Spoof news stories from Wednesday 3 March 2004
Dog Set To Testify in Scott Peterson Murder Trial
Redwood City, Calif. - Prosecutors in the Scott Peterson murder trial unveiled plans today to call one of the scent-sniffing rescue dogs used in the investigation to the witness stand. Maddie, a Black Labrador or African-American Labrador as...
Essex part of France shock
We all believed it - but now we know it's true. Essex is not part of England. It actually belongs to France.
Blair denies change of Royal name means anything
Tony Blair today denied that plans to change the name of the Royal Family to the Public Family Number One signalled a change in attitude to the monarchy.
Best Dressed at the 2004 Oscars
Hollywood, CA
In respect to the Super Tuesday yesterday, fashionistas waited to give their final review of Oscar's best and worst dressed.
Big-Head Kerry To Walk Away With Democratic Nomination
Yesterday was Super Tuesday. The good ole' Democratic boy Superbowl. The candidates were at their politico best. They campaigned so hard that John Kerry's hair actually moved.
Introducing McMicro-sized Fast Food!
McDonalds Corp., Global HQ - Eager to cash in on the low-carb, macrobiotic and other dietary crazes sweeping the fast food marketplace, restaurant giant McDonalds corporation has announced that it will phase out Super sized products and introduce Mi...
Kerry Shows Bush A Fine Pair Of Tits
Senator John Kerry's amazing hairstyle overshadowed his recent Democratic Party Presidential nomination, when a pair of tits were found in his magnificent mane.
Bush calls Jesus "Threat to Democracy"
George Bush, in a statement today has branded Jesus "A dangerous revolutionary and probably a commie" in a speech to the Council of Churches today.
A Nobel Occupation
United States President George W. Bush and Great Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair have been nominated to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to bring peace to Iraq by bombing the crap out of the country and allowing it to fall into cha...
Hoddle rejects 'sinner' Saints
Ex-England manager Glenn Hoddle has sensationally revealed the real reason why he has decided not to join Southampton - because he believes the south coast club is ‘suffering from sins it committed in a past life'.
Dick Don't Do Gay
Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney, in a turnaround from his previous almost human position of having states handle the issue of Gay Marriage, has come out in support of President George W. Bush's call for a Constitutional Amendment banning the Civil...
Linguistics Professors Leave Campus Speechless
HARVARD UNIVERSITY, Cambridge, Mass. - A select group of professors of linguistics from one of the world's most prestigious Universities have gone on strike, leaving several thousand students speechless.