Spoof news stories from Monday 29 March 2004

Bush Administration Strikes Deal to Change Name of Convenience Store Chain

Washington, D.C. - The Bush Administration announced today that they have struck a deal with 7-Eleven Inc., the owner of the popular 7-11 convenience store chain to change the name of all stores to 9-11, effective immediately.

Superman Calls It Quits At 89

Superman has finally called it quits. The 89 year-old superhero has been suiting up in spandex for as long as he can remember and is ready to retire. He made the decision based on the fact that "the world is so corrupted there's not a darn t...

Margaret Thatcher goes - to Heaven

Hendon residents were astonished today to see a figure in golden robes, surrounded by cherubim and seraphim and accompanied by hosts of angels plucking their harps, rising slowly from the earth on a silver cloud. Gawping housewives hanging out their...

The Gospel According To Bob, the Sacred Shoulder Pad

Bob-ism is the newest religion to take the world by storm. It was started by the UPA, the United Perverts of America, a Catholic-girl group that hated theology classes in High School. Their motto was, "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste," which is only a few words different than the Catholic Church's motto, "A dirty mind is a terrible thing."...

9-11 - The Musical!

Preparations are in motion for a musical that will be based on the events of 9-11. The musical, which will star all of the original political figures including Bush, Rumsfeld and Powell, paints the events as a tragedy, but a tragedy that leads to he...

Goldilocks Sues Three Bears

The Forest- Speaking up for herself after years of silence, Goldilocks confirmed her intent to "sue the pants off" the three bears. "I've undergone years of therapy," said the golden-locked beauty, "I'm sure you can imagine, post-traumatic st...

Maury Povich Show Makeover Success for Jackson

After more then 2,000 purported plastic surgeries Michael Jackson has achieved the results he has strived to obtain for nearly two decades. Appearing on the Maury Povich All Star Celebrity Make Over Special, Jackson returned in 6 weeks looking...

The Menu for the Last Supper --- Found, Perhaps?

Israel, near Jerusalem --...

Condoleeza Rice's Lips Are Sealed

Washington, DC--- National Security Advisor, Condoleeza Rice, will not testify before the Committee to Figure out What the Heck Happened on 9/1...

Descendants of Adam and Eve to sue God

US based lawyer Bill "Big Boy" Bucks who has in the past carried out successful class action lawsuits against mothers (on behalf of their children), fathers (on behalf of their wives) and children (on behalf of their mothers and fathers) has today la...

Face the Spoof: Dan Rather

I caught up to CBS anchorman Dan Rather outside his studio in New York. Wearing a dark grey suit and tie, he looked every inch the respected journalist he is.

Will von Schumacher win yet again?

It's the question on the lips of every avid fan of the FF1 competition - will Baron von Schumacher be top scorer again this year? In his dashing leathers and trade-mark bright red, triple-spoiler speed machine, the aristocratic ace is tipped to win t...

God Goes Green

The Bush Administration is up in arms about John Kerry's use of scripture in a church this week. Mr. Kerry, speaking in St. Louis at the New Northside Baptist Church quoted James, 2:14 which says something suitably biblical about something or another...