Spoof news stories from Wednesday 13 October 2004
Bush Props Up Social Security, Sells Idaho
Boise, ID - In an unprecedented move, the President announced today that he will sell the state of Idaho in order to maintain a financially solvent Social Security. The Sultan of Brunei has signed an Intent to Buy agreement with the US that excha...
CSI - Michael Moore Declared A Crime Scene
Michael Moore the renowned film director, polemicist (bullsh*t artist) and political analysis (they're studying him) has gone on the campaign trail, in support of Senator John Kerry. Kerry of course, is the Democratic nominee for president and Am...
Murphy’s Law and Olive Branches and Wednesday The 13th
Whatever can go wrong, shall go wrong!
Israeli’s are leery of those freedom fighters who offer plastic olive branches. Certain people in Arrow Phat’s school of thought wonder if those people with freedom fighter’s guns in their pockets also have ammunition hidden in their plastic olive branches.
Ten Commandments Barred From Courthouse, Schools Next?
(Cumberland, MD--SP)Members of the Doo Wop group 'The Ten Commandments' were saddened Monday at a Judges decision to bar the stylish ensemble from performing on the front steps during Allegany County Days. Maryland District Judge Ross...
George W. Bush - Ominous Threat at Final Debate
Critics are shocked as only minutes away from the closure of tonight's final debate former oil insurance ombudsman and campy cheerleader George W. Bush stared directly in to the camera and declared. "Vote for me - we wouldn't want an...
Beckham : "I'm Not Thick".
A spokesman for Real Madrid and England superstar David Beckham, has denied insinuations that the player is thick. "David is doing a number of after-hours courses at a Spanish college and we are hoping that if he passes them, that we will be abl...
Itching for Change
According to a manifesto document leaked today, President Bush has already established his agenda for a second term in office.
Lenin's ‘Utopia' Founded on America
Documents released under Russia's 80-year freedom of information laws reveal that the Bolshevik leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin modelled his communist blueprint on… America.
Chicago Times dumps "Dear Abby"
Chicago, Illinois - After decades in print, the Chicago Times has dropped the advice column "Dear Abby" for the new and often very funny, "Dear Mr. Wise Guy." The column is written by "the unknown guy" as they call him and reads as follows:...
New support from unexpected quarter for Bush-Cheney ticket
Kabul, Tuesday - Support for a second term for George W. Bush as President of the United States of America has come from a small settlement about 80 km (50 miles) north west of Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan.