Spoof news stories from Thursday 11 March 2004
Whatever Happened To Justin Guarini?
I can't believe that the press is so horrible to the runner-up of American Idol. Justin Guarini's talent and curls were ignored by the beast that is the music industry. How can we ignore the brilliance of his acting debut in From Justin To Kelly? It's tragic.
Justin, you have fans. You have to make a record. Okay, another record. This time use songs that people want to h...
"Get your a** out of my way or I'll destroy the whole world" - Bush
WASHINGTON D.C. --- During a scheduled phone conversation between George Bush, the president of the United States of America, and Paul Martin, the Prime Minister of Canada, Bush argued with Martin about the American military presence in Iraq. Accordi...
Clinton-Bin Laden Wedding Jubilee: Britney Spears, Janet Jackson's Nipple No-Shows
Orlando, FL- Two cultures blended beautifully today in a touching ceremony joining Osama Bin Laden and Chelsea Clinton in holy matrimony.
Smoking May Offer Addicts a Solution to the Patch
Scientists from several North American universities and research facilities met on Monday to discuss a new treatment for the nicotine patch. The treatment, called "smoking," has been tested thoroughly in the lab, and now tests are moving on to human...
Codgeton Cars Cause Countless Catastrophes
THIS WEEK HAS been dubbed "the week of quite a few accidents" by residents of the sleepy town of Codgeton, due to five accidents happening on exactly the same spot of road, involving exactly the same vehicles.
LETTER TO SADDAM
Dear Sady
When you came over on Christmas of 1968 we smoked the cigars that your parents gave me. We almost felt like real adults as we talked abou...
Todd Bertuzzi Joins Cast of The Sopranos
NEWARK, N.J. - Vancouver Canucks hockey player (and "goon") Todd Bertuzzi, having been suspended from the National Hockey League has been given a new op-po-toonity. He's going t...
White House Reveals Program To Wipe Out HIV-AIDS
Washington DC: The Bush Administration announced today that it intends to "Wipe Out HIV-AIDS" (WOHA) by November 2004.
Max Clifford: An Apology
Thespoof, together with other major national daily newspapers in the UK, apologises unreservedly to PR guru Max Clifford, together with all of his clients, for failing to produce coverage of any of his clients yesterday.
Hockey Hit-Man Bertuzzi Makes Many Apologies, Says He Didn't Mean It
TORONTO, Canada (FP) -- Todd Bertuzzi, an All-Star NHL forward, publically apologized to Colorado's Steve Moore, the man whose neck he broke with one damaging punch.