NORTHMUFFIN, Great Britain -- A recent report claims "three stolen paintings by Vincent van Gogh, Pablo Picasso and Paul Gauguin may have been recovered near the British art gallery where the theft occurred."...
RIPLEY, Wyoming -- By fiddling with one gene, scientists have discovered they can increase the size of brains in mice. The process, which comes at the expense of the sanity of no less than 34 scientists, is being applauded by some and condemned by ot...
U.S. Utterly General, Mr. John Asscraft announced new terror threats from the Al-Qaeda today.
ELMONT, N.Y. -- The thoroughbred horseracing world is poised for what might possibly be a Triple Crown winner but many inside the sport are concerned that a terrible trend may accompany an historical victory.
(NEW YORK) General Electric has announced its bid to acquire renowned investor Warren Buffett in a deal worth $47B. Buffett, whose net worth is estimated at $30.5B, would be exchanged for $6B in cash and $41B in GE preferred stock.
Responding to Amnesty International's report on the war on terrorism and how it is eroding the rights of people around the globe, U.S. President George W. Bush went on the attack today, referring to the group as, "a bunch of damn, dirty hipp...
As the clock tick, tick, ticks toward the June 30 transfer of power to a pseudo-sovereign Iraq, President Bush laid out a five-point plan to boost his bum approval rating.
Earth - Earth Man Gregory Tinkle today sues God, the almighty, the Grand Master of all time and the unquestionable one, for exactly £8,600,000.49. The man accuses God of ruining his life right after he took away the lives of his beloved mother, sons...
They started from a pool of 1,500 hopefuls, each one a hard-bitten terrorist living somewhere in the United States. They came from all over the world to compete, some with no visible means of support. Last night, after all the votes were tallied, on...
Three separate sources from three very different government departments all verify and counter-verify reports emanating from rancorous members of the Labour Party that Tony Blair is under investigation for plotting the murder of Dalstone Palm...
Washington DC -- Vice President, Executive Branch Czar, and acting Superintendent of Arlington National Cemetery Dick Cheney announced today that that since there are no longer any Americans employed in the armed services, the cemetery will be close...
Only thirteen employed people left in America, Bureau of Labor Statistics has two of them.
Eugene, OR - Radical Muslim Cleric Mustafa Kamel Mustafa was arrested in London Thursday for his role in trying to start a terrorist training camp on U.S. soil. Officials say Mustafa was the key figure in a small al-Qaeda group that was actively recr...
Radical Muslim preacher Abu Hamza has appeared before London magistrates and has been charged with taking hostas from the Chelsea flower show as well as trying to set up holiday camps in the US. The 47 year old was arrested at 0300BST in response to...
It has been revealed that President Bush will kill a disabled girl's kitten during a special programme to be filmed live on Sunday morning.
Deputy PM John Prescott, fat - NOT obese, claims that the media is over exaggerating the so called obesity issue and claims it is complete nonsense.
After the "flour bombing" incident during the recent Prime Minister's Question Time. Leader of the House of Commons has delivered his review of House of Commons security measures.
Pine Bluff, North Dakota-...
Sacremento - Rainbow Horkenheimer, a left-wing political activist is pounding the pavement on the West Coast, handing out leaflets about the necessity of extending tolerance and kindness to terrorists.
(WASHINGTON) Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will be replaced later this summer by Commerce Secretary Don Evans, in a move White House officials are describing as a "routine rotation" of cabinet personnel.
Washington - Attorney General John Ashcroft has issued a warning about possible Al-Qaeda attacks this summer. Ashcroft said, "We thought they would take the summer off. Typically, Al-Qaeda vacations in Amish country or the Outer Banks of Nor...