GRANTVILLE, Pa. -- I love scientists. These are people who devote their lives to the tiny things that usually become monstrously large things in all of our lives. Scientists are devoted, dedicated, destined for greatness, dolled up for dinner and delicately deliberate in their discoveries.
So imagine how excited I was when I learned that scientists revealed that they have identified a micro...
NEW YORK (AP) The Pulitzer Organization announced this morning that Matt Drudge would be the recipient of the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for Explanatory Reporting. Mr. Drudge received the Pulitzer Prize for his clear, concise and comprehensive stories that...
Recently collected data confirm that weekend car washing by spouses has surpassed sex as the most frequent, and the most enjoyable, activity in suburbia, with lawn mowing, leaf blowing, and powerwashing tied for third place. Tied for fourth place wer...
In an effort to add increased value to its already well-regarded customer service, the Freeport, Maine-based retailer L.L. Bean can now determine a customer's order before the customer gives the item number.
ESPN, June 14, 2004. Game 5 of the NBA Championships, scheduled for Tuesday night, has been indefinitely postponed. The LA Lakers, unable to play, have been bussed to an undisclosed location where they are being treated for Emotional Discomb...
In the aftermath of the Euro 2004 elections, the UKIP has announced that it is to establish links with Ian Paisley's DUP, which topped the poll in Northern Ireland. We understand that the UKIP has agreed to renegotiate the Good Friday Agreement...
Electrolux Group announced last week a recall of all canister vacuum cleaners made by the company since 1949. The worldwide recall follows several dozen incidents in which small children have been sucked up by the vacuum's strong motor. A Newark,...
SYDNEY, Australia -- "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin is in deep guano again - this time for allegedly taking indecent liberties with a Humpback Whale in the ocean off Antarctica.
International relations took an unusual turn last night when members of a secret Scottish order invited French striker Zinedine Zidane to be crowned King of Scotland.
(Ascot, Berkshire; Monday) Amid scenes of panic and hysteria at the bookies' rails, this year's Royal meeting at Ascot racecourse has been officially cancelled due to a sudden outbreak of foot in mouth disease in the jockeys' weighing ro...
Park yourselves submissive students and read carefully what I have to say.
First of all there are a lot of library books that haven’t been returned to the school, just because we don’t enforce any fines, students think they can take advantage of us.
Marine biologist Douglas Denver, claims that after conducting a secretive underwater study, he's seen proof that dolphins have a sophisticated underwater communication network using discarded fishing nets and clamshells.
An angel (pictured) has been found working in a medical clinic in Houndsworth, England. Staff at the centre became suspicious when their patients' health suddenly began to improve drastically, and when the angel, who had been using the name Thomas Mc...
American astronaut Neil Armstrong has today revealed that pressure aboard his famed moon landing spacecraft has caused his skin to turn black. In a statement released today he claimed; "We weren't ready for space travel in the sixties, but Kennedy fo...
Secretary of State Colin Powell has characterized himself as "not a happy camper" during comments made regarding the 2003 Terrorism Report debacle. While this reporter has no idea what the Terrorism Report is all about, one can easily understand what...
The ‘Back Britain' campaign has bounced back.
AP, Hollywood, Stardate 17549. Democrats unanimously praised the choice of Vin Diesel as the answer to the 2004 ticket. "As soon as I heard he was back in the galaxy, I had to offer him the VP spot," said Presidential candidate John Kerry,...