Famous Belgian anarchist and custard pie-thrower, Noel Godin, has vowed to target the Pope AND Ian Paisley if the suggested second visit by the Pope to Northern Ireland goes ahead. The Pope has been a long-term target for Godin whose organisation hu...
WASHINGTON, DC-- George Bush has been having trouble Proving Osama Bin Laden met with Saddam Hussein, but top CIA officials this week revealed that they have uncovered proof the Al Qaeda leader had met with Satan, (AKA Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Be...
Several months ago on his ESPN Radio show Sportscenter Anchor Dan Patrick proclaimed that McPherson College could make a claim for the Sugar Bowl on a list comprised of who beat who during the 2003 College Football season. Patrick made reference to...
The Bush administration has ended fluoride's monopoly on city drinking water and is ready to allow every major US city to add one medication from an HMO-approved list to its water supply effective immediately.
Chapter III – Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile
June 23, 1892 (Friday)...
"Donald Rumsfeld is out of a job!"...
Robert Bolton, an IT sales executive, credit control assistant or retail analyst from somewhere like Chester or Chesterfield announced today that he doesn't hate football, he likes it, actually.
PARIS: Scientists from the L'Oreal Institute of Cosmetic Research yesterday announced that they had discovered and named two new chemical elements - Nutrileum™ and Boswelox™. The news threatens to render millions of chemistry textbooks obsolete,...
ELBOW, Ariz. -- Alone and downtrodden, former heavyweight great Mike Tyson is beginning to realize how stupid he was and, now broke, is opening up to how stupid he still is.
Attorneys representing singer Billy Joel have filed suit in federal court claiming that the title of former President Bill Clinton memoirs, "My Life" is taken directly from Joel's 1978 hit song, "My Life".
Former British Prime Minister Harold Wilson was once quoted as saying, "I'm an optimist, but I'm an optimist who carries a raincoat." However, Wilson has been photographed hundreds of times without a raincoat under his arm, defying his words and making historians wonder if he ever wore under pants.
French writer Robert Mallet said, "Many pessimists end up by desiring...
Opinions, it is said, are like elbows—everyone has two. Well, perhaps there are a few more one-armed men or women out there who have one, but that is the business of fictional characters like Richard Kimble, not me. I am concerned with criticism and you should be, too, because it usually doesn’t amount to a hill of beans what other people think of you. Let me spin a story for you that exemplifies...
CAMBRIDGE, UK (AP) -- After the shock results of the US Presidential Election 2000 the consensus among British scientists was that Americans were both mad and evil. During a two-year study The Cambridge University Research Group sought to test wheth...
He has sold records by the dozen in a career spanning four decades, but today rock star Sting announced he would be quitting the music business for good. In a well choreographed interview with an acne infested MTV presenter, Sting explained the reas...
Studies released today indicate that heightened international airport security measures may be contributing to an increased number of foot fungus cases, commonly known as athlete's foot.
Poland's sour dough rye bread with caraway seeds is the globe's new top loaf.
June 2004 . . . (A serious thought to ponder because American lives have been and are at stake.)
Someone rescue me from Administrative Illogic:...
Early this morning news broke from hell that a deal has been finalized between Satan and a Chicago man that will result in a guaranteed trip to the World Series for the Chicago Cubs.
A day after regaining his license to fight in the state of New Jersey, former heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson announced that he has begun taping a reality show titled "Black Eye for the White Guy" for the Bravo network. The sho...
Washington, DC--US cows and pigs today demanded a unified language for those long sandwiches consisting of cured meat and mustard or ketchup on crusty bread.
In Northern Ireland, there are fears that the town of Ballybilly will be consumed in a massive conflagration on the night of July 11/12. Along with their counterparts throughout the province, Ballybilly loyalists will be kicking off the celebration...
INDONESIA -- Archaeologists searching for relics of ancient times, but nothing in particular, have come upon what could be the greatest discovery ever--photographs of Paradise.