Spoof news stories from Thursday 28 October 2004
Voting Machine Glitch Gives Presidency to Al Sharpton
Boca Raton, FL - In the worst case scenario of worst case scenarios voting machines across the country have returned preliminary results declaring that the next President of the United States will be Rev. Al Sharpton.
Latest Polls: Election Hinges on Single Undecided Voter
After weeks of differing and fluctuating back and forth, the state-by-state polls for the presidential race now agree that the race will once again come down to Florida, and that the Sunshine State itself comes down to one undecided voter. 68-year o...
Dam Sad, Shrub, and the Neighborhood
Dam Sad, alias Whoosane, returned home. He’s the same guy who killed and injured several neighbors a few years ago in an insane fit of rage. The D.A. at the time, Pappy Shrub, arrested Dam Sad. But Pappy cut a deal because Whoosane threatened to expose some shady business transactions with Pappy and his buddies.
Under the plea bargain agreement, Whoosane could live at home, but under close...