vigil of Cindy Sheehan who lost a son in the Iraq war continued near the 16,000 acre ranch of George Bush, and it has drawn the sympathy of the American President.
George Bush Begins Digging Tunnel to Evade Cindy Sheehan
CRAWFORD, TEXAS (AP)--President George W. Bush has begun digging a tunnel to serve as a secret back way out of his Texas ranch and to thereby avoid anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan and her growing band of thousands of followers who are camped along t...
Wall Street Journal discovers "Get Rich Quick" formula that really works
298 residents of Baytown Virginia are laughing all the way to the bank after they downloaded and tried Walter Langer's limited edition e-report, "Get rich tomorrow morning". Langer, wanting to prove that his new money making formula wo...
U.K. Fights Terrorism Without Torture, Gitmo, Patriot Act
London -- Stunning their American counterparts, London police, MI6 and other British intelligence agencies appear to be mounting a successful battle against terrorism without suspending civil liberties, torturing suspects, or violating the Geneva Con...
George Bush Releases Revised Republican Bible
WASHINGTON, DC (AP)-US President George W. Bush has elaborated on his cosmology and his new theory of "intelligent design" which is basically a rehashed version of Old Testament creationism. Bush has rewritten many passages of the Bible to reflect hi...
Severely deformed wildlife found outside of White House
Washington - Several tourist visiting the capital this week, have reported seeing very strange deformed rodents, possibly squirrels, (by most accounts) running around outside, on the White House lawn.
Pat Robertson Goes to Hell for Threatening Hugo Chavez
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va (AP)--Viewers watching the 700 Club on TV were confounded on Tuesday when they witnessed TV evangelist Pat Robertson embraced by the Devil and carried bodily off to Hell because of his recent call for the United States Government t...
Madonna's Done It All and Wants to Try Death
Pop idol, rock star, dancer, fashion maven, sex goddess, alternative lifestyle queen, movie actress, fitness enthusiast, mom, spiritual seeker, and equestrienne, Madonna has been through every phase. Now that she's bored again, Madonna wants to try...
Starbucks Road Tripper described as "Wired"
Seattle - His nerves frayed, his hands trembling, a Houston native who goes by the name of Winter set out in the spring of 1997 to visit every Starbucks on the planet. Now a Nebraska attorney, Bill Tangeman is producing documentary about Winter. T...
Chrysler Wants To Be Your Car Company
Detroit, Michigan and the Open Road ---Lee Iacocca , his entire family, and Snoop Doggy Dogg, and whomever he is chilling with today, want you to buy a Chrysler Plymouth car so you can enjoy a smooth ride in a smooth car.
McDonalds Mc'Sued
Burger King filed charges against McDonald's today claiming that McDonald's new TV ad showing Burger King delivering Cindy Sheehan's camp free Whoppers is completely fraudulent.
Intolerance is not Tolerated
Many people have been sacked from their jobs by a Sausageshire council simply on the basis of their surnames, in what has been described by councilors as "a move to promote secularism" and "bollocks" by towns folk.
Bush Announces Shutdown of Land Grant Universities
Washington, DC. - In a speech before the Republican Congress on Friday, George Bush announce the first in a series of drastic steps to cut the skyrocketing national deficit. He announced that federal funding of all land-grant universities in the coun...
The First Date With My Wife, or My Way of Saying "None of Your Business" to My Friends
I once went out to dinner and a movie with a very attractive and fun woman. It was a first date for the two of us and my first date in over a year. Several church and message board friends who knew of my date had asked me to e-mail them the results and tell them how everything went. What they really wanted to know, in teenage boy terms, was "what base did you get to?" With my p...