Seattle, WA-Starbucks Coffee Inc announced Wednesday that its supreme plan for world domination will be placed into effect a month early as their Death Star orbiting seven hundred miles off Earth has been completed ahead of schedule.
For over 70 years Montana has bragged on state stationery, on car tags and in advertising campaigns that it has the largest sky in the world. Not so, say scientists working in Idaho and Wyoming. They have determined that, contrary to Monta...
In an audiotape offering a terror truce to European countries that pull their troops from Muslim nations, Osama bin Laden also suggested he might be willing to ease up a little if he could just get a thick juicy steak and a hot shower.
(KANSAS) - Acting on a tip from an observant parking lot attendant, authorities have located over 150,000 school-aged children who, apparently, were left behind.
Just earlier today, the horrible crash of The Spoof writer John Carroll's computer resulted in the deaths of hundreds of files. The final death total is still being tallied, but experts are projecting it may near the thousands. Among the dead ide...
(Bozeman, Montana) Police were called early this morning to Hobart's Bar on the West side of Bozeman where a fight was in progress between two "totally wasted" lumberjacks.
APPLES, ORANGES SETTLE DIFFERENCES...
All children to eat Texas okra; broccoli to be banned...
After many months of sometimes tedious, sometimes dangerous research, I can exclusively reveal that there is a highly organised group of powerful people who devote their careers to the corruption of young children.
They have been practising their foul and despicable trade right under our noses for many years, passing off their vile products under the guise of 'education' and 'en...
Washington - US lawmakers, under pressure from some of the largest women's rights groups in America have decided to cut Florida out of the Union - literally. The nation's largest tourist destination and 27th state will be shaved off and set af...
Garching, Germany-A consortium of European astronomers announced this week that they have discovered the largest galactic clusterfuck ever seen.
Radical cleric and Belmarsh-detainee Mustafa Kemal Mustafa - variously known as Cap'n Hook and Abu Hamza - today issued a statement via his lawyers @aintgottaprayer.com that convicted "shoe bomber" Richard Reid is his nat...
Catch one quart of cicadas * with large net.
In a blender, mix cicadas with:...
Home Secretary and fierce Blair Loyalist, David Blunkett has today announced that Chancellor Gordon Brown is to be extradited to the United States.
Under mounting pressure to resign from both Backbenchers and Cabinet colleagues, Prime Minister Tony Blair has reinforced his intention to remain in Number 10 Downing Street until after the next General Election.
(DAYTON, Ohio)--Officials in Dayton are speculating as to the reasons why presumed Democrat presidential hopeful John Kerry allegedly stole Timmie Smith's ice cream cone.
John F. Kerry, the Democratic Parties nominee apparent has attacked George Bush...physically. The Massachusetts Senator, who in the past has attacked the Presidents policies on Iraq, education, employment and the environment said he was "just fed up...
Washington-
Today on the advice of attorney general John Ashcroft, President Bush announced that the U.S. will be phasing out 4:20 on the US ti...
ENCINO (CA) - One day after scientists in Louisville, KY announced plans to perform the world's first full-face transplant, a spokesman for Michael Jackson says the embattled pop star is putting his famous mug on the block for a cool $12M.
(WATERLOO, Iowa)--A Waterloo area farmer hit it rich in a financial transaction involving a Nigerian. Thirty-four year old farmer Mike Palmer stands to acquire nearly $350,000 tax free from the family of a fleeing Zimbabwei general.
Washington, DC (AP SPECIAL BULLETIN)...
Washington, DC (AP)
Sources at the Pentagon admitted this morning that the dog collars and leashes used in the abuse of Iraqi detainees at the Abu...
(New York City)-Joe Piscopo is still 'not ready for primetime', but Saturday Night Live creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels announced Thursday that the former cast member will be returning for the 2004-2005 season.
American Idol is biased. Yes, I said it. Most of the finalists have been from the South. We've only had one runner-up, Justin Guarini, from the North, and it's just not fair.
The North has a long history of great talent. Madonna is from Michigan, which is in the NORTH. Prince is from Minneapolis, Minnesota, which is way NORTH. Aerosmith is from BOSTON, which is UP NORTH.
Diana Degarmo finally broke down and cried today. "I'm so f***in' sick and tired of being the nice and sweet girl. I ain't got no street cred since doing this whack American Idol. People don't even think I'm latina enough. It...